We Asked Aussies To Share Their Heaven Hell Dating Stories From Satan’s Fave App Tinder

It’s been ten years of Tinder and depending on who you are, that could mean ten years of dating heaven or hell. We decided to gather a myriad of horror stories and success stories to celebrate a whole decade of the white flame app. Buckle up friends because we have some batshit stories and beautiful tear-jerkers coming your way. I thought it would only be fair that I shared my own Tinder horror story before embarrassing a bunch of random Aussies on the internet. So, here goes:

Michael, 24

I matched with this guy on Tinder and we agreed to go to a park near his house for a picnic. This took me a train and a bus to get there because it was so far. He was gonna pick me up in his car at the station but I had to use the bathroom first. Of course, the tap was broken and doused me movie-style. My light blue jeans looked like I pissed myself. This isn’t even the worst part of the date. So we head to the park, him with all the picnic goods and me with my Pollock piss painting jeans. He tells me to divide the chocolate brownies for him because he has a phobia of sticky things. I start giggling because I had the mind of a twelve-year-old and immediately thought of jizz. He then goes “yeah, that too” and I can’t stop visualising him screaming while cumming. We then proceed to eat strawberries in slow motion because this was in the needles-in-strawberries era and he wanted to be cautious. He then takes me to see the geese by the water and I say “let’s take a gander” because again, mind of a twelve-year-old. He stops in his tracks to tell me how he absolutely hates