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The Mary Sue
The Mary Sue
Jenna Anderson

This Holiday Season, You Need to Listen to the Best Unhinged Christmas Song

Christmas is upon us, and everyone is celebrating with the traditions (and pieces of media) that are near and dear to their hearts: Muppet Christmas Carol, Mariah Carey’s holiday oeuvre, and beyond. I have one tradition, in particular, that I will never get tired of: subjecting other people to my favorite ridiculous Christmas song.

Titled “An Old Fashioned Christmas (Daddy’s Home)”, the song was recorded by Linda Bennett and released as one half of a 7-inch single in 1975. A lot of details around Bennett’s career are shrouded in mystery, outside of a few television appearances on variety shows and Christmas specials. But honestly, that mystery only elevates the experience of listening to the song itself.

“An Old Fashioned Christmas (Daddy’s Home)” opens with a mother, who is enthusiastically singing about her family’s preparations for the holiday season. She insists that, once her husband returns home on the bus he takes to and from work every day, everything will be perfect for them and their two children.

Suddenly, a news report diegetically breaks into the song, revealing that said bus got into an accident, after skidding on ice and running into a tree. The women’s two children then enter the song, and the three of them begin to sing (and increasingly panic) about their daddy’s fate.

I won’t spoil it too far from there, because the story has twists and turns that need to be heard to be believed. It is, most definitely, the only Christmas song that manages to work in the phrase “there were no survivors.” Certain line readings from it rattle around in my brain even beyond the holiday season, in part because of how dissonant they are with the song’s chipper melody.

What compelled Mercury Records to release “An Old Fashioned Christmas (Daddy’s Home)”, thinking that people would definitely buy the record? What made Bennett the perfect person to record it? Who plays the kids and the other characters in the song? These are questions we may never know the answers to, but nothing says “Christmas” to me like being able to ask them.

(featured image: Hallmark)

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