‘Transphobic bullying is rife’: a 15-year-old trans boy’s view of coming out at school

‘My secondary school counsellor always said to me she’d deal with my bullies ‘by the book’, but that really meant she was worried about red flags for Ofsted rather than reassuring me that it wasn’t okay to abuse me just because I’m trans.’ Photograph: David Jones/PA

I was always very masculine when I was growing up telling my mum I didn’t want to wear dresses, but I didn’t have the words to explain what I felt until I was 11. That year I came out as a trans boy to my family, who were shocked and confused at first but gave me unwavering support.

A few months later I told my school, in a letter to my form teacher. The very first thing that happened was he went to the headteacher who immediately called my mum, asking her if she knew I was trans and if she was OK with it. I wasn’t included in the conversation at all.