More kids now (86%) are expected to do chores than their parents at the same age (76%). However, if the way you delegate chores isn’t working for your family, one parenting expert has some advice to share.
While it’s sometimes thought that children today have an easier ride in some ways than previous generations growing up, almost nine in 10 of today's kids (86%) are given chores to do. From sorting the laundry (here are 11 common laundry mistakes you’re probably making!) to this common household chore that divides families, we often carve up household tasks between all of us – and there’s often pocket money up for grabs as a result.
However, research from Online Carpets has found that over half of parents (55%) still wish their children would do more to help around the house. In this instance, MBACP-certified counsellor Georgina Sturmer, a parenting expert, has offered some advice on getting your kids to do more chores. Let’s take a look at her four key tips.
1. Keep it age-appropriate and realistic. “Consider working with your children to develop a shared contract or list of what is expected from them,” Sturmer suggests. It can describe what the task entails, when it should be done, and how long it’s likely to take. And, as children benefit from routine and structure, a system to reward their work is a good idea, too.
Be careful not to expect too much from your kids, whether that’s asking a younger child to take too much on or making a teenager who’s struggling to juggle studying or a part-time job with household responsibilities.
2. Be a role model. It’s good for children to see everyone in the household doing their fair share. If they see you taking an active role in household tasks, they’re going to be more inclined to muck in.
3. Once boundaries have been set, keep an eye on what happens. “If the chores don’t get done, try to stay firm but calm,” says Sturmer. “It’s important that our children know that they need to adhere to the expectations that have been set.”
However, it’s important to avoid any conflict or arguments. Online Carpets found that over four in 10 parents and children (41%) in the UK argue about chores, but are you able to have a calm conversation instead? You don’t need to let your kids off the hook for avoiding their chores, but you might be able to find a solution that works for everybody.
4. Make it fun. Yep, chores can be fun – even if that sounds hard to believe! Put your phones away or turn them off, and all do your chores together. Why not chat while you work or put some music on, or agree to do something together as a family once the chores are completed? Make it feel like a normal part of family life, as opposed to a punishment.
“As parents, it can be hard to strike the right balance,” explains Sturmer. “To set and maintain standards for behaviour, while allowing our children to be children, and to develop their creativity and autonomy. Household chores might seem unappealing, but they offer us a useful opportunity.
“To set standards for our children, to show them that they are part of the family unit, to demonstrate that hard work and participation are an important part of life, and – if we choose to do so – to link them with some kind of acknowledgement or reward.”
So, why not have a go at making chores more fun, and involve the whole family? You could even have an informal family meeting and give your kids the chance to discuss the chores they enjoy the most. If you think ironing’s boring but one of your children finds it relaxing, for example, that’s one problem solved already!
In other family news, here’s one overlooked reason modern parents are 'burnt out' and stressed, and here’s why helping kids is 'stealing their self-esteem'. Meanwhile, parenting stress is declared 'hazardous' to your health by US top expert the Surgeon General, and here are some simple ways to help kids build creativity and emotional intelligence.
