Paper Boi Atlanta
Sounds like: Gucci Mane
If it wasn’t for the fact that it’s only a few seconds long, the song Paper Boi would probably have been No 1 in 57 different countries – we see you, Hungary and Norway – by now. Meanwhile, the acoustic, female-led version from season two would definitely be soundtracking a million weary flat whites in regional branches of Starbucks across the globe. A trap banger straight out of Hot-lanta, it’s actually performed by a man named Stephen, the brother of Atlanta creator – and 78% of the world’s current imaginary boyfriend – Donald Glover.
Broken Pussy Insecure
Sounds like: Lizzo
Issa Rae’s got bars. As filthy as Lil’ Kim and as straight-talking as a tired nurse in an understaffed STI clinic, Broken Pussy is the tale of a woman whose love life is less than flourishing. “Nobody wants you cos you’ve got a broken pussy,” shrugs charming, directionless nonprofit worker Issa Dee, taking inspiration from her single best mate. A lot of people say it’s their dream to have a song written about them but, in this case, we’re not so sure.
Peeno Noir Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
Sounds like: Sparks? Right Said Fred? The opera? God knows, tbh
A wild, symphonic “ode to black penis” sung by Broadway wannabe Titus Andromedon, Peeno Noir is Billy Joel’s We Didn’t Start the Fire as reimagined by the erotic gay art legend and biggest fan of men in uniform you ever did meet, Tom of Finland. What could be better, we hear you ask? Literally nothing.
C’est La Vie French and Saunders
Sounds like: Abba
More Abba than an actual Abba song, C’est La Vie is an outrageously on-point version of one of those sad ones the magnificent Swedes did when they were getting divorced but still had to hang out with each other in order to continue making a shitload of cash. Something their recent reunion announcement seems to suggest they’re finally over.
Bad Uncle Nathan Barley
Sounds like: Hannah Diamond
We’re pretty sure PC Music based its whole shtick on the synth sounds of Bad Uncle, one of Chris Morris’s many forays into the dark side of pop. Other examples of Morris’s life sentence-worthy tunes include Brass Eye’s Me Oh Myra, a Pulp-like ode to serial killer Myra Hindley, and the glam-rock shocker Playground Bang-a-Round. Never put these songs on a party playlist.
Free Love Freeway The Office
Sounds like: Tom Petty
Slough’s very own heartland hero David Brent feels oh so many feels in this acoustic campfire rocker straight from a bag of scraps spewed out by Bruce Springsteen’s paper shredder. Bafflingly, Ricky Gervais performed the song at the 2007 memorial concert for Princess Diana at Wembley, on a bill that also included Kanye, Elton John and the English National Ballet. What is life.
