I’m at the helm of a 15-foot rigid inflatable boat (Rib) in terrible weather: there are storm clouds approaching from the south-west and the wind is already gusting at 35 mph. Waves are breaking over the bow, dropping a bucketful of water into my lap each time. As I bear off to port, the boat lurches in the heavy swell, and someone at the starboard bow shouts, “Man overboard!”
I should also probably mention that I’m in a reservoir, between the M3 and Heathrow airport, less than 12 miles from my house. And also: the man that’s gone overboard is a buoy with a face drawn on it in permanent marker. I’m not here to save anybody; I’m here in pursuit of a Level 2 Powerboat Handling certificate.
