There's this awful woman – you might know her. She's really common, very strong northern accent. Grew up in some dump called Stockport. She vapes while she's exercising, she flashes her knickers at male colleagues, she's tattooed, she wears Doc Martens at work, she had a thing with a married man, bought her own former council house that she’s no right to own. She became a grandmother at 37, people! Everyone decent is shocked and appalled by her.
The only thing is, nobody can tell her where to go, because of quotas, diversity, equal opportunities rubbish. Oh, and she’s been known to drink whisky with the King, has a grace-and-favour pied-a-terre in central London, if you please, and she's currently second in command behind the prime minister.
