As a piece of art depicting motherhood, Judith Rohrmoser’s self-portrait of breastfeeding sticks two fingers up at the tradition of the Madonna with child. In her painting, Rohrmoser’s baby feeds contentedly, chubby cheeked and sleepy under damp lashes. The artist is less serene, looking directly at us, headphones clamped over her ears, eyes filled with what might be a roar of grief, or possibly an overwhelming sense that everything has changed.
Rohrmoser is one of five women who agreed to be filmed at their most vulnerable in the first year of motherhood for this Austrian documentary. It’s a gentle but truthful look at new motherhood, making the point that – ignore the Renaissance artists – having a tiny baby does not put you in perpetual state of bliss. The reality is exhaustion, joy, boredom, wonder and a rush of other feelings. Director Josephine Ahnelt shoots in 16mm, her camera up close, filming with the intimacy of a home video, cutting off heads to at one point zero in on what interests her: a mother snipping her baby’s tiny fingernails.
The women share their experiences in voiceover. One mother says she didn’t experience the all-encompassing love she was told she’d feel when her baby was placed on her chest; instead, it happened little by little. Another talks about the judgmental comments she gets about bottle feeding her baby after struggling to breastfeed. One woman says she didn’t believe friends that her relationship would be changed by having a baby. Now she knows.
There are some incredibly touching moments: mainly it’s the little things, the bouncing and jigging or massaging chunky little baby thighs, all done with love. And sometimes it’s the glazed over look of a soldier after a week in the trenches.
• Waves Turn is on True Story from 21 August.
