If we’re doing 2022’s highs and lows, let’s begin by staring bravely at the negative. “Terrible food, and such small portions” is the bane of the current restaurant scene. Never has so little been arranged so flamboyantly to fool the eye. Once upon a time, the word “anchovy”, “crumpet” or “prawn” on a menu meant that said ingredient was served in the plural. Now, however, you can expect a solitary anchovy draped across a slice of bread for £9, or a single prawn cut into three. See also pasta in 100g portions and “skewers”, which these days translates as a small piece of protein on a stick for £11. I smiled empathetically throughout 2022’s price hikes and portion shrinkages, until the other week at a gastropub in Lakeland, when my chicken parfait turned up with one Lilliputian crumpet not much wider than a £2 coin, for which they charged me nearly £15. At this point, I began to give off sparks.
