Disappointing news today for those who blame feminism for the problems facing young men: research shows that challenging gender stereotypes and misogyny helps boys too.
A narrative has emerged over the last decade in popular culture and politics that portrays men and boys (particularly white, heterosexual ones) as in “crisis”, victimised by feminism and social justice movements, and now “left behind” or suffering so-called “reverse discrimination”. From the misogynistic memes that swirled around the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard trial, to the male MPs attempting to debunk the “bad press” men have been getting, to the description of #MeToo as a “witch-hunt” on flagship radio programmes, this argument has been steadily building up steam.
However, The State of UK Boys report released today by the Global Boyhood Initiative shows that, instead of being victimised by feminism, boys are facing an entirely different crisis. Violence and being “tough” is normalised as a natural part of being a man, which encourages boys to see violence (particularly male-on-male violence) as an inevitable part of growing up. The study, which comprised a literature review alongside interviews with experts, also found that these kinds of stereotypes are present from birth, with families, schools and peer groups all playing their part.
Of course the impact of this is immense, and reading about the boys in the report who justified male violence through notions of men’s possession and ownership of women goes some way to explain the shockingly high levels of sexual assault in schools. But these stereotypes also harm boys – look, for instance, at the under-reporting of violence and abuse against boys and men.
Instead of reinforcing these stereotypes, the report’s authors suggest, all children would benefit from a feminist approach to learning (something that will come as no surprise to many feminists, who have been arguing for this for decades). For example, boys would benefit from learning about the problems with gender stereotypes, and also from a destigmatisation of close friendships between boys, which are often discouraged by homophobic ideals of masculinity. Encouraging male friendships, the study finds, would provide opportunities for boys to learn reciprocity, empathy and intimacy.
The idea that white, working-class boys are neglected and “failing” is “both manufactured and actively misleading”, the report states. White boys are in fact less likely than Black Caribbean, Black African and Bangladeshi students to claim free school meals, and less likely to be excluded from school than Black Caribbean boys. White boys who do not receive free school meals get higher grades than some minoritised groups, too. With this in mind, it’s worth asking who benefits from peddling these misleading claims, and why? Perhaps it’s those who want to keep the status quo as it is.
For too long, we have been encouraged to view the challenges facing boys and men as entirely distinct from the needs of women and girls – and the heat on this argument has almost reached boiling point. Just a few months go, Harper’s Bazaar magazine ran an article headlined How Feminism Is Stifling Our Sons, and a book by academic Nina Power argued that men are under attack. This fear-mongering lie has been fuelled by the kind of online propaganda that’s spread by the likes of Andrew Tate, who has capitalised on the idea of male victimhood and racked up billions of views on TikTok, to “men’s rights activist” YouTube channels and Reddit forums. With half of 15- and 16-year-old boys estimating that they spend more than six hours a day on the internet, seeing this content can have a major impact on their lives and wellbeing.
Instead of feminism harming boys, the report has found that the opposite is true: challenging male violence and misogyny, encouraging different types of masculinity and seeing women as allies, all contribute to better mental health and educational attainment among boys. As Gary Barker, one of the authors of the report, and the CEO of Equimundo: Center for Masculinities and Social Justice puts it: “Boys need feminism and feminism needs boys on board.”
The old “boys don’t cry” narratives that say men shouldn’t be vulnerable about their feelings are part of the same system that portrays girls as “hormonal”, “hysterical” and unsuited to particular career paths. It may sound old-fashioned, but with Tate and his ilk saying that women should “shut the f**k up, have kids, sit at home, be quiet and make coffee”, it is terrifyingly present again. Recognising this does not mean undermining or ignoring boys’ needs, but finding ways to meet them. Our boys deserve better than to be used as a shield for anti-feminist provocateurs with more interest in stoking “culture wars” than actually helping them.
Laura Bates is the founder of the Everyday Sexism Project and author of Men Who Hate Women
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