We know that being trans in our society isn’t easy. There’s the obvious, horrifying stuff that should outrage us all; violence, harassment, exclusion, and then there’s the harder-to-spot stuff; microaggressions, medical gatekeeping, pigeon-holing, other people’s pity, infantilisation, insatiable curiosity, othering, discomfort and invasive questions.
There’s the mental chatter too, the exhausting hypervigilance often required of trans people. If this group of people are discussing their childhoods, can I comfortably join in? If I tell this man what my film is about I’ll out myself, is that safe here? Can I attend the family BBQ? Have I been discussed before I arrived here? Can I safely book a physio appointment with a new practitioner? Is he staring at me? If I am celebrated for something publicly, will I also be attacked online?
All this amounts to one central, constant question, am I safe? The guessing can burn you out, harden you, make you withdraw.
Public campaigns like The Unsaid Says A Lot, launched by the Victorian Government today, are crucial in increasing awareness and fostering inclusivity. When I was asked to direct this campaign, I was thrilled it was happening and grateful to everyone behind it. I wanted to jump on board and add as much value to it as possible because I recognised that it could help better the daily lives of trans people.
I had ideas; guiding lights, I wanted to place audiences inside the point of view of the trans characters featured, celebrate the incredible talents of these actors and demonstrate how a seemingly minute interaction could significantly alter the course of a trans person’s day. I did not want audiences to condescendingly pity our trans characters or overly applaud our cis characters for demonstrating what I firmly believe to be common human decency.
Now, this last point is important to me. Because as much as I recognise the importance of campaigns like this, we shouldn’t need them. I rage at the idea that people need a government campaign to teach them to be decent to trans people. I don’t want to have to teach cis people empathy. I can’t understand how trans people could be so unrecognisable to some people as equal, multifaceted human beings that they need specific instruction.
This was the emotional rollercoaster I went on when I read this campaign brief. When I was (temporarily) done feeling furious, I sidestepped my pride and returned to the objective: if this can make the daily lives of trans people easier, it’s a great thing.
I’ve talked a lot about what’s hard about being trans. But it’s important to clarify, there is nothing hard about transness. As this campaign highlights, everything hard about being trans arises from the bias of others. You can make it hard, or you can recognise that it hurts no one, and make it easy. The power lies with you. It’s that simple.
I’m grateful for so much of my journey. I wasn’t able to take anything for granted. Nothing was a given. I had to engage in a constant reflective process of self-discovery, which I think is a pretty great way to live and a practice I intend to continue. I had to choose myself and what was truthful to me over and over, no matter how difficult, because there was no other viable choice.
Nowadays, I don’t want to lead with my being trans. I don’t think it’s the most interesting thing about me. My personal goal is that one day trans can be just one of a long list of uninteresting and benign descriptors potentially surrounding a complex, multidimensional human. But, we’re not there yet, so we have to keep talking about it and normalising being trans so that one day we might never have to talk about it again. So that one day we might be able to simply exist as we are.
For now, we need our allies. We need campaigns like this. While so much progress has been made we’re witnessing a horrifying tidal shift against trans people; bigotry and discrimination are being politically sanctioned. I beg you to pay attention. It affects us all. Any impediment to our freedom is a step towards the impediment of yours. Happily, the reverse is also true; freedom of self-expression benefits us all.
Harvey Zielinski is a prominent writer, director and actor, who also happens to be trans-masc. Harvey is one of six siblings from semi-rural WA. He has a string of credits but most recently featured in White Fever, and is currently rehearsing for the next run of Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf the Comedy Theatre alongside Kat Stewart.
[Image: Instagram/Harvey Zielinski]
The post To Be A Trans Person Is To Ask Yourself This One Question 24/7 — And It Can Burn You Out appeared first on PEDESTRIAN.TV .
