Laura McAllister wears many, many hats, the most famous of which is now a rainbow bucket hat. She’s a former professional footballer who has what is, I’d wager, a unique mix of being someone equally encyclopaedic in their knowledge of football and politics, particularly if you ask her about Wales.
If you’ve engaged with either of those topics over the years you’ll have definitely seen her as a media pundit, and read her words on this website. If you’re a football fan you’ve probably also seen her on a Wales away trip, or at the Cardiff City stadium cheering on club or country.
The former captain of her country is a respected academic, pundit and in demand panellist on either topic (as well as many others), she is a besotted mum to two girls, a partner to Llinos, friend, devoted sports fan. She also now sits on the UEFA Executive Committee, the first time that a representative from Wales has been elected to a position on European football’s governing body and was subsequently appointed as a Uefa vice president. For my own two pennies' worth, she is one of those people who, no matter how busy, or where in the world she is, is incredibly generous with her time and, something which is pretty rare in either of her specialist fields, takes a genuine interest in you.
And yet none of these are the reasons she appears top of this year’s Pinc List. That all goes back to a night in Qatar in November.
Few were more delighted to see Wales qualify for a World Cup, but along with other fans the location of the tournament raised questions beyond where to fly to and how many shirts to pack, but really deep, searching questions about the morality of the destination that had been chosen and whether fans should attend or boycott. The regime there has an appalling record on human rights generally, but particularly pertinent to Laura, women’s and LGBT rights.
But, having gone, somehow the self-professed introvert found herself at the centre of an international media storm all because of a fabric hat.
The fans I know went through different thought processes about whether to go to Qatar. For some it was a historic, possibly once in a lifetime occasion they wouldn’t miss. Some said they wouldn’t countenance showing any support to a tournament in the country, and some that the regime didn’t matter, it was just football.
"It definitely matters and it would be crazy to suggest it, the conflict, doesn't go through your mind because obviously it's an abhorrent regime in terms of its policy on gay people and LGBT rights, on human rights, women's rights, it keeps going, so you'd have to be pretty unethical to suggest that you don't consider that in any shape or form. So obviously, I did think it through but you know, in many respects it wasn't a case of saying 'I'm going to go because it's Wales's first World Cup for 64 years', it was more a question of weighing up the pluses and minuses of going and not going," Laura said.
She did, she says, get a chance to speak about the concerns about human rights, and raise those directly as well as meet Qatari's to hear their side of the arguments. "There were plenty of opportunities to discuss some of our political concerns. I guess if you're being critical, you could say 'who were we discussing it with?'"
"I was there in a work capacity either with Uefa, the FAW, the Welsh Government, or as it happens all of those, who therefore I think when it moves into the professional arena, the choice is a little bit easier. I think if I had been going just as a fan, I think that decision would have been tougher."
Laura had been working as an ambassador at various events, but attended the Wales v USA game purely as a fan with the friends she regularly attends games with. Having made it through the outer cordon, as she arrived at the entry gate, the queue was snaking back. Word began to reach her part of the queue that people were having rainbow items confiscated.
"Somebody passed the message down, they’re being quite heavy handed and taking the hats off you".
Stood with Aled Lewis, head of grassroots football for the FAW, who was also wearing a rainbow hat, the pair discussed what they’d do. He said: "'Are you going to take yours off?’ and I said ‘no’ and he said the same but we agreed to wait and see what happened."
As Laura went through the security guard didn’t seem to react but then pointed at her hat saying "no". Telling her in broken English that only team colours were allowed, Laura stood her ground asking the reason. A supervisor was called over and he gave her two options, one to throw the hat in the bin or to leave the ground. Again she refused.
By now the emotions were flowing. "It was upset, stress, anger, frustration. I wanted to go in and meet other people and see Wales’ biggest game in football history, at that point, so I was determined to stay calm but by now a lot of people were gathered round and I think they could see it being filmed as well." He was trying to develop some consensus, she believes. When she explicitly asked him whether it was because it was a rainbow hat, he declined to answer.
Seeing no resolution, she says she thought "bugger them" and headed over to the concourse. "I was pretty sure they weren't watching me so I just took my hat off and stuck it down the back of my jeans."
She was allowed in and went into the stadium and met her friends, many allies or Rainbow Wall members themselves. Some had had their rainbow merchandise taken from them, others had got it into the ground. Laura had stood her ground and pulled the hat out, proudly wearing it.
But as our Pinc List panel discussed her actions, one described it as a piece of "old school activism". It is even braver when you don’t know the repercussions it could have. It could have been physical, she wasn’t prepared to leave, her liberty could have been at risk, but it could have ended a long-held dream.
It could have been physical, it could have put her liberty at risk, but it also could have ended her hopes of finally getting a place she’d long coveted at Uefa’s top table given the spotlight she shone on one of the more unsavoury aspects of the World Cup.
For many of us who knew her and knew how hard she’d campaigned and how much she wanted a place at that table, it felt exceptionally brave.
"It would have been pretty cynical to think ‘I'm not going to stick up for a basic principle based on my potential to be elected to Uefa’. I honestly didn’t think of it."
It happened that an ITN crew saw the incident and asked to interview her, which she did. "With the benefit of hindsight, if I'd had more time I might have just not bothered to do anything for that moment but it’s hard when you’ve a camera and mic in your face and you’re obviously upset about what happened".
Putting her phone on silent, she watched the game in peace, but by the time she left the stadium it had erupted.
"I genuinely didn't think that it was such a big stand as lots of people have interpreted it and I'm not just being modest about that. I just thought for me I was never going to really take it off without protest because what would be the point of doing what we said we were going to do about Qatar and living our values and representing people who didn't feel they could come if the first time anyone challenged you you back down. It wasn't as if somebody was literally holding a gun to my head, or threatening me physically. I thought it was a big fuss for something which was a relatively small gesture but obviously it was emblematic of everything that's going on".
She spoke to Noel Mooney, the FAW’s chief executive that night. "I had a drink with Noel after the game back at the hotel and I don't think either of us realised how big it would become. We both just went ‘We've had a chance to live our lives, live our principles'. He was entirely supportive. We both said the sort of things you'd expect over a beer and then didn't think any more of it. And then of course it all blew up. So then we had like 48 hours of just mad media".
For her, it really felt like a tiny thing to do and something that was totally non-negotiable. However, she says she is "very conscious" she has a role to play in highlighting the ongoing issues around equality. "We’re people who live in a metropolitan city who are relatively affluent and educated, but I know from growing up in Bridgend there's still loads of young kids there who can't come out to their parents, across the whole of Wales and I think we do have a responsibility, those of us who are in much easier situations to think about them.
"I'm an optimist and I'm very much glass half full, I think things will get progressively better. But there's always a new battle to fight. There's the trans issue now that’s really complex and difficult, there’s the issues of male sports people coming out, which is so different to women's sports people. Women's sports have to be political, because it's been a battle all the way through our lives.
"I think we've got to be vigilant and that's why it's so important to keep this issue on the agenda because there will be other battles ahead, and who knows whether there'll be a backlash. Look at Trump in the States and his attitudes to identity. We could have something similar in populism. There was an Italian prime minister who wanted to stop gay people adopting. We're only ever one political decision away from regressive policies.
"I'm an introvert by nature. So it's not like I put myself out there because I like it, but if you want to be influential in sport, or politics or academia or anything, you've got to be willing to speak out and take responsibility for things that you feel strongly about. So it's a privilege as well, because if you've got that profile or authority, then why wouldn't you want to use it for things you believe in?"
Looking back, the interest in the bucket hat did eventually overshadow the other things she was there to talk about, like women’s sport and women’s rights. They’re two areas she has seen huge growth, but so far still to go.
I’ll never forget sitting next to her at an awards event where, long before the current boom, she calmly, and with no judgement or anger, put a man who shall remain nameless but should have known better, in his place about his preconceptions about women’s sport.
A player herself, she would turn out for a home game in front of around 200 fans. Now, the FAW can boast thousands of fans buying tickets for the women’s team and a huge buzz around the game.
"It is the struggle that makes those sportswomen political. With Jess [Fishlock] I’ve known her since she was eight when she came to Cardiff City, but every step of the way she's had to struggle for what she's got. It's only the last four or five years Jess has been a professional athlete, treated like a male professional athlete. She’s one of the best players Wales has ever produced when you compare her with Gareth Bale and the ease with which he’s progressed through his career and being a pro at 16. Nobody is resenting that, but through his career, you know, being a pro at 16 anyway, and nobody's resenting that by the way, it just should have been the case for Jess.”
In my years of being involved in this list, I think she’s also been the person most thrilled to be told she’d won.
"I appreciate it. It was an incident and I was able to articulate what was important to us around that but I think for every incident like that there's the people who were working in communities day in and day out doing things that are important for people's lives and that's much more important, but that's why I'm kind of surprised. Of course, I'm happy and very proud, it's really, really important and a great honour but when it comes to the LGBT world, I feel my contribution is pretty small, because if I'm completely honest it's not a dominant part of my identity. If you ask me about being Welsh, which is a really fundamental part of my identity, and I think the same with feminism, being a woman and being Welsh, they’re the ones if I’m asked to define myself that’s what I’d say. I know for some people, because I've got lots of friends who would say this, that being gay is the most important thing in their identity. So in a way, I feel a bit of a fraud because it's not for me, but I feel I'm campaigning for them as well,” she said.
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