IT’S STUPID, THE ECONOMY
Many years ago, when Viz comic decided the time was right to redevelop its website, it put up a holding page which read, in its own inimitable style, SH!*E OLD WEBSITE *UC%£D. (Our censoring, obviously; Viz has a more liberal and grown-up policy on swearing than progressive broadsheet newspapers, company firewalls, Football Daily’s granny, etc.) We were reminded of that warning sign earlier when the IMF put up a very similarly worded notice regarding the current state of this country, prompting the likes of Rishi Sunak and Jacob Rees-Mogg to jig around in front of it insisting there was nothing to see here and that everything is OK. Sigh. Austerity, myopia and bellicosity have done a proper number on us all.
But! There is at least one little scrap of good news! Because the financial juggernaut that is the Premier League shows no sign of slowing down, much less contracting like our jiggered, dumb-patriotism-infused economy! That’s got to be a good thing, right? Eh? Mind you, this state of affairs is mainly down to one man spending money like a sailor on shore leave. More than £400m has already whistled out of Todd Boehly’s wallet at warp speed since he took over at Chelsea, and another £115m could follow before the closure of the January transfer window later on Tuesday, providing his people can get the Enzo Fernández deal over the line. Admittedly, all of Boehly’s beans will turn the wheels of the Portuguese economy, via the bank account of the Argentinian World Cup winner’s current club Benfica, but as Fernández would be spending at least some of his wages in London shops, that’s a cash injection the UK can’t afford to be snobby about right now. Quite frankly we’re grateful for anything.
Meanwhile, as Tesco starts boarding up most of the counters in their stores, creating an aesthetic that would make the window of a 1970s Warsaw bakery look like the display of a jeweller on the French Riviera, Chelsea are also planning to spend big on Moisés Caicedo … if they can persuade Brighton to let go of their young, all-action midfielder. In turn, this dual splurge has been the catalyst for Jorginho leaving the club for Arsenal, who are not short of a bob or two themselves, and are happy to pay £12m for the privilege of a mere 18-month bang on the Italian international. Will the mooted arrival of Fernández and Caciedo, coupled with Jorginho’s departure, have implications for Conor Gallagher, who is on Newcastle’s radar? To be frank, Football Daily has no idea, we’ll only know when the window slams shut come 11pm. In that sense, we have failed you, but at least our inane prattle and rank ineptitude hasn’t plunged us all into a crisis from which we’ll take at least three generations to recover, if at all.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
The deadline-day blog rolls along until past 11pm GMT, while Scott Murray is on deck for Milk Cup MBM coverage of Newcastle 2-1 Southampton (agg: 3-1).
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Policing has profoundly failed those bereaved by the Hillsborough disaster over many years and we are sorry that the service got it so wrong. Police failures were the main cause of the tragedy and have continued to blight the lives of family members ever since. When leadership was most needed, the bereaved were often treated insensitively and the response lacked coordination and oversight” – Martin Hewitt, chair of the National Police Chiefs’ Council, issues an official apology for the police failures that led to the unlawful killing of 97 people in the 1989 disaster, and for the “pain and suffering” experienced by the bereaved families for decades since.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
“Tony Riley’s missive of celebrity-laden Sunday football teams (yesterday’s Football Daily letters) reminded me of my time playing in the British music league. Upon graduating with a long-haired mature student from Hartlepool, I got a job in advertising, he (Janick Gers) got a job with Iron Maiden. We both played football together at college so he invited me to join a team with some of his bandmates and other notables, who included Paul Cook from the $ex Pistols (a cultured libero, as it turned out). We played a lot of the record companies and a right filthy bunch called ‘Camden Musicians’, but normally at a civilised kick-off time to allow for rock-star lifestyles and Tin Head. As my mother warned me, advertising was full of dilettantes and I only lasted 30 years. Jan, however, is still hammering the axe with Maiden to this day – although not sure if he is still playing football” – Greg Grimmer.
“Further to readers’ adventures with Rod Stewart (Football Daily letters passim), I interviewed him for Big Paper 10 years ago, and he was keen to discuss our respective sons’ footballing performances. I said my lad was a good passer and scored a startling number of long-range crackers, but he didn’t care for tracking back or tackling, and I had to keep warning him players get fed up of teammates who don’t go the work. ‘Oh, my boy’s the same,’ Rod sighed. ‘I’m always on at him about it: “You’ve got to track back, Sean!”’ He paused. ‘How old’s your boy?’ ‘Nine.’ ‘Oh, that’s all right! Mine’s 32!’ How can you not love him?” – Michael Hann.
“I’m a bit concerned about Graham Arnold’s flamin’ claims that he bleeds every time he puts on the shirt (yesterday’s News, Bits and Bobs, full email edition). Perhaps some fabric softener is in order?” – Phil Smith.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Greg Grimmer.
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