If we’re doing 2022’s highs and lows, let’s begin by staring bravely at the negative. “Terrible food, and such small portions” is the bane of the current restaurant scene. Never has so little been arranged so flamboyantly to fool the eye. Once upon a time, the word “anchovy”, “crumpet” or “prawn” on a menu meant that said ingredient was served in the plural. Now, however, you can expect a solitary anchovy draped across a slice of bread for £9, or a single prawn cut into three. See also pasta in 100g portions and “skewers”, which these days translates as a small piece of protein on a stick for £11. I smiled empathetically throughout 2022’s price hikes and portion shrinkages, until the other week at a gastropub in Lakeland, when my chicken parfait turned up with one Lilliputian crumpet not much wider than a £2 coin, for which they charged me nearly £15. At this point, I began to give off sparks.
But who wants to focus on the bad news? Here, instead, are some of the year’s experiences that I treasure, the places where I’d be delighted if someone wangled me a table. For example, The Plimsoll in Finsbury Park, which is the slightly chaotic yet priceless uncut gem of the London pub food scene, serving a gloriously sloppy burger, ricotta cheesecake and pints of Guinness. It is far from posh, though, so for high-class let’s take a goûter, or tasting menu, at Cédric Grolet at The Berkeley, where for a mere £120 a succession of handsome French staff deliver Grolet’s hallmark sugary trompe-l’œil to your lips: the vanilla flower, the hazelnut, the lemon and his take on a scone with jam.
If this all seems very That London, a trip to Cafe 52 in Aberdeen will soon ground us. The owner famously cannot stand Guardian readers, which made my solo lunch of Normandy chicken casserole followed by a crumpet bread-and-butter pudding all the more delicious. Also fabulous was Bassenthwaite Lake Station, close to Cockermouth in Cumbria, where the afternoon tea is incapacitating and served in a gorgeous replica French steam train. My family, who live close by, begged me to keep its sharing platters of local salami, baked brie and cumberland sauce a secret, but I couldn’t. Another example of wholesome, fairytale loveliness is Updown near Deal in Kent, where on warm summer days they served braised courgettes, fresh mozzarella and boozy rum baba in a spellbinding English country garden.
Back in London, three other restaurants I send everyone to are Tatale, The Baring and The Tamil Prince. At Akwasi Brenya-Mensa’s Tatale, order the omo tuo mashed rice dumpling in spicy nkatenkwan groundnut soup, because it will soothe your soul. If you can get into The Tamil Prince in Barnsbury – it’s just a small, one-roomed pub – order the whole menu, and two of the pulled beef uttapum, a spongey dosa the consistency of a Scotch pancake that comes with a glorious, spicy coconut chutney. The Baring meanwhile, also in Islington, is probably one of the capital’s openings of 2022, but it has been slightly overshadowed by several huge, soulless, heavily hyped Mayfair behemoths offering slapdash nonsense to the morally adrift. Even so, the Baring’s quail shish with garlic yoghurt and pul biber and its warm almond financier with cherries lift pub grub to a higher form.
That said, if you simply want to shove excellent food unthinkingly into your face, write the word “Miznon” on the back of your hand and rush to Soho for its “Deep Satisfaction” pitta stuffed with long-cooked brisket, melted cheddar, pickled chillies and gherkin. No one visits Miznon just the once. Return for the run-over potato dripping with butter and the rosehip syrup-drowned malabi pudding alone. For slightly more sophisticated fun, there’s also the Aussie hang-out Milk Beach, where the prawn toast is hefty and the coffee and banana negronis extremely one-moreish.
Let’s end with some of 2022’s best special-occasion meals. Tallow in Tunbridge Wells was faultless, with Donna and Rob Taylor’s new home fulfilling all my hopes, and feeding me a “chocolate and hazelnut brownie” masquerading as a plinth of rich mousse in a glistening pool of salted caramel and miso. Solstice in Newcastle was by far my longest tasting menu of the year, coming in at 18 plates plus extras, but Kenny and Abbie Atkinson’s charm and ingenuity make it an experience of delicious incarceration. And if you win EuroMillions over the holidays, celebrate with the full 13-course dinner at Amethyst in Mayfair, served on a table that might have come from the Starship Enterprise, where chef Carlo Scotto is redefining fancy dining while taking £250 out of your wallet if you order the wagyu plate and cheese course.
Finally, if there has to be one “winner winner Grace Dent’s dinner”, it has to be The Dog & Gun in Skelton, a country pub with an ancient heart serving a fancy menu without airs and graces. Take me back to its twice-baked torpenhow souffle with a liberal grating of black truffle. Yes, 2022 may have been stingy at times, but overall it was delicious, so here’s to more heartburn in 2023.
