VALE OLSEN
Vale John Olsen, who died last night surrounded by his loved ones aged 95. The celebrated Australian painter was one of few artists to have won the Archibald (2005), Wynne (1969, 1985) and Sulman (1989) prizes in his lifetime, Guardian Australia reports. But he was also known for the warm twinkle in his eye, and his humility. Next month, Olsen’s art will illuminate the sails of the Sydney Opera House for Vivid Festival, something that prompted him to describe himself as a “lucky boy”. Olsen was born in Newcastle (like this Worm writer!) in 1928, ABC reports, spending time painting and studying in Mallorca before returning home to become one of Australia’s best-loved landscape artists. Olsen spoke to the SMH just last week, saying he was excited to still be painting. “You have got to have life,” he said.
To another high-profile passing now and late Australian cricketer Shane Warne’s MCG funeral cost Victorian taxpayers $1.6 million, according to documents The Age FOI’d. A million of those bucks went to Eddie McGuire’s JAM TV production company, which produced the event. The second-most expensive state funeral in 2022 was for the four police officers killed in the Eastern Freeway tragedy, costing about a third of Warnie’s at $584,204. The paper also notes that, in the past 20 years, just six of the 47 state funerals held by the Victorian government were for women. Speaking of women, South Australia has removed gendered pronouns from state Parliament’s rules of procedure, The Advertiser reports. Among the changes, “Her Majesty” will be replaced with “the sovereign”, while “His Excellency” will become “the governor”. Cue some predictable backlash, but Police Minister Joe Szakacs was like, who cares? It’s been happening for years, he said, and besides, calling a female chair “chairman” is inaccurate.
BAD EDUCATION
Violence in NSW state schools has surged by 50% in the past decade, the SMH reports, to the point where the cops are called an average of 10 times a day. It comes as NSW Education Minister Prue Car will review a policy that limits suspensions to make sure teachers have the “right tools” to manage bad behaviour. Everyone has the right to a safe classroom, Car said, though one might counter that denying violent kids days of education isn’t exactly an ideal alternative. Interestingly, however, former education minister Adrian Piccoli reckons state schools get more bad press because they are bound by reporting requirements, while private and Catholic schools can fly under the radar.
From state schools to state health — and NSW Health bureaucrats have been accused of running a staff information session about the Voice to Parliament that was described as a “Yes campaign event by stealth” by Recognise A Better Way campaign’s Gary Johns… even though the info sesh hasn’t happened yet. It’s going to be hosted by deputy secretary of Aboriginal Affairs NSW Shane Hamilton today, the Herald Sun says, and the invite describes the Voice as something that will “provide advice” and “be chosen by First Nations people”, facts that Johns wasn’t happy about, I s’pose. No offence to the “No” side, but these Beetoota Advocate headlines write themselves sometimes.
FEELING HOT, HOT, HOT
Brace yourselves for a possible super El Niño bringing extreme droughts, floods, heatwaves and storms before the end of the year, Guardian Australia reports. We experienced the last big El Niño in 2015-16, and they tend to pop up around once a decade, when very hot temperatures descend on the central part of the Pacific near the equator. The Bureau of Meteorology said it looked at seven models that suggested El Niño had a 50/50 chance of hitting us by October. We’d see decreased rainfall and above-average daytime temperatures across the southern two-thirds of the country, one expert said, which would increase the risk of bushfires and heatwaves. It comes as WA is bracing for a tropical cyclone to make landfall on Friday. Caravan parks, mine sites, remote communities and cattle stations between Broome and Port Hedland are evacuating, WA Today reports. There could be winds in excess of 200km/hr, the Department of Fire and Emergency Services commissioner Darren Klemm warned.
Meanwhile, four “eshays” allegedly stole Woodside boss Meg O’Neill’s Maserati from her beachside mansion, according to The West ($). “The group of alleged gangsters also allegedly removed their eshay-style footwear,” the paper writes, before they “allegedly crawled through a doggy door” and “allegedly stole the keys to a blue Maserati sports car and a Jeep Cherokee”. Then one of the accused “allegedly left the house with his alleged co-offenders”. I’m begging the paper’s subeditor to revisit this story. Incidentally, US-born O’Neill could pocket up to $12.5 million in pay this year according to a shareholder notice for Woodside’s annual meeting, The West ($) reported last month.
ON A LIGHTER NOTE
Nothing is off limits between writer Jo Stubbings and her close friends, who share “our birthing stories in the most graphic detail, our oozing nipples, [and] our exploding bowel complaints”. Well, Stubbings qualifies, almost nothing, as she writes for The Age. See, everyone has this little ball of guilt inside of them, thrown right to the back like an ugly gifted scarf we feel compelled to keep, about a cringe moment where we lied, cheated, stole or stuffed up — even if the offence was little more than shaving the head of your friend’s Barbie doll as a kid (as my best friend Natalie memorably did). Thankfully, we plebians get to keep these shameful moments mostly a secret — while people like cyclist Lance Armstrong or former president Bill Clinton have to very publically ‘fess up to their sins. Stubbings’s own moment of cringe involves cigarettes (not cigars, ahem, if you know what she means).
She was 24 and ferociously working on her thesis, handwriting 100,000 words in pencil (not to mention “cutting and pasting using scissors and sticky tape”). Stubbings had been self-soothing with ciggies, but she knew her parents would kill her, so in a moment of madness she cut them all up and dumped them over the back fence. The next day, Stubbings says, was the worst day of her life. The panicked neighbour asked her if she knew anything about them (“Sorry — no!”). So the fearful neighbour promptly called the police, who then interrogated Stubbings’ mother! After the cops left, Stubbings felt like crap, but at least it was over and she was off the hook. Until her mum strolled in and asked sweetly, “Is there something you want to tell me, darl?”. Being sprung might seem like the worst possible result, Stubbings says, but having your guilt exposed and knowing those close to you still love you is the most incredible relief. “Even if they think you’re a nutcase,” she adds.
Hoping you forgive yourself in some small way today.
SAY WHAT?
I’m resigning without rancour but on a point of principle. What I want to be able to say to my children in the future is that ‘your father stood up for something he believes in’ and that’s really important and that’s what all of us as parliamentarians should do.
Julian Leeser
The former Indigenous Australians minister has quit the Coalition frontbench over the Liberal Party’s opposition to the Voice to Parliament, something he worked on for almost a decade. Leeser said “the time for the Voice has come”, and vowed to campaign for Yes. But he urged Prime Minister Anthony Albanese to engage with Coalition voters who may have worries about the model.
CRIKEY RECAP
Dalai Lama’s ‘suck my tongue’ controversy has conspiracy theorists excited
“The video of the February event had begun circulating around social media in early April, drawing confusion and outrage over the inappropriate interaction. Sticking out your tongue is a traditional greeting in Tibet and archival photos show that the Dalai Lama has a history of greeting with a kiss. But for fringe figures and groups around the world who widely shared the videos on social media, the video is supposed evidence of their conspiracy theory that many of the world’s leaders are paedophiles.
“This belief is a key part of the QAnon conspiracy theory, which believes that Donald Trump will defeat this cabal of Satanic cannibals. The video and articles covering the Dalai Lama’s kiss and comments have been excitedly shared in Australian and global online conspiracy spaces seen by Crikey. Viral tweets about the controversy from now-deleted Twitter account @JoostBroekers (whose bio “My favorite part of being a ‘conspiracy theorist’ is not having myocarditis” is a reference to a common anti-vaccine trope) …”
An 8mm needle in a 3000km haystack: emails reveal how WA’s radioactive capsule was found
“The suspect was 6mm in diameter and 8mm long, and the crime scene stretched 1400km along the Great Northern Highway between Perth and Rio Tinto’s Gudai-Darri iron ore mine. But freedom of information documents obtained by Crikey show a single search party would span almost 3000km in five days in the hope of locating the capsule containing the radioactive substance caesium-137.
“An email from the Australian Defence Force’s Military Strategic Commitments (MSC) division lays out a five-day search operation for a team of six vehicles — two from the ADF, three from the Department of Fire and Emergency Services, and a special ‘Mine Spec Prado’ hire car courtesy of the Australian Radiation Protection and Nuclear Safety Agency (ARPANSA).”
‘Labor’s treachery’: Greens forefather slams Bowen’s failure
“At 78, the steely [Bob] Brown shows no sign of slowing down his brazen brand of environmental activism. He was arrested in November last year in a peaceful occupation of swift parrot habitat near Swansea, Tasmania — a logging site that was set to be mulched despite there being no public evidence of the logging’s legality, Brown says.
“Brown’s decades-long determination to stick his neck out and become a human headline for environmental causes has undoubtedly bolstered the new younger generation of climate activists in Australia, like Disrupt Barrup Hub member Joana Partyka graffitiing a painting, and former Extinction Rebellion member Deanna “Violet” Coco’s arrest for blocking Sydney Harbour Bridge.”
READ ALL ABOUT IT
Taliban ban on women [working] has forced UN into ‘appalling choice’ (Al Jazeera)
Northern Ireland police recover suspected pipe bombs ahead of Biden visit (Reuters)
Pentagon leak traced to video game chat group users arguing over war in Ukraine (The Guardian)
Germany turns its back on nuclear for good despite Europe’s energy crisis (EuroNews)
Trudeau Foundation president, board resign, citing ‘politicization’ of China-linked donation (CBC)
THE COMMENTARIAT
Voice report shows plenty of flaws, but no real solutions — Warren Mundine (The Australian) ($): “The report assumes Indigenous people want ‘a greater say on the laws, policies and programs that affect our lives’ and that ‘non-Indigenous Australians support that call’. What laws? What policies and programs? I can’t think of any that treat Aboriginal people unfairly or were designed without extensive consultation with Indigenous people. The opposite. And there’s no indication of how this will alleviate Aboriginal disadvantage. The report claims Indigenous people have been calling for a national-level mechanism to have a greater say in Australian government laws, policies and decisions.
“Really? I think this call comes from a small minority of Aboriginal people from community organisations and academia who already advise government and have been amply funded over years to deliver improvements with little to show for it. Those groups will become the iceberg to the voice’s tip in a complex local, regional and national apparatus … Blackfellas aren’t all the same. We can’t speak for each other’s countries. And even within our own country, we don’t always see eye-to-eye. No one expects this of non-Aboriginal people. Australia’s system of government has a process for reaching decisions in a large, diverse society, built on nearly a thousand years of precedent and tradition in the Westminster system. There’s no proposed process for decision-making in the report.”
Can ‘wholesome’ Bendigo Bank walk the walk on climate action? — Tim Boreham (The Age): “The bank is arguably best known for its Community Bank model, by which townships establish and run their own branches in partnership with the bank. This has resulted in more than 300 community enterprises established nationally that have collectively returned more than $292 million to their communities. On the environmental side, in September last year the bank established its BENZero policy, which commits the bank to net-zero emissions status by 2040 (with a 50% reduction by 2030). Ahead of schedule, the bank has already reduced operational emissions by 35%, relative to a 2019-20 financial year baseline. Bendigo also aims to operate fully on renewable energy by 2025 and is transitioning its sealed road fleet to electric vehicles.
“But for all banks, lending policies are a barometer of where they stand on sustainability issues — and the definition of which borrowers are acceptable or not can become blurred. Bendigo does not lend directly to fossil fuel companies or projects, or native forest logging projects — but toes a diplomatic line … Green loans offer incentives, typically lower interest rates, to borrowers using the funds for environmentally friendly initiatives. As of the end of December, the bank reported a more than 600% increase in green loan demand. The bank’s customer behaviour is key to its carbon abatement contribution. Revised annually, Bendigo’s animal welfare and livestock policies aim to ensure customers are prioritising sustainable and ethical practices.”
HOLD THE FRONT PAGE
WHAT’S ON TODAY
Online
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Sydney Business School’s Marian Baird, the University of Iceland’s Ásdís Arnald, and The Australia Institute’s Andrew Scott will chat about what we can learn from Iceland’s gender equality, in a webinar held by the institute.
Ngunnawal Country (also known as Canberra)
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Australian Competition and Consumer Commission chair Gina Cass-Gottlieb will speak to the National Press Club.
Yuggera Country (also known as Brisbane)
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Author Claire Christian will discuss her new book, West Side Honey, at Avid Reader bookshop.
Eora Nation Country (also known as Sydney)
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Journalist Chris Uhlmann and his brother, illustrator Paul Uhlmann, will host a story time and drawing workshop at the launch their new book, The Useless Tune, at Better Read Than Dead bookshop.
