When Nathan Keni had his first child six years ago, he followed what most tradies did. He burnt through his sick and carer's leave, then topped it up with annual leave, before going back to the tools after only a few weeks, telling himself, "It is what it is".
His experience reflected what data has shown about fathers' leave. A report from men's health advocacy group Movember found that almost one-third of Australian fathers did not take any parental leave at all.
Half relied entirely on employer schemes, which were far more common in big professional workplaces than in manual trades or small businesses, meaning that on paper, leave was possible, but in practice it often came with a steep financial hit.
Since having his first child, Mr Keni has become a father of three and he now says he can see what that trade-off cost him: time with his newborns.
"You don't know how you feel about your kids until you have your first one," Mr Keni said.
"Then you understand that deep sort of love you have for your kids. They're only so small for so long, and the more you work, the less you have that experience with your newborn."
Having spent more than a decade in construction, Mr Keni tried to carve out a little more time at home with each subsequent child. It meant taking leave at his own expense, averaging about three weeks per child.
When his first child was born, the official government payment for parental leave was about $500 a week and it was simply not enough for a young family with a mortgage and a new baby.
"It would have been better than nothing ... but in this economy, who can survive on sort of better than nothing?" Mr Keni said.
"Everything was going up except for the means people have to pay for them."
He said it was sad that young couples were put in a position where they had to choose between being financially stable or starting a family.
Fellow Canberra carpenter Matt Hilder had only just become a father. His daughter was three months old when he found himself facing the same dilemma: how to be present for the first weeks of his newborn's life without leaving his family and his workmates in the lurch.
Mr Hilder took two weeks of long-service leave rather than relying only on the government's parental leave payment.
His partner had undergone a caesarean section and needed more support at home, but the financial reality loomed. The government's minimum-wage payment did not even cover his mortgage, let alone the everyday bills, he said.
Mr Hilder said the process was not straightforward and could only begin after the baby was born. He felt the scheme was designed for corporate employees in large workplaces, not tradesmen.
"It's just an unnecessary pressure when you've already got so many other things going on," Mr Hilder said.
"It should be a time where you're just welcoming a new one into your life."
He said he never expected to feel such a strong pull to get back home each day, "being in a rush to get back home ... it's a crazy feeling."
That growing desire among fathers to be more present was slowly being reflected by the national data.
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While women still account for 80 per cent of all primary carer parental leave, the Workplace Gender Equality Agency's 2024-25 scorecard shows the proportion of men utilising the benefit has grown to 20 per cent, a gradual three-percentage-point increase year-on-year.
But the construction sector is lagging behind. The Movember report found fewer than one in two larger employers in the industry offered paid parental leave, compared to 88 per cent in the education and training sector.
Both Mr Keni and Mr Hilder said attitudes on the ground appeared to be shifting, with more tradies asking why they could not spend more time at home.
Mr Keni said he knew more fathers in construction who were able to access paid time off and the sector had "definitely gotten better".
The culture of small trade businesses added another layer of complexity.
Both men felt deeply supported by their immediate workplaces, which paradoxically made taking leave harder.
Mr Hilder said his boss was a close friend and his workmates were his "best mates".
"You don't want to leave anyone up the river, so to say, without a worker for a couple of weeks," he said.
On top of money and rules, Mr Keni believed awareness itself had been a barrier.
He said mothers ended up navigating the paperwork and leave entitlements in most families he knew, while fathers often did not know where to begin.
He recalled seeing "a million pamphlets" at the hospital for each of his three kids but nothing aimed at dads explaining how to access leave or take time off.
"I think that would be a good place to start," he said.
For Mr Hilder, the stakes felt deeply personal as well as practical.
Since becoming a father, he said raising a child was "the most rewarding, but also the most demanding job there is".
Both men wanted a system that recognised the contribution of both mothers and fathers and did not force the next generation of tradies to choose between their pay packet and the first weeks of their children's lives.
