An expert has warned that one common pastime could be ruining your relationship, calling it the 'lowest form of intimacy'. But not everyone is convinced...
Navigating a relationship after having a baby can be difficult - not only have your priorities changed, you have a lot less time for yourself, and there's also matresence and post-partum hormones to deal with too.
But as time goes on, putting in the work can help you find ways to connect with your partner after your kids have gone to bed and like being with your partner again. But a life coach has revealed that one of the most common things couples do together could be harming your relationship.
Jay Shetty is an author and entrepreneur who left his life in London to spend three years as a monk, and has now become a well-known figure in the self-help space, having written books including Think Like a Monk and 8 Rules of Love. Appearing on Steven Bartlett's Diary Of A CEO podcast, he shared his view that watching TV with your partner is the 'lowest form of intimacy' and should be avoided, for the sake of your relationship.
He said, "Most of us only do one thing with our partners: watching TV. And that is the lowest form of intimacy that you could possibly ask for with any human being. If you and I watch TV together for 200 hours a year, we would potentially be no closer than we were before."
Jay went on to say, "I have this pyramid of intimacy, and entertainment is on the lowest rung of the ladder, but that is what the majority of couples are doing. So if we're only watching TV together, I promise you, that relationship is not growing.
"It is actually falling apart slowly, and you have no idea. I know it is a painful truth to accept."
And if that sounds bleak, research has found that one popular genre of TV in particular could be harming your love life.
However, Jay's followers were not convinced by his point. After the author posted a clip from the podcast on Instagram, users flooded to the comments to share an opposing view.
One user said, "Jay, that’s all a lot [of] people have the energy [and] time to do after working a couple of jobs [and] looking after the kids all day". Another agreed with this stance, writing, "Many couples are working multiple jobs & don’t get but a few moments to spend together, and if that’s watching a favourite TV show that brings a glimmer of happiness to them or their kids, It’s not the worst thing in the world."
Meanwhile, others shared the reasons why they enjoy watching TV with their partner. One said in the comments, "I love that my partner and I can zonk out on the couch together and enjoy mindless TV post-dinner, just comfy with the other’s presence there… sometimes that is its own form of intimacy and deepens a connection."
Another added, "My husband and I are always watching things together so we can debate the things that happen, offer our takes on it, talk about how it makes us feel in these situations."
Meanwhile, Jay's view did resonate with some followers, as one user said, "If ALL you do as a couple is watch TV then yeah I can see your point. It's about balance."
But if you and your partner enjoy watching your favourite show on the sofa together after a long day of parenting, then we're not judging. Raising children is a huge task and it's ok if you both want to switch off for a few hours in the evening. Remember there are many markers of a happy and successful relationship (not just how much TV you watch together) - trust, respect and shared values are all equally important.
For more relationship stories, one expert has revealed how a common habit could be key to improving your sex life, while a psychologist has shared how to stop your relationship from becoming ‘predictable and boring’. Elsewhere, here are five reasons why your partner might be picking fights for no reason.
