Tim Key: ‘I imagine Alan Partridge smells lightly of Brut aftershave’

‘Fig rolls are a fantastic biscuit. The best part is that you can kid yourself into thinking it’s healthy because it does have fruit in it’ … Tim Key. Photograph: Jonathan Birch

Your new film The Ballad Of Wallis Island scores an impressive 96% on Rotten Tomatoes. Who would you most like to hurl 96 rotten tomatoes at?

Do I have to hurl them at the same person, or can I split them? Can they be living or dead? Let’s take 40 to hurl at Hitler. I wouldn’t mind keeping 10 back just in case I need to hurl them at a random person. That leaves 46. How rotten are they? Maybe I’ll eat 10, which leaves 36. Is there anyone I can help you with?