ANOTHER LENGTHY OUTRO
Thomas Tuchel will be handing in his Bayern Munich cap at the end of the season, joining the list of former Borussia Dortmund head coaches to wonder what their next move should be. Like Jürgen Klopp, Tuchel has a Big Cup winner’s medal in his back pocket but will be faced with a tough decision on what to do with his life. For someone with an array of trophies to point to on his Wikipedia page, it would seem he could walk into most jobs but failing to win the Bundesliga with Bayern is a colossal shame. They have lost three matches in a row; title rivals Bayer Leverkusen produced an impressive shoeing to grow the gap at the top, then Lazio put Bayern’s Big Cup hopes in doubt and the dreadful week was concluded with a miserable loss at Bochum.
A closer look at Tuchel’s career does throw up a few questions. He never won the league at Dortmund, winning Ligue Urrrrrn with PSG does not really count and at Chelsea he turned up mid-season and lifted Big Cup with someone else’s team before doing likewise with the Bundesliga at the Allianz Arena last season. He has access to a £100m striker - and Eric Choupo-Moting - and is being bested by a bloke in his first senior management job.
Fear not Herr Tuchel, there will always be clubs in crisis who need a manager with a solid pedigree and a willingness to wear a branded cap. Can I introduce you, Thomas, to West Ham United Football Club. They have a recent history of European success, which you will appreciate, and they have an English striker banging in the goals despite the rest of the team not living up to expectations. The further good news is that if he did move back to London, he could give the homeless Harry Kane statue of Chingford a place to nest in his garden and remind him of better/worse days.
There is a knock-on effect of Tuchel heading through the door marked “Do One”. It will lead to a managerial tug-of-war between Liverpool and Bayern for their former midfielder Xabi Alonso. Maybe they could do it fairly, with a toss of a coin and the other team is allowed to appoint a fellow legend who played for both. Dietmar Hamann is available, having last managed in 2011 during a disastrous spell in charge of Stockport. But that is irrelevant because he knows the clubs, which is far more important than experience. Whatever does come of you, Thomas, Football Daily does not, in any way, think you are just a [snip – Bad Word Ed] Tony Pulis. No siree Bob.
LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE
Join Barry Glendenning at 8pm (GMT) for Big Cup Round of Arsenal updates on Porto 0-3 Arsenal, while Scott Murray will be on hand at the same time with updates on Napoli 2-2 Barcelona in the Maradona derby. And if that isn’t already enough, Bryan Armen Graham will be all over Liverpool 3-0 Luton in the Premier League from 7.30pm.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I am a manager. My life is better than yours” – Pep Guardiola, there, giving off Kelis vibes as he puts down a hack who dared ask him what was wrong with being a journalist after Manchester City’s 1-0 win over Brentford.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
I read on the big website today that there is a publicly-funded statue of Harry Kane, gathering dust in a council storage facility, for the want of a permanent display location. May I suggest that the Bayern Munich museum would be a suitable location, utilising the space they had reserved for the trophies expected to be won during his stay” – Bernard Clark.
Can’t believe we’re in the Round of Arsenal and nobody’s used the phrase. How the traditions are forgotten eh? Bet you use it elsewhere in today’s missive (yep – Football Daily Ed)” – Andy Taylor.
So is this gonna be a new thing? Are we going to spend the summer wondering which sporting director is going to which club? I mean come on; by definition sporting directors don’t get to be that cool” – Karen As’adi.
Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Bernard Clark.
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