Whatever you’ve heard about Red One, it’s probably true. Is it the latest casualty in Hollywood’s quest to Marvel-ize any straightforward story it comes across? Yes. Is it overstuffed with self-serious Christmas lore and an abundance of yolked, stone-faced protagonists? Definitely. But it’s also, maybe, not as irredeemable as some might have you believe.
Sure, Red One is every bit the empty star vehicle that we’ve come to expect from Dwayne Johnson. It feels like the total sum of the actor-entrepeneur’s career choices, combining the tone of his better action films with the whimsy of a deeper cut like The Tooth Fairy. That makes for a film that’s not quite sure what it wants to be: An edgy movie for kids? A kids’ movie for adults? It’s anyone’s guess, but Johnson’s squeaky-clean schtick doesn’t entirely smother the film’s ambitions. It doesn’t boost its charm either, but still, maybe a middling Christmas comedy is a bit better than an outright trainwreck — especially in times such as these.
We’re living in a world that seems overrun with insufferable people. Empathy is at an all-time low, and few seem to care about anything that doesn’t affect them directly. No one understands that better than Callum Drift (Johnson), the no-nonsense head of one of the most clandestine security teams ever made. He’s essentially a personal bodyguard to Santa Claus (played with surprising commitment by J.K. Simmons), and he and his team at E.L.F. (a cutesy acronym for Enforcement, Logistics, and Fortification) take their jobs just as seriously as you’d think. Keeping Christmas alive for kids and adults all over the world is intense, brain-breaking work — and it’s not any easier with the line between naughty and nice getting blurrier by the day.
It’s for this reason that Callum has chosen to retire from Santa’s personal security detail. Despite serving him faithfully for hundreds of years (Callum is immortal, but it’s not clear whether he’s actually an elf or some other mythical humanoid), he’s lost faith in Saint Nick, and in humanity at large. More people are breaking bad by the day; Santa’s “naughty list” apparently grows by 20% each year. It doesn’t help that Santa refuses to punish any of the vagrants who land on the naughty list. His inaction has made him a target of other, less tolerant magical figures — and just a few days before Christmas, his most powerful enemy decides to take matters into her own hands.
In a sequence that feels like a splice between The Christmas Chronicles and Olympus Has Fallen, the North Pole is attacked by the vengeful Christmas witch, Grýla (Kiernan Shipka), and a group of gruff black ops mercenaries. Callum does what he can to prevent Santa’s capture, but when the dust settles, “Red One” is MIA. So Callum has no choice but to put his retirement on hold and team up with Zoe Harlow (Lucy Liu), the head of the magical organization M.O.R.A., to find the culprit. Their search ultimately brings them to Jack “The Wolf” O’Malley (Chris Evans), the high-profile hacker who provided Santa’s whereabouts to Grýla.
Given his exceptional skills — and despite his general douchebaggery — Jack’s recruited to rescue Santa alongside Callum. As with so many Dwayne Johnson Vehicles, the duo don’t start off as bosom buddies. Jack is the Grinch to Callum’s stalwart commando: the former literally steals candy from babies while the latter has dedicated his life to Christmas cheer. It’s admittedly a fun odd-couple pairing, as Evans’ smarmy charm buoys Johnson’s dour urgency where it matters the most.
As the archetypal nonbeliever, he’s in a thankless role, forced to churn out one incredulous reaction after the next as their adventure veers into the fantastical. But things do settle into a kind-of groove as Red One introduces more colorful characters and worlds. Nick Kroll supplies a hilarious diversion in an extended cameo, while Game of Thrones alum Kristofer Hivju channels Tim Curry in Legend to play twisted party games with Callum.
As Santa’s demonic brother, Krampus, Hivju is the highlight of Red One — and it’s not only because he’s so clearly designed to appeal to the monster lovers out there. The practical effects used to bring the character to life feel like the perfect tribute to Christmas films of old, and a glimpse of what this film could have been.
Red One has glimmers of originality, but too often is it sampling from better films. There are nods to cult Christmas classics like The Santa Clause and the animated Rise of the Guardians, and attempts to build a world in the same vein as something like Hellboy. Though it skips across the globe and boasts a budget that would make even Marvel blush, it suffers from a major identity crisis. Director Jake Kasdan (a frequent collaborator of Johnson’s, who directed pulpy indies before Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle) may not be the best fit for an earnest holiday comedy, nor is Fast & Furious scribe Chris Morgan capable of balancing two very different genres here.
Red One is very good at combining disparate, familiar ingredients — but just like the adult-centric Christmas films that precede it, it lacks an element of synergy. That may not totally damn the project: audiences are so starved for an earnest holiday film, Red One could feasibly make bank. It’s not the Christmas movie we wanted, but until Hollywood stops trying to remix the superhero film in a fresh package, perhaps it’s the one we deserve.
