The Question
Why are men so bad at sexting?
Talking Points
- Macron picked his next fight over pension reforms
- Giorgia Meloni ascended to cheers and disgust
- Iran's morality police made themselves scarce after riots
- Japan laid Shinzo Abe to rest (to much commotion)
- 66 pilgrims died when their ferry capsized in Bangladesh
- Typhoon Noru slammed into southeast Asia
- Hurricane Ian left a trail of destruction in its wake
- Wall Street banks were heavily fined for texting
- American extreme skier Hilaree Nelson died in Nepal
- NASA successfully crashed a probe into an asteroid
Deep Dive
Honest and timely feedback is crucial when someone is starting a new role. This is true of any organisation: No. 10 Downing Street included . It's been 24 days since the investiture of Liz Truss as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. How's she doing?
Truss issues
Keeping in mind that correlation does not imply causation, one of Truss's first duties as prime minister was an audience with Queen Elizabeth II, who promptly died. This ushered in the salad days of the Truss premiership: a fortnight of speeches, fancy parades, and bruise-free appearances with an obliging media. But scarcely had the late-Queen been interred in Windsor Castle than Truss was again the object of scrutiny. This could be perceived as a problematic pattern by Britain's new PM — she might conclude her purple patch won't repeat unless the new King also drops off the perch.
Now where were we? Last Friday, Truss was in the House of Commons to hear her newly minted Chancellor, Kwasi Kwarteng, describe his "mini-budget". It turns out, the only element of the Government Growth Plan that could be described as mini, is the proposed end state of Britain's public service and tax coffers. The headline figure was a £45bn tax cut, to be most generously directed towards those earning over £150,000. Great news for 321,000 Britons. Less great for the other 67 million. A mooted corporate tax hike was canned. The government take from stamp duty was to be slashed. And the plan to lower the tax rate for Britain's bottom-bracket from 20% to 19%, was brought forward a year. Another element, the abolishment of caps on bankers' bonuses, was narrowcast directly to the City.
The giant hole Kwarteng blasted right in the Exchequer's revenue regions, was to be offset by £400bn in extra borrowing. At first blush, you might think that a bad idea. But further analysis will reveal that it's actually a profoundly stupid and dangerously bad idea . Not without reason, the wet-blankets at the Office of Budget Responsibility were instructed not to release their analysis of the mini-budget. It would undoubtedly be embarrassing. Britain's welfare net is already more hole than net, and the public service is held together with sticky tape and the goodwill of some very tired nurses.
Gilt-complex
So, how was the mini-budget received? Not well. For one, the card-carrying Bolshies at the International Monetary Fund don't "recommend large and untargeted fiscal packages at this juncture" as they would "likely increase inequality". To which Truss and Kwarteng may well have responded, "It's not a bug, it's a feature". Financial markets bucked wildly over the weekend. On Monday, the pound, which had been declining steadily against the USD since mid-2021, cratered to a brief low of $1.04. There remains a hideous possibility that the pound sterling could hit parity (or even worse) with its rebellious former colony.
The gilt market — a suitably silly name for bonds issued by a former Empire — saw a spike in yields. Who suffered? Pension funds (which hold trillions of pounds of Britons' life savings). The funds were heavily exposed to this asset class, and began getting crunched by margin calls. The violent movement in this nominally safe asset made a mockery of the "collateral buffers" of pension funds. And all of a sudden, Britain faced an existential crisis: pension funds going under.
On Wednesday, the Bank of England saw "material risk to UK financial stability" and swung into action to prevent what was tastefully described as a "doom loop". It would buy £65bn in government bonds over 13 days, to stabilise prices. This action delayed a crash in the gilt markets but rot is still spreading. Millions of Britons are facing soaring (read: doubling) mortgage prices, as banks experience their own spasms. And it was at this point that Truss was clean-bowled on a radio appearance during the week. When presented with the fact that any energy bill relief (from government borrowing) would be more than offset by soaring mortgages, Truss was speechless. The Middle stump was seen cartwheeling off in the distance.
One caller on BBC Radio Leeds had this to say, "I would like to ask the prime minister, when will I ever feel hope again?"
Raymond Shaw is the kindest, warmest, bravest...
Two weeks ago, during Truss's halcyon days, a broad poll put her 13 points behind Labour's Keir Starmer. This week, the same poll put her 33 points behind him. If an election were held today, the Tories would barely keep the shirts on their backs. Is this the result of pure incompetence? Or is there something else at play here? Truss was raised in a family that was proudly "left of Labour". She got quite a bit of flak for cos-playing as a Tory earlier in the year. But what if it was all just a costume? Liz Truss may well be the Manchurian candidate here to accelerate the demise of British conservatism. The alternative is even more depressing.
Worldlywise
Election watch
Well, as the polls all predicted, Giorgia Meloni's far-right coalition swept into power last week. Buona fortuna to her. This week we're off on another plane (when my baby smiles at me we go Ri-o). This weekend Brazilians will step into the ballot box to select their next Presidente. It's a battle of heavyweights.
The incumbent, Jair Bolsonaro, really shouldn't need an intro but we'll give him one anyway. He's the beloved son of the country's ballooning evangelical population, an ex-army captain who's given more than a nod and a wink to Brazil's old junta, and a seemingly immortal being (in recent years he's survived a stabbing and contracted Covid about thirty times). Bolsonaro is known globally for his gaffes and Trumpian tendencies: whipping supporters into a frenzy on social media, delegitimising the mainstream press, and seeding conspiracies about a stolen election. At home he's feted in many parts of the country for his aggressively pro-business, pro-free market, privatise-everything-that-isn't-bolted-down trappings. Much more of the Amazon has been opened up (read: torched) for agricultural growth.
His opponent is Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva. Just 'Lula' will suffice. He's occupied both the presidential palace and a jail cell so far this century. Lula's reign from 2003-2010 were the glory days of post-junta Brazil. The country's fortunes rose sharply on the back of booming commodity prices (thank you, China) and Lula's PT (Workers) Party spent lavishly on social development. The middle class grew and millions were lifted out of poverty. His constituents are the millions at the bottom of Brazil's economy. But it all fell apart for him after that. His hand-picked successor was impeached (in what looks very much like a judicial coup in hindsight) and Lula himself landed in the dock on corruption charges. It turns out that during the good old days, everyone was lining their pockets with Petrobras cash. Lula spent 580 days in the slammer before his charges were annulled on account of judicial bias. Uh-huh.
Will Lula's nostalgia-heavy campaign work? A 13-point lead looks pretty handy from where we're sitting — Lula is on track to win the first round of the election outright. But star-power aside, Brazil's meagre growth rate is expected to fall back to 1% next year because of the global economy being in the toilet and all. Right now, the pressing issue is quality of life: millions of Brazilians are going hungry in one of the world's largest food-exporting economies.
Bubble trouble
It's with no small amount of distress that we're going to have to update our instructions for conflict in Europe. A few months ago we issued fairly straight guidance: please don't bomb the nuclear power station. Admittedly adherence to this common-sense rule has been lax. This rule must now be broadened: please don't bomb major energy infrastructure.
This week, a series of underwater explosions hit the Nord Stream 1 and 2 pipelines in the Baltic Sea. These arterial energy connections transport natural gas from the Russian export terminals at Vyborg and Ust-Luga to Germany. Now, there are two leaks on the Swedish side, and two near the Danish island of Bornhom. It's a chilling development for Western Europe as a costly winter nears. And, for once, NATO and Russia appear to be singing from the same hymn book: both parties have declared it to be sabotage. Although it should be noted that Vladimir Putin's attempts to find the culprit were vividly reminiscent of this Tim Robinson sketch in I Think You Should Leave.
Leaving aside the energy politics, we should pause on what four leaks in major natural gas pipelines means for the rest of us. Right now great plumes of methane are bubbling up to the surface. It's estimated that somewhere between 50% and 100% of the methane in the pipes will seep out. As we well know, methane has 82.5 times the warming potential of carbon dioxide. This is believed to be the largest single limited-duration methane leak in history. And the operators have only just begun to assess the damage — there is no timeline for plugging the holes.
The Best Of Times
A normal childhood
Queen Margrethe of Denmark has stripped four of her eight grandchildren of their official titles. This isn't a palace coup: it's an act of great charity . Being born into a royal family is not normal and it makes people a little gaga. By culling the succession line, the Queen is giving the gift of normality. If only this could be extended to every royal family, forever.
The time is now
Four days' work for five days' pay is an idea whose time has come. The benefits to productivity alone make it a no-brainer, let alone morale and satisfaction. But one curious tidbit has emerged from studies of those trying the new model: those working 32-hour weeks sleep on average one hour longer than those working 40 hours. Given how intrinsically tied health is to quality sleep, this is just the cherry on top. If your boss isn't considering it, they are leaving money (and happiness, and health) on the table. (Editor's note: Uh-huh. Nice try, Tom.)
The Worst Of Times
Punching bags
Iran has done what all regional powers do when faced with a wave of internal discontent: bomb Kurds. The Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp sent a salvo of missiles into Iraqi Kurdistan this week. Mahsa Amini, whose death sparked the protests, was an Iranian Kurd. It's a pathetic act of retaliation.
Check, not mates
World chess champion Magnus Carlsen publicly accused the teen prodigy Hans Niemann of cheating this week. It's an extraordinary claim, and one that has not been particularly well evidenced. Reputations could be forever tainted by it, and a clear resolution may not eventuate. If only there was some kind of non-violent duel to work out a winner...
Highlights
The Image
South Florida after Hurricane Ian. The effects of the category 4 storm were felt profoundly on the western cape. A decade-long boom of cheap(er) construction along the 'safer' side of the peninsula was deleted over the course of a single day. Photo supplied by AP.
The Quote
"I have rich cars, play golf, and fondle big-breasted women, but I take weekends and major holidays off."
– Apple's vice president of procurement Tony Blevins illustrated his rich inner life in an ill-advised TikTok video this week. Mangled movie reference or not, it's a ludicrous thing to utter out loud and needless to say Blevins has been given the boot. How is it possible that in the year 2022 senior executives at the world's largest companies still need to be reminded to: log-off social media, shut up, don't say anything stupid online, zip it, etc.
The Numbers
2 hours, 1 minute, 9 seconds
- Kenya's Eliud Kipchoge smoked the world record by thirty seconds at the Berlin marathon. No hard feelings for the former record holder (Kipchoge, Berlin, 2018). He's now working his way towards an unthinkable goal: covering 42.195 kilometres in under two hours - in a major event. Kipchoge is the superlative runner — arguably the greatest marathoner since Pheidippides was given a fairly tall order on September 10, 490BCE.
A €9,400,000,000 mid-life crisis
- With all of one day's data we can safely say that the decision to take Porsche public was a ripper. Volkswagen AG set the IPO at €82.50 — right at the top of its range — and was handsomely rewarded. Porsche shares traded at €85.68 at the close of day one. That equates to a cool €9bn for the parent company.
The Headlines
"Something Strange Happens When You Tear These Creatures Apart" — The Atlantic . Great first week on the job for The Atlantic's new columnist: Jeffrey Dahmer's ghost.
"TikTok influencers and tourists under fire for ignoring Florida evacuation orders and boasting about it online" — The Independent. No comment.
The Special Mention
Big ups to the Danish football team and the manufacturer of its World Cup kit. Local brand Hummel have produced three crestless variants that are either wholly red, white, or black. It is a "protest against Qatar and its human rights record.That's why we've toned down the details... We don't wish to be visible during a tournament that has cost thousands of people their lives". Good gear.
The Best Long Reads
- Foreign Policy asks a question in, and of, English
- Businessweek hawks condos with Frank Gehry
- The Atlantic deals with a shallow relationship
The Answer...
Poor communication skills around intimacy. Sure, we are only getting the lowlights (Adam Levine, Jeff Bezos, Anthony Weiner, etc) but there is a mangled childishness around a language that is at once obsessed with, and fearful of, taboo. Fellas, it's normal and cool to have sex — talking about your likes and dislikes a little more might just free you from strangely depersonalised, technical verbiage.
