One day during the 2020 lockdown, my housemate passed my bedroom while I was standing by my mirror. She called out: “Your stomach looks so small!” and intended it as a compliment. My stomach was undoubtedly small. But it wasn’t genetic or because of a new workout I was trying. It was because I had hardly eaten in five days. Nor had I showered or left my bed. Far from being on a health kick, I was in the grips of depression.
As she headed off, I flopped back on my bed and found comfort in her words. There was one good thing I could take from the day – my stomach looked flat. Too bad everything else was swallowing me into a dark cave of endless dread. My long-distance relationship had recently come to an end when my partner cheated on me and subsequently lied about it. This led to panic attacks, depression and returning to the disordered eating habits that I had as a teenager.
