When Tom Allen’s first memoir, No Shame, was published in 2020, he was 37, permanently single and living at home with his parents in Bromley. Two years on, circumstances have changed. Allen has a boyfriend and a house of his own, minutes away from the family home, but his dad died suddenly at the end of 2021. Too Much is his attempt to face that loss, come to terms with their imperfect relationship and learn how to be an adult now his much-loved role model is gone. Fans of his arch and cutting comedy might be surprised to find that the book is heartfelt, vulnerable and touchingly sincere.
Allen proceeds one snapshot at a time, each chapter opening with an aphorism from his dad. They include: “You can never have too much love”; “If you can’t improve on silence, keep your mouth shut”; “The world takes you at your own valuation”; and the baffling but catchy “It’s cold enough for a handbag”. Familial love glows from the page – not glibly, waving jazz hands, but gently and steadfastly, with each act of kindness and moment of exasperation. They show they care “by bickering senselessly over weatherproof cushions”. Bleeding radiators takes on a poignance that’s almost unbearable. This is the kind of parenting that doesn’t get written about in books.
