“Oh, I don’t have a microwave,” that person who doesn’t have a microwave will tell you, judgment dusting their words like icing sugar atop a microwave mug cake. Inevitably, this will be followed by a light humblebrag like: “Call me old-fashioned, but I’ve just never seen the need.” They bake their cakes in the oven, reheat their leftovers on the hob, and they never have ready meals, which is all they really believe a microwave is good for. No matter that last week’s cooking trends report from Waitrose (no less) has revealed that microwave sales are up 13% at John Lewis compared to last year, and that it is this year’s most popular kitchen gadget among those surveyed; for that person, not owning a microwave is as fundamental to their personal brand as drinking natural wine and riding a fixie.
As hot takes on household appliances go, this one intrigues me most. After all, no one gets het up over kettles. I don’t own a toaster for the same reason one might not own a microwave – my kitchen’s too small – but I don’t make a point of it, I just burn my bread under the grill. Sure, spiralisers and juicers were a bit divisive back in their day, but those furores were like the fads themselves, lighthearted and fleeting – as, I bet, will be the current must-have gadget, the air fryer. Nearly six decades since microwaves appeared on the market, however, conversations about them still assume a moral dimension – particularly among foodies who find beeps, buttons and a setting called “chaos defrost” anathema to what “good” food should be.
