Trevor Noah
On the eve of the midterm elections, Trevor Noah checked in on the tight Senate race in Pennsylvania, where celebrity doctor-turned-Trump acolyte Mehmet Oz squared off against the lieutenant governor, John Fetterman. Over the weekend, the woman responsible for Oz’s television career, Oprah, endorsed his rival.
Oprah going against Dr. Oz? There's always a point where you must kill the monster you created pic.twitter.com/6fgSl4PSMM
— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) November 8, 2022
“That’s always how it goes, people: at some point in life, you have to kill the monster you create,” the Daily Show host joked. “Dr Frankenstein and his creature, Obi Wan and Anakin, parents and their kids.
“But still, Oprah going for Fetterman must’ve broken Dr Oz’s heart. Luckily, he has the perfect cure for that,” Noah joked, referring to Oz’s long history of hawking pseudo-science.
Taking the wide view of the midterm races, Noah echoed concern of a red wave. “Democrats are nervous right now, because they’ve got a lot stacked up against them in this election,” he explained. “Inflation is high, crime is up, pickleball is taking over for some reason, and all of that is sending Democrats into full-on panic mode.”
He pointed to a campaign stop by Biden in, of all states, New York, where Governor Kathy Hochul is running an unexpectedly tight race against state congressman Lee Zeldin.
“That’s how bleak it is looking for Democrats right now: they’re scrambling to salvage a governor’s race in New York,” said Noah. “Which is crazy! New York is supposed to be a given for the Democrats. This is like having to beg your stalker to like one of your posts on Instagram – ‘Come on, man, my feet are in this one!’”
Stephen Colbert
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert also poked fun at Dr Oz, who urged fans on Saturday to “contact 10 people” on Sunday “before the Steelers game”.
“OK, one problem: the Steelers did not play on Sunday,” Colbert laughed. “Kind of important in Pennsylvania. That’s a big mistake. But then again, maybe he was just confusing the Steelers with his hometown team, the Newark … airports? The Jersey … turnpikes?”
Even more troubling for Oz was Oprah’s endorsement of his rival: “If I lived in Pennsylvania, I would’ve already cast my vote for John Fetterman for many reasons.”
“And one of those reasons is that Dr Oz also starts sentences with ‘if I lived in Pennsylvania’,” Colbert joked.
Colbert also touched on turbulent times for Twitter under new owner Elon Musk, who fired half of Twitter’s staff over the weekend. The Tesla CEO has also rolled out a plan to make up lost revenue by charging $8 a month for a blue checkmark. “Now that seems pretty steep for something that’s always been free, but it is a value,” Colbert said. “Not only would you get a blue checkmark, but it would verify that you’re dumb enough to give $8 to the richest man who’s ever lived.”
Seth Meyers
On Late Night, Seth Meyers warned that the real reason Republicans want power is to “rig future elections and install permanent one-party rule. And that’s not just me saying that. Republicans are saying that. They are saying it in public, out in the open for everyone to hear.”
He pointed to the Wisconsin gubernatorial candidate Tim Michels, who promised that Republicans “will never lose another election in Wisconsin after I’m elected governor”.
“That wasn’t even a secret confession caught on hidden camera at a private event,” Meyers marveled. “He said that at a public campaign stop. It used to be that when you caught politicians confessing to something this scandalous, it would be on grainy black-and-white footage on a hotel security camera. Now they just yell it into a microphone like Michael Buffer before a boxing match.”
The Nevada secretary of state candidate Jim Marchant, an election denier, also promised in a campaign event with Donald Trump that his election would be a step to “fix the whole country, and President Trump is gonna be president again in 2024!”
“Once again, they’re just admitting their plans to steal the 2024 election in advance,” Meyers said.
Jimmy Kimmel
And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel responded to a comment by Trump over the weekend that his show was “dead”.
“Our show is so dead, he’s going to bury it next to his ex-wife at one of his golf courses,” Kimmel joked. “You know what’s dead? All those endangered animals your chinless son shot. You know what’s dead? The look in your wife’s eyes when you beg her for sex on your birthday.”
During the same rally, Trump also took a shot at a potential Republican rival in 2024, Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis, by calling him “Ron DeSanctimonious”.
“He’s lost some speed on his nickname fastball, you know?” Kimmel said. “In the old days it would’ve been something like Smelly Ron and we would’ve all went with it.”
Kimmel was then interrupted by his wife Molly, who appeared with a literal alarm bell to urge people to vote for abortion rights, which are gone or in danger in 26 states. “The only person who should be making a potentially life-saving decision for a woman and her body is the woman herself,” she said. “I’m not out here with this dumb alarm asking you guys to love abortion. I’m asking you to love women enough, to trust women enough, to make their own difficult decisions. And to vote for the people to make that happen tomorrow.”
