Tom Parker’s widow Kelsey has shared the “guilt” she feels over her husband’s death, despite knowing she did everything she could for the late singer.
The Wanted hitmaker died in last March at the age of 33, after a year-and-a-half long battle with stage four glioblastoma brain cancer.
In the sixth and final episode of her ITVBe documentary Kelsey Parker: Life After Tom, viewers watched as she revisited the hospice where Parker died.
The 32-year-old, who shares Aurelia, three, and two-year-old Bodhi with Parker, took his former bandmate Siva Kaneswaran along with her for support and the episode saw her discussing her grief in a therapy session.
During the session, Kelsey admitted it will take “years and years to get over” her guilt over being unable to stop her husband’s death.
Fighting back tears, the mother-of-two shared: “There’s still this guilt element, which I don’t think will go away overnight.
“It will take years and years to get over, the guilt that I wasn’t able to save him. But I know deep down in my heart that I did everything I could.”
When asked what she hoped for in the future, she said finding herself again after dedicating two years to nurse Parker following his diagnosis.
Kelsey added that she feels like she’s on a “massive journey to find out who I am, who is this person without Tom?” but the future is hard to envision amid her grief.
“Right now I want to get rid of the pain and feel happiness, but I know happiness is something I might not get now,” she continued.
“This is hard, this thing that I’m living with is never ending, it’s a never ending grief. Grief is just a strange, strange thing.”
Before Thursday’s episode, she warned her Instagram followers that the final instalment may be hard for some to watch as she discussed topics around death.
Alongside a teaser for the episode, she wrote: “Trigger Warning: End of life and death.
“Tonight’s the final episode of Life After Tom. This was a difficult one to film but a very important part of our story. It may be a difficult one for you to watch and I totally get it if it’s one you can’t watch right now.
“It was so special to go back to the hospice who cared for Tom and remember his final hours with @sivaofficial. I’ll always be so grateful to the hospice team for all they did for Tom, me and all our loved ones.
“Talking to others and hearing about their experience of grief is really important for me, it’s helped me understand that we’re all doing it differently and that’s ok.
“If you are able to watch tonight do tell me what you think, and as always thank you for all the support.”
