Nicky Wake lost her husband Andy in 2020 after 16 years of marriage, but rather than get wrapped up in self pity, she set out to help widows like her by creating a dating platform just for them. It comes after she tried other dating sites - and "had some fun dates", but was sent "inappropriate" photographs.
Now Nicky has created what she says is "much more than a dating app". She says 'Chapter 2' has become "a community” widows and widowers.
The 52-year-old met Andy, who died aged 57, in 2002 and they got hitched two years later and welcomed their son Finn in 2007. But in 2017, Andy starting suffering from chest pains and it was revealed he’d had a heart attack, she told the Mirror.
After treatment, he returned home, but four days later, he suffered another heart attack. Andy suffered a catastrophic brain injury and required around-the-clock care, then in 2020 he passed away.
Prior to Andy’s death, Nicky worked in events and he was head of press for Greater Manchester Police. She created her own events business and he helped her get it off the ground, which led to him quitting his career with the police to work with her full-time for the following 10 years.
Andy then took a step back and became the “world’s most devoted house husband,” said Nicky, of Bury, Greater Manchester. The mum-of-one was able to travel across the country delivering events, while he focused on writing a novel at home and raising their child – cooking every meal and doing every school run.
But when she returned home from a trip away in London with work in 2017, her blissful life imploded. He told her he’d been having chest pains.
“My blood ran cold,” she said. “I had a terrible feeling.
“He was a typical man and didn’t like to talk about health things, but I marched him to the doctors.”
They claimed he was suffering from stress, but Nicky was not convinced. She insisted he underwent an ECG – and doctors discovered he was experiencing a heart attack.
He recovered in hospital and was fitted with a stent. Nicky explained: “After about four days I took him home, thinking we’d got away with it, thinking everything was fine.”
But that night, he had another heart attack. While waiting for the ambulance to arrive, she performed CPR and although her efforts kept him alive, Andy’s brain was starved of oxygen and as a result, suffered a catastrophic brain injury.
What followed was three weeks of bedside agony, hoping for a miracle and after multiple resuscitation attempts, it became clear that Andy was unable to communicate or walk. He moved into a specialist brain injury unit at a residential home where he needed 24-hour care, leaving Nicky to pick up the pieces at home.
With his condition, Andy could sometimes be aggressive and often mistook Nicky for his mum. She was forced to make the heartbreaking decision to not let Finn see his father in that way.
Sometimes on a visit to the home, she would have a breakthrough moment with Andy, which happened on the last visit she had before his death. She said: “I got on the bed with him and we cuddled.
“It was gorgeous, so poignant, and that’s the memory I take away from it.”
In 2020, as Covid was making headlines, Andy contracted the virus and died. Nicky then had to adopt a new identity – she was a widow at 49.
Nicky and Finn welcomed a puppy into their home to help them overcome the huge void in their lives. And Nicky eventually started going on dates.
“Modern dating has moved on so much... Tinder is like the wild west out there,” she said. “I’ve used Tinder, Bumble, Hinge – I’ve had some fun dates, but been sent inappropriate photographs.
“It’s what made me think, ‘there had to be a better way’.”
Nicky had been attending events with support group – Widowed and Young – and learnt to embrace her new status. She explained: “I go to a lot of their social events and I’ve seen that widows instantly connect, there’s an emotional shorthand there.”
That deeper understanding sparked the idea of her next business, Chapter 2 – the UK’s first community and dating app for widows and widowers, set to launch in the UK on November 23. People can choose to use the platform to find love or companionship and friendship.
“It’s much more than a dating app; it’s a community,” Nicky said. “Chapter 2 means different things to different people.
“If I can help some people find joy again, which I was bereft of for five years, that would help me make sense of my loss almost. What I’m doing is trying to help people find joy again and realise that they can move into a different chapter, but still respect what’s gone before.”
The platform will act as a forum and community for widows, and alongside serving as a dating site, there will be features including a legal and financial support section, an emotional support section with articles on grief and bereavement, a section of solo parenting and how to navigate blended families and children’s grief.
“Nothing makes me happier than helping other people find joy, but if I can find the joy on the way, that would be lovely,” she concluded.
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