BDSM, FinDom, cuckolding, piss play — the world of kinks and fetishes is as varied as human sexuality. Maybe you’re a seasoned pro at sex parties, or maybe you have an urge to explore a foot fetish or sploshing play. Either way, you’ve come to the right place, because we’ve rounded up 69 — yes, 69 — kinks and fetishes you need to know about. Or at least, want to know about. After all, you’re reading this list of kinks and fetishes, aren’t you?
I think we can all admit that learning about sex in all its shapes, colours and flavours is inherently interesting. So, allow me — and a bunch of experts — to share 69 kinks and fetishes that might not fit into the mainstream to help continue your sex education. Because, well, we all know that sex-ed in the school system leaves something to be desired.
And I swear to god if I see anyone yucking any yums in the comments I’ll be very, very disappointed!!!!
Table Of Contents
- What are kinks?
- What is a fetish?
- The ultimate list of 69 kinks and fetishes
- Safe exploration of kinks & fetishes
- FAQ about kinks & Fetishes
What’s the difference between a kink and a fetish?
Before we get into the big specifically numbered list, let’s go over what the difference between a kink and fetish is because while these terms are often used interchangeably, they are technically a lil’ bit different.
Sexologist Bonnie Bentley defines a kink as “a sexual desire of behaviour that is considered to be unconventional.”
“Kinks often involve the consensual use of power dynamics, physical restraint, and/or pain,” Bonnie explains.
“By contrast, a fetish is an intense and persistent sexual interest in anything other than genital stimulation, or the fondling leading up to genital stimulation.
“For some people, fetishes are a deep and abiding, and possibly even necessary, element of sexual arousal and activity. I once heard, ‘a kink is something you like, and a fetish is something you need’ and while this isn’t always true, I think this just about captures the essence of the difference between the two.”
Ultimate List Of Kinks & Fetishes
1. Age Play
Age play is when two consensual partners roleplay being a different age to what they really are. Most often, this involves a power dynamic between an older and younger person. For example, one person could roleplay as a baby while the other person takes care of them as if they were their parent.
“The idea here would be that both, or one, party gets aroused by the idea of being nurtured or giving nurturance,” says Laura Miano — a Melbourne-based sex therapist and the founder of the sex toy store Posmo.
There are many reasons why someone might be attracted to this kind of play: escapism, humiliation, or simply enjoying the taboo nature of the play.
2. Daddy Dom / Little Girl
Daddy Dom / Little girl — also known as DD/lg — is a common form of age play. As the name suggests, it involves one partner taking on the role of the older father figure, and another as a little girl or adolescent child.
According to Laura Miano, DDlg and age play can fall into the BDSM category — but not always.
“BDSM is an umbrella term and while technically, age play and DD/Lg could slide into BSDM territory, it doesn’t have to,” she says.
“You could call these BDSM if they explore bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism or masochism. There are so many possibilities in the kink world, therefore each experience can be super nuanced.
“For example, if someone is age playing as a baby and their partner is age playing as the parent, the baby might be demanding that the parent gets them a blanket and a bottle and kisses their forehead. In this case, you could say it’s tapping into BDSM because the baby is being dominant. But in a similar situation where both parties are sharing the control, it may not fall under BDSM!”
3. Abrasion
An abrasion kink is when people get sexual arousal from being in contact with abrasive surfaces, using scratchy things like sandpaper or rough surface skin contact. Sometimes people with abrasion kinks also enjoy being hit with things like branches and twigs.
Another winning move for people with abrasion kinks is called a Dutch rub. It’s kind of like a sexual version of a noogie, where a consenting partner uses their knuckles to scrape across their partner’s scalp.
4. Actirasty
Actirasty is when people derive sexual arousal from direct contact with the sun and sunlight. So I guess you could say that people with an Actirasty kink are really into the D. The vitamin D, that is.
I think the beauty of this is that it’s a low-cost, low-effort kind of kink. Just make sure to wear some sunscreen, I guess.
5. Bondage
Bondage is one of the main pillars of kink. It represents the ‘B’ in BDSM and it refers to a wide range of play where partners consensually restrain, bind and tie up their partner in a way that restricts movement.
Bondage is a pretty common practice within kink play, and there are many ways to go about it, ranging from super kinky to super vanilla. For example, experienced bondage fans can suspend each other with a rope, whereas beginners or those into more conventional explorations of bondage can stick to things like fluffy handcuffs.
For many, the appeal of bondage lies in the dominant-submissive dynamic. The person tied up becomes the submissive whose pleasure is in the hands of the dominant person, who can move around freely without restraint.
6. Blood fetish
A blood fetish — also known as vampire fetish or Hematolagnia— is when people have an interest in using blood or blood-like things during sexual play. Some people who have a blood fetish enjoy the sensory elements of blood play, like the smell, texture, feeling and taste.
Others incorporate instruments like knives to draw out bits of blood. But although cutting fits under the blood fetish category, not everyone who enjoys blood play is into it.
Also, in case you were wondering, period sex can fit under this banner too.
7. Amaurophilia
Usually being kept in the dark is a bad thing — but not for those who have amaurophilia, otherwise known as a fetish for blindness. In many cases, this refers to having sex in complete darkness by simulating blindness with a blindfold. It can also refer to having a preference for partners who are blind or wear blindfolds to experience a sightless sexual experience.
Many appreciate the heightened sensitivity that comes with removing one of the senses, whereas some people prefer the freedom of having sex in darkness due to insecurities.
8. Breeding Kink
A breeding kink is when someone becomes aroused at the idea of getting their partner pregnant or being impregnated. Although this often involves a person with a penis ejaculating into a person with a uterus, leaving them with the potential risk of pregnancy, Bonnie Bentley says that people with breeding kinks don’t always want to become pregnant.
“Often, the thrill comes from the risk, the intimacy or the dominant-submissive dynamic between partners,” she asserts.
While breeding kinks can be entirely a role-play situation, in many cases, it does involve bodily fluids being exchanged between partners. So, for this reason, it’s super important to make sure you’re getting tested regularly for STIs.
9. CBT
If you’re an anxious person like me, you may have thought CBT stood for cognitive brain therapy. And while it does in a therapy scenario, the kinky acronym couldn’t be more different — it stands for cock and ball torture 🥰.
CBT falls under the BDSM umbrella and is part of risk-aware consensual kink play. It involves inflicting pain on the penis and testicles through various methods such as kicking, slapping, pinching, punching or using particular torture devices like a ball stretcher.
Now, CBT isn’t for the faint of heart and as this type of play can be dangerous, it’s important to be well-researched in the risks and how to keep yourself and your partner safe. And — as with any sexual activity — communication is always key.
10. Consenstual non-consent
Consensual non-consent, or CNC, is when two consenting people role-play as if one person is not consenting to the sexual encounter. For those participating in consensual non-consent play, it is imperative they’ve established boundaries and clear communication around the experience.
“Within the kink community, CNC can be considered to be a form of edge play — activities that challenge the BDSM principle of safe, sane and consensual play. The argument is that it can’t be consensual if you’re revoking consent within the scene. However, for some it can be really erotic and intense to have consent ignored,” sexologist Zoe Snell says.
“It could be a rape fantasy, or any fantasy that your pleas are ignored, but it has to be pre-established before beginning the scene. If you say ‘no’ or ‘stop’ during something and your partner doesn’t listen, that’s assault. So if it’s not preestablished, it’s not BDSM, that’s straight-up assault.”
Zoe says that CNC is certainly not for kink-play beginners.
“It’s definitely for advanced BDSM-ers,” she warns.
“It’s not something you’d do on a first date as there needs to be a tremendous level of trust, communication and honesty for it to be safe.”
11. Cuckolding
Traditionally, cuckolding is when a man — known as the cuckold — is in a partnership with a woman who has sex with other people and ends up raising the offspring of another man. These days in kink play, the cuckold gets pleasure from watching or just knowing that their partner is having sex with someone else. So, they play a big part in their partner getting their kicks with other people without actually being involved in the sex act themselves.
One of the best bits about cuckolding is in its history! The name is derived from the cuckoo bird, a sneaky little creature that lays its eggs in the nests of other birds, which then raises its young as their own — even though it has no biological connection.
The appeal of cuckolding lies in the humiliation and degradation aspect. The cuckold might feel emasculated or frustrated knowing that someone else is giving their partner pleasure. For those who find that kind of thing enticing and arousing, cuckolding is a real treat.
12. Claustrophilia
As with many of these kinks and fetishes, this one certainly isn’t for everyone. Claustrophilia is the opposite of claustrophobia. So, instead of being scared of being trapped in small spaces, claustrophilia is when sexual arousal is derived from being confined.
Some fetishists enjoy spending time inside a coffin or being restrained in a straight jacket whereas others can get sexual gratification from wearing tight-fitting clothes.
13. Dominance
Dominance is a huge part of the BDSM acronym and goes hand in hand with the ‘S’ for submission. In fact, most things on this list of kinks have some sort of connection to the power play between the dominant and the submissive.
Dominance is definitely a big part of kink play, a level of dominance and submission is found within most forms of sex. BDSM just makes it a bit more exaggerated and conscious.
Those who are dominant get their kicks from calling the shots over their submissive partner but both parties derive pleasure from this dynamic.
Dominance isn’t just a temperament in the bedroom, for many, it extends into real-world play too. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that a bit later.
14. Dirty Talk
Dirty talk is one of the most popular kinks around — and for good reason. During sex, we pay attention to all of our senses, including auditory ones. Just like how listening to your partner’s moans can be a turn-on, dirty talk is a more conscious way of expressing desire, adding intensity and combining the mind-body experience in the bedroom.
Zoe Snell is a self-confessed fan of dirty talk herself. She says that it helps her feel present during sex.
“Personally, I love words in pretty much any context — my love language is words of affirmation — but there is something about hearing or saying words like “pussy” or “cock” during sex that really connects me with my body at that present moment and gets my out of my head,” she says.
“Typically they aren’t words I use in my everyday life either, so there is a naughtiness that comes with saying them too.”
15. Analingus
Ah, analingus — cunnilingus’ lesser-known but equally beloved cousin. Analingus is when the anus is orally stimulated by the mouth, lips and tongue of another person. It is often referred to as rimming because it’s the outside rim of the butthole that is generally stimulated.
Analingus is a pretty popular practice with all genders due to the multitude of nerve endings that are located around the anus. For many, rimming is a huge part of foreplay and oral sex.
16. DYI Porn
A DIY porn kink is just what it sounds like — when people get off to creating their very own at-home porn videos. But what you do with this content is very varied.
Some people love the idea of performing on camera but then never want to actually watch it back. Others get hot and heavy seeing themselves in action or get pleasure from posting it on a variety of websites made for this very purpose.
“The appeal for that in making and viewing DIY is often the lower production value,” says Zoe Snell.
“Oftentimes with mainstream porn, it’s on a set, there’s the lighting and sound and the actors are all very engineered. It doesn’t feel like you’re watching a scene in real life. For many, it can be hotter, more erotic watching something that bears more resemblance to reality.”
Also, DIY or at-home porn is a flourishing category with many people now seeking out this kind of content instead of mainstream porn.
While Zoe acknowledges that mainstream porn can be positive, she says there needs to be more put in place to make it clear that these are actors performing a scene.
“Mainstream porn isn’t all bad, but it needs to be very clear that these are actors performing a scene because unless you have, high porn and media literacy, it can be really unclear that what you’re watching isn’t real,” she says.
“Mainstream porn doesn’t often include safer sex with discussions of condom use or barrier protection methods for STI or pregnancy. There’s almost never consent presented. In ethical porn, there is often a discussion of consent before a scene but in mainstream porn, we’re not privy to the discussions of consent that go on, if they go on.”
She also notes that the actions seen in mainstream porn often cater to the male gaze and limit the idea of what our bodies ~actually~ look like.
“They’re having sex in positions that highlight the genital area which is not how people generally have sex so I think it can lead to a misunderstanding of what sex is supposed to look like,” she explains.
“Also in terms of what bodies are supposed to look like for all genders. For women or people with vulvas, it can really be misrepresentative of what labia looks like. And for men, and people with penises, their physical expectations of massive penises are not accurate.”
17. Electrostimulation
Erotic electrostimulation or electroplay is when electrical stimulation is applied to the body for sexual gratification.
This kind of play provides a super unique sensation that stimulates nerve endings and can provide a deeper range of sensations by making your muscles clench involuntarily.
It is most often carried out with devices such as Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation machines (TENS), Electro Muscle Stimulation units (EMS), or specific toys made for erotic electrostatic stimulation. ESTIM, a website which is all about this kind of kink play, recommends pulse-type devices like TENS machines or EMS because they are the safest devices made for the human body. They do not recommend attempting to use any other shock-inducing equipment.
As you’d expect, electrostimulation does come with some risk. It is important that electro play is never undertaken with someone who has a heart condition or a pacemaker. Plus, a current should never, ever be passed through the heart area. And yes, that means nipple shocks are out of the question.
18. Erotic Asphyxiation
Erotic asphyxiation is a kink which involves cutting off blood flow for your partner or yourself during a sexual experience. This results in a lack of oxygen and an increase in carbon dioxide which can heighten sexual arousal or make climaxes more intense with the lightheaded feeling that comes with it. Similarly, auto-erotic asphyxiation is where this practice is carried out alone during masturbation. While many people think it can only be achieved through choking, it can also entail suffocating or smothering a person’s face to limit oxygen intake.
In recent years, choking has become a fairly common thing in meme culture and in popular media. So much so that in 2021, a probability survey from the US found that one in three women between 18 to 24 had been choked during their last sexual encounter. Although, despite the rise in popularity, Bonnie Bentley says that it’s still very much classified as a kink.
“Even though choking during sex is becoming more mainstream, erotic asphyxiation is still considered to be unconventional because it falls outside of the traditional ideas most people have about P-in-the-V sex,” she says.
Here, the issue isn’t really the act itself, but the idea that choking is part of a regular and healthy sex life. Take, for example, The Idol‘s highly controversial strangulation scene, which depicted itas a super-chill and regular experience for the characters on the show. This is not the case.
According to Bonnie, there really is no 100 per cent safe way to practice erotic asphyxiation.
“There are only safer ways. Knowing this and being aware of the risks is the first step to being as safe as possible,” she asserts.
“Did you know that the human windpipe can be crushed with the same amount of pressure that it takes to crush a Coca Cola can? For this reason, it is really important to never press directly on top of the throat.”
Instead, she suggests squeezing the sides of the throat or covering the nose and mouth which can achieve similar results with a lower risk level. But as always, the most important thing is communication.
“It’s not just about checking in with your partner in the moment. It also means having open conversations about what both of your limits are, how these limits will be articulated and observed and what to do in case of an emergency,” she explains.
19. Exhibitionism
If you’re a bit of a show pony, exhibitionism could be for you. In general, being an exhibitionist can be as simple as being provocative, or dressing in a revealing manner and being elated by the attention you’re getting for being a bit saucy.
In a purely sexual context, exhibitionism is when a person becomes turned on by being seen naked or performing sex acts in front of others. Although it can be associated with those who expose their genitals to others without consent, it can be explored in a consensual way. Many people engage in exhibitionist kink by participating in group sex, going to sex clubs or even getting freaky online.
Interestingly, being into exhibitionism can be classified as a psychiatric disorder as per the psychology bible DSM-5. However, when it comes to the pathology of various kinks, it’s important to note it only really counts as a disorder if the kink meets certain criteria — and impacts the sufferer’s life so much that they can’t lead a relatively normal life. Otherwise, it’s just another facet of someone’s sexual interests.
20. Emetophilia
Otherwise known as a “Roman shower”, emetophilia is when someone becomes sexually aroused from vomiting, being vomited on or watching other people vomit.
An emetophilia fetish can range in extremes. Some people are stoked watching videos of people vomiting, while others might seek out the vomit of other people.
For example, one 27-year-old vomit enthusiast told VICE that while they could get off from their own vomit, their preference was the puke of straight men, particularly dads.
“My favourite type is natural vomit caused by too much alcohol or illness,” they said.
“Vomit from food poisoning is great, but I won’t beg for it. If it’s forced or unnatural, I would be interested in it but I wouldn’t be that into it.”
21. Foot Fetishism
I would say that foot fetishes — a particular sexual interest in feet, toes and ankles — are one of the most well-known fetishes around.
Although foot fetishes have a bit of stigma — remember the slightly creepy foot guy in Sex And The City? — they’re becoming more mainstream, and limited research suggests it’s one of the more common fetishes around.
For some people, just the sight of a pair of tootsies is enough to get them going, whereas other people relish painted toenails, jewellery or well-manicured feet particularly sexy.
During research for his book Tell Me What You Want: The Science Of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life, Dr. Justin Lehmiller found that 14 per cent of 4,175 Americans, aged 18-87, “reported having had a sexual fantasy before in which feet or toes placed a prominent role.”
While that doesn’t necessarily mean that these people had a foot fetish, it’s a good indicator of the popularity of the interest.
22. Sitophilia
Sitophilia is a fetish where an individual has a sexual attraction to, and derives sexual gratification, from food. This can manifest in a whole heap of different ways and is most often referred to as food play.
A sitophilia fetishist might enjoy eating food off their partner’s body, using food to enhance sex (like sucking on a lime before going down on someone for an added sensation), using food as a masturbatory tool (like old mate does in American Pie), create food items using bodily fluids or even using food as a method of control or humiliation (for example, chucking food at someone as a punishment).
To that, we say: bon appétit.
23. Sploshing
Also falling under the umbrella of sitophilia is sploshing — a form of food play which involves covering yourself or others in food. People who are into sploshing get aroused by the idea of being in and amongst a heap of mushy foods in a sexual context or covering another person.
This kink falls under the “wet and messy” kink category and also has ties to BDSM due to the potential elements of submission and dominance with being covered in a messy substance.
24. Figging
Traditionally, figging — or gingering — refers to the practice of placing a peeled bit of ginger into someone’s anus. These days, the term includes putting ginger in vaginas and urethras.
Usually, the ginger is peeled into a butt plug kind of shape, so that it tapers from small to large and doesn’t get lost in the bussy.
The goal here is to create a burning, warming and tingling sensation that some people find to be arousing and pleasant. For others, it can be uncomfortable and painful — but that’s also what makes it pleasurable.
25. Group Sex
Group sex comes in many forms. There’s the humble threesome, orgies and even a gang bang.
According to Dr Lehmiller’s research, group sex is one of the most popular kinks around with 89 per cent of survey reporting that they’ve fantasised about some form of group sex. Roughly three-quarters (74 per cent) of people reported having steamy thoughts about orgies, and 61 per cent had impure thoughts about gang bangs.
Thankfully for people who are into group sex, there are plenty of spaces that can make it happen — that aren’t just telling someone hot in a bar that you saw them across the room and are looking for a third. A cheeky Google search will reveal sex and fetish clubs in your city that host group sex events. Nice!!!!
26. Gagging
Gagging is generally when a penis or phallic object is put so deep down a person’s throat that they gag. Some people with penises say that they receive more sensation and gratification from their partner gagging. Others are turned on by the sound or sight of someone gagging while for many, it’s not really about the sound or sensation, but the dom-sub power dynamic.
In a thread in the r/BDSM community Reddit page, one curious Redditor asked about what it was about gagging that was a turn-on.
“I literally just had a guy explain it to me like this…the fact that I’m willing to make myself uncomfortable just to please him was a major turn on. it made way more sense to me after hearing it like that,” one user wrote.
Also, gagging can go hand in hand with a vomit fetish, if you want it to.
27. Gerontophilia
Gerontophilia is a fetish which involves a sexual attraction towards elderly people. Some people who identify with this fetish seek out elderly sexual partners, while others simply find older people attractive. But Bonnie Bentley says that she’s always found it a bit baffling that gerontophilia is classified as a fetish.
“It has always felt a bit strange to me because it implies that it is usual for elderly people to be considered desirable — which simply isn’t true!” she says.
“Elderly people are sexual beings who absolutely have the right to experience and express eroticism, just as all humans do.”
32. Japanese Bondage
Japanese bondage — also known as Kinbaku or Shibari — is a practice which celebrates the beauty of binding. It involves tying people up in intricate patterns with a thin rope.
Japanese bondage is a form of BDSM kink play in which one person does the tying and the other person receives the ropes, making one person traditionally dominant and the other submissive.
33. Klismaphilia
Klismaphilia is the enjoyment and sexual arousal from enemas. This involves depositing liquids into the rectum and colon via the anus. People with Klismaphilia get arousal from anal stimulation and the internal sensations that happen when the colon dilates. Or, to use the common parlance, prepare the bussy for the boom boom.
Some people may be into the preparations for the enemas or preparing someone for an enema.
34. Katoptronophilia
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the horniest of them all? Well, people who identify with katoptronophilia — AKA kink for mirrors might be. For those with a mirror kink, there’s nothing sexier than watching themselves have sex or masturbate in a reflection.
35. Knismolagnia
Knismolagnia is a fetish for being consensually tickled or watching other people be tickled. For those who have a tickling fetish, it can be the whole event or act as foreplay. And for many, nudity or sexual acts don’t even need to be involved.
Tickling fetishes found their way to mainstream centre stage in 2016 when journalist David Farrier released an incredibly fascinating documentary called Tickled. The doco follows David as he looks into a mysterious tickling competition he finds online. You can watch it on Binge.
36. Lactation
A lactation kink is when people are turned on by breastfeeding on a woman’s breast. But while lactation kinks can be sexual, they can also be part of Adult Nursing Relationships (ARN) which are not always sexual. In these relationships, one partner induces milk production for the other partner to feed on. ANR relationships can fulfil all sorts of needs for those engaging in them, from sexual needs to simply feelings of comfort from one partner to another.
The difference between a lactation kink or ARN to age play is that people who engage in lactation or ARN are two consensual adults acting as their own age and acting as themselves.
37. Masochism
Sexual masochism is when a person gets erotic gratification from having pain inflicted on themselves. It differs from sadism, which means to get sexual pleasure from inflicting pain on others. However, both masochism and sadism are fundamental parts of BDSM.
Masochism doesn’t just have to be physical pain. It can also include being humiliated or put into particularly uncomfortable situations.
Masochism can also be thought of as a disorder if it meets certain criteria. If someone is experiencing intense, recurrent urges or behaviours that they find distressing or stop them from living their normal life, that’s when masochism is diagnosed as sexual masochism disorder. Otherwise, having a masochistic sexual interest is completely normal and common!
38. Macrophilia
Macrophilia is when people are sexually drawn to the idea of giants and people who are significantly larger than themselves. So… death by snu snu, anyone?
While there are plenty of sexual depictions of giants, some people are content with non-sexual depictions of large beings.
This fetish is also referred to as a macro fetish or GTS fetish by communities online with many having a particular interest in “giantesses” or female giants. Online, there are a heap of videos, games and images that cater to macrophilia. In the real world, people with interest in macrophilia have been known to schedule sessions (sexual or not) with physically tall women.
39. Melolagnia
It’s no secret that music can make us ~feel~ things but for some, that feeling extends past the usual happy/sad range. Melolagnia is a fetish for music. And while it sounds like fun, it’s not as simple as chucking on a song and getting it on.
People with this fetish often have particular sounds and genres that get them going. For example, some fetishists love heading to raves where the constant, fast-paced beat is enough to create sexual arousal. While some people simply get aroused listening to a particular type of music, others require music to get in the mood.
40. FinDom
FinDom or financial domination is when someone (the submissive) consents to having their finances completely controlled by someone else (the dominant).
“The submissive gets off on having absolutely no power in this aspect of their life,” sexologist Zoe Snell says.
“It’s a pretty extreme kink and it’s also important to note that the submissive is unlikely to be getting anything in return. There is usually nothing in it other than the pleasure derived from having absolutely no say in their financial life.”
Getting money from someone to humiliate them? In a cost of living crisis? Sign me the fuck UP.
41. Money kink
A money kink is much less taboo than FinDom. Individuals with a money kink don’t get hot under the collar for physical money, rather, they get turned on by the idea of money and luxury goods. For many, it’s representative of power and status — and that’s what makes it hot.
While it sounds like something that everyone probably has, there is a slight difference.
“Everybody likes money, but those with a money kink get sexually aroused by money,” Zoe says.
42. Nebulophilia
Nebulophilia is when an individual has a sexual affinity to fog, smoke or steam. It’s one of a range of weather fetishes including astraphilia (thunder and lightning) and actirasty (sunlight). Rather than someone being attracted to the misty weather, it means that fog, smoke or steam gets them going.
43. Objectum Sexuality
Objectum sexuality is when an individual has emotional, romantic and/or sexual feelings towards inanimate objects. These objects can be anything from items you own to famous landmarks. People with objectum sexuality will assign personalities and names to the object of their desires.
Although this show feels low-key exploitative upon reflection, I first came across objectum sexuality through the show My Strange Addiction which featured a bunch of people who identified as objectum sexuals, including individuals who were in relationships with balloons, cars and the Eiffel Tower.
44. Objectification Kink
By definition, sexual objectification is when someone is seen as a sexual object without recognising them as a real person with emotions, thoughts and feelings. While this can be inherently negative in an everyday context, it can be erotic in a sexual context.
For many people, being objectified is a huge part of their erotic fantasies. It can be as simple as wanting to be desired sexually by partners or others, or it can merge into objectification through a humiliation lens and lend into BDSM. The most important part here is that it is consensual.
45. Pregnancy Fetishism
Pregnancy fetishism is when individuals are particularly aroused by pregnant people and things associated with pregnancy like lactation, impregnation or childbirth. Known as maiesiophilia or maieusophoria, people with this fetish find the whole kit and kaboodle of pregnancy arousing. While it’s similar to a breeding kink, the difference is that the individual is attracted to pregnancy, rather than simply the idea of knocking up someone.
It’s important to note that pregnant women are gorgeous and are still sexual beings — the difference is the fetishisation of pregnant people.
46. Praise Kink
A praise kink is one of the fluffier entries on this list of kinks. It refers to when people get turned on by being affirmed or complimented verbally in the bedroom.
Sexologist Laura Miano has a couple of theories as to why a praise kink has found its way into common parlance online.
“I’d say there is a lot of ambiguity during sex so people might really identify with praise kink because it helps to clarify whether their sexual partner is enjoying themselves!” she says.
“My other theory is that it’s become so widely talked about (over other kinks) because it’s a softer side of kink and can slip through the algorithm easier than other harder kinks.”
I think she’s onto something there.
47. Primal Play
Primal play is when people release their more primitive, animalistic side during sex. The idea is that primal play removes all pretences, and allows people to follow their impulses and do what feels natural.
“To a degree, allowing a more primitive side to come out during sex happens when anyone becomes aroused because as your sex centre activities in your brain, in primitive areas like the brain stem, it actually starts to inhibit the more human side of your brain known as the prefrontal cortex,” says Laura Miano.
“So technically, everyone has a degree of primal play, I guess where it becomes a kink is in how much you allow that process to happen.”
For some, this manifests as a wordless, and animalistic experience. But one of the biggest misconceptions is that it’s only about acting like an animal when you have sex. And — just to be totally clear — it has no connections to any ideas of bestiality.
“To a degree, a raw primitive side does come out when anyone becomes aroused because as your sex centre activities in your brain, in primitive areas like the brain stem, it actually starts to inhibit the more human side of your brain known as the prefrontal cortex,” she explains.
“So technically, everyone has a degree of primal play, I guess where it becomes a kink is in how much you allow that process to happen.”
48. Public sex
Public sex — or agoraphilia — is a fetish in which people seek out sexual activities in public spaces. People with agoraphilia might get excited and find sexual arousal from the possibility of being seen or caught. Others might just enjoy being out in nature, or simply the scandalous idea of being in public.
Technically, there is no law which makes public sex illegal, but having sex in public can easily lead to charges of indecent behaviour and exposure, according to Australian law. These charges change from state to state so keep this in mind!
49. Quirofilia
Quirofilia is when individuals can get sexually aroused by hands. I’m not talking about being aroused from the general touch of your partner’s hands, I mean that the idea or image of hands specifically is what turns people on.
As a fetish, someone might get turned on by certain parts of the hand specifically like fingers, palms or wrists. Others might like particular hands, like manicured fingers, veiny wrists, or rough, calloused fingers.
50. Role Play
Role play is when two or more partners act out a scene or fantasy as part of their sexual encounter. For many, role play can be an exciting form of foreplay. Although role play doesn’t always fall under the BDSM umbrella, it is a big part of BDSM play. Role play can be impromptu and in the moment, or it can be an elaborate endeavour with costumes, scripts and props.
51. Robot Fetishism
Robot Fetishism — also known as ASFR for alt.sex.fetish.robots — is a fetish where people feel sexually attracted to humanoid robots. Some people express this feeling through fantasy, role play and dressing up as robots. Others dream of having relationships with android partners or having a robotic sexual companion, or even get turned on by the idea of turning into a robot themselves.
Some experts claim that robot fetishism has ties with agalmatophilia — when people get sexual arousal from statues, dolls and mannequins that are usually nude.
Kal Cobalt, an author and noted robot fetishist, told VICE that he believes that for him, the eroticism for him lies in the power dynamics.
“Robots are typically depicted as either the ultimate naive submissive, unaware of the world, wholly dependent upon its maker or partner for its entire understanding of the world, or deeply authoritative and impossibly smarter than humans, equally dangerous and protective depending on the context,” he says.
“Those depictions are almost like an exaggeration of what happens in any human relationship; there are things we teach our partners and things we learn from them. So in that way, robot fetishism might be exploring the very nature of the less kinky, more common ‘power exchanges’ native to any relationship.”
52. Sex Parties
Sex parties are a place where a bunch of kinky play can be explored in one space. It is counted as kink because sex parties in general are considered to be unconventional. At a sex party, you might find people into group sex, people who like watching other people have sex or those who like to be watched. Or, you might even find people just getting it on in a secluded place without prying eyes.
The beauty of sex parties or sex clubs is the open, accepting nature of the BDSM community which places safe, sane and consentual play at the heart of everything they do.
53. Spectrophilia
Spectrophilia — also known as Phasmophilia — is a sexual attraction to ghosts. However, it is also used as a descriptor for people who describe having sexual experiences with ghosts.
While this sounds like a bit of a far-fetched idea, accounts of paranormal sexual experiences have been happening for centuries and these scenarios have been depicted in pop culture, for example, the movie Ghost with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore.
Or, if you want some real life examples, both Kesha and Lucy Lui have claimed to had sexual experiences with a ghost. In 2012, Kesha told Ryan Seacrest that her song ‘Supernatural’ was written about a spicy encounter with a ghost while Lucy Lui claims that in 1999 climaxed from having sex with a ghostly being.
54. Stygiophilia
Stygiophilia is sexual arousal from thinking about hell or the underworld. For some people, it’s the idea of committing a sinful act that turns them on. Whereas for others, it might be the idea of eternal damnation that causes arousal.
People with a stygiophilia fetish can engage with it in a bunch of ways including role-play, looking at images that embody hell or have figures like demons, and participating in BDSM activities like flogging or wax play.
Gives a new meaning to the phrase ‘devil may care’, no?
55. Pantyhose
For those with a pantyhose fetish, there is nothing sexier than wearing — or seeing someone else wear — a pair of nylons. Whether it’s the silky smooth texture or the action of watching someone take them on or off, pantyhose fetish is fairly common.
Similarly to most fetishes, people who vibe with pantyhose might have a particular interest related to pantyhose. It could be particular colours, brands or types, the feeling of wearing them, or seeing partners put them on.
56. Scat
Coprophilia — more commonly known as scat — is a kink when individuals become sexually aroused by faeces. Speaking generally, I think the first time many of us discovered scat was when the iconic viral video “2 Girls 1 Cup” was doing the rounds. Never forget.
For many, it’s hard to imagine incorporating poo into your sex life, but for scat enthusiasts, it’s sexy, thrilling and a huge turn-on. The scat spectrum is pretty huge, ranging from people just enjoying watching others poo to smearing and eating the substance.
For many, a big part of the excitement of a scat kink is the taboo aspect of it. Playing with human waste — or even something as simple as taking a shit in front of your partner — feels conventionally wrong. But it’s these feelings of wrongness or humiliation that some people can find enjoyable. Others relish in the feeling of freedom from doing something this taboo with a partner.”
57. Tentacles
Tentacle porn or tentacle erotica is a type of porn which originated in Japan. Most often, it features sexual scenes involving beasts that have a whole heap of tentacles having intercourse with predominantly women. While modern tentacle porn can be consensual, often the scenes depicted are non-consensual.
Although tentacle porn has been parodied in recent years since it found its way to the mainstream spotlight, it’s been a Japanese art form since the 1800s.
On Reddit, some kinksters report that they love the submission aspect of a beast having their way with them. Others like the idea of being penetrated by so many tentacles at once. This kind of erotica is also closely tied to teratophilia — when individuals have a sexual attraction towards monsters.
58. Trichophilia
Trichophilia — or a hair fetish — is a sexual arousal from human hair. Many people who identify with a hair fetish have preferences for certain types of hair: long and sleek, curly and soft or short and spikey, for example.
For Josh, 37, just seeing his preferred type of hair on the street will make him instantly aroused.
“The blood starts pumping, the heart rate goes up, I get a boner, and so on,” he told Dazed.
“Hair is extremely sexual for me, and seeing beautiful long hair on the street will turn me on. Of course, I’d wonder how it smells, what kind of shampoo she uses, and how it would feel on my skin. The softness of hair is otherworldly for me, and there is nothing that can compare to the feeling.”
In the bedroom, fetishists can incorporate hair in a range of ways including the hair job, which involves wrapping hair around a penis and tugging it, or a bunfuck, which really is what it sounds like.
Although this fetish is most commonly around head hair, it can also represent interest in other body hair too.
59. Urophilia (A.K.A Piss Play or Golden Showers)
Urophilia is a kink where individuals receive sexual gratification from urine, being urinated on, or urinating on a partner. As far as kinks go, it’s a much more common one which you might hear referred to as piss play, golden showers or watersports.
Just like with any kink, there are a heap of ways to engage with urophilia. Some people enjoy giving it a go during shower sex. Others get turned on by seeing their partner wet themselves or the feeling of urine on their skin. Some individuals enjoy the smell or the taste of urine.
I say, whatever floats your piss.
60. Underwear
As far as fetishes go, having a fetish for underwear is reportedly fairly common. For those who identify with an underwear fetish, the sight, smell, feeling and thought of underwear is enough to get them sexually aroused.
In most cases, people are drawn to different types of underwear and will search out underwear that has been worn during specific activities like going to the gym or post-sex. Thankfully, there is a huuuuuge market for selling used underwear online and fetishists can often find exactly what they’re looking for at a price.
61. Voyeurism
Voyeurism is a common kink where individuals get sexual satisfaction from watching or listening to others engaging in sexual activities, rather than being an active participant.
While many depictions of voyeurism (like peeping Toms) are non-consensual, voyeurism can — and should — be a completely consensual kink. One way people can engage with this kink is by asking their partner to masturbate or have sex with someone else in front of them, or going to a sex club and asking participating people if they can watch on.
62. Vore
Vore — or vorephilia — is the sexual desire or fantasy to be consumed or consume another person whole. A vore kink isn’t entirely linked with cannibalism though. More commonly soft vore is when victims are depicted swallowed whole and entering the stomach of their consumer. In these depictions, the person swallowed is often let out unharmed via defecation or vomiting.
Hard vore features more extreme depictions and fantasies. They involve scenes where the victim is chewed or torn apart by the consumer. Along with hard and soft vore, there is also subcategories about how people like to imagine how the ingestion fo a human happens.
While actually participating in vore is technically impossible and downright illegal, people can engage with vore through artwork, role-play, and cosplay.
63. Vicarphilia
Vicarphilia is when individuals receive sexual arousal from hearing about another person’s exciting experiences. While these are most often retellings of sexual experiences, they can be non-sexual too.
The term ‘vicarphilia’ is heavily linked to the word ‘vicarious’ which means to experience something in the imagination through the feelings or actions of another person.
64. Impact play
Impact play is a form of BDSM where one partner consensually strikes another with their hands or a toy. It can be as simple as spanking — which I’d say is a fairly mainstream bedroom activity — but impact play goes far beyond a cheeky slap on the ass.
There are a wide variety of tools and implements from whips to crops specifically designed to create different sensations during impact play. It can also be an easy way to lean into sadism and masochism play where one partner can punish the other.
Reminder: it’s only BDSM if the activity is safe, sane and consensual.
65. Wax play
Wax play is another BDSM activity that falls under the temperature play umbrella in the kink world. While temperature play involves using both hot or cold objects to create different sensations during sex, wax play is most commonly done by melting hot wax and dripping it over a partner’s body.
Due to the burn risk, wax play is not for beginners. Or at least, not for people who just grab a candle from the shelf and want to give it a crack. If you have a wax kink, or simply want to try wax play, you can buy candles specifically for wax play from retailers like LoveHoney.
66. Chastity
A chastity fetish is where people get off on having access to their genitals blocked. This can be done using devices such as a chastity belt or cock cages. Some of these devices have a lock and key, while other more advanced ones are controlled by Bluetooth. Say hello to the future!!!
The only downside to the latter is that in 2021, hackers took over some dude’s chastity device and demanded he pay a ransom or his dick would be trapped forever. Ouchie mama.
Anyway, for those who have a chastity fetish, the idea of losing control is what makes it so sexy.
“There’s also the masochistic thrill of not being able to get off,” a chastity enthusiast nicknamed Tom told Mens Health.
67. Odaxelagnia
Odaxelagnia is when sexual arousal happens through biting or being bitten. While neck and lip biting is fairly common even in non-BDSM spaces, it can be thought of as a form of impact play.
And, like with any other bedroom activity, it is still important to exercise consensual behaviours, have open communication and only to bite as hard as your partner is comfortable with.
Biting and odaxelagnia fetishes are just another example proving the age-old adage that there’s a fine line between pleasure and pain!
68. Zentai
People who have zentai fetishes have the desire to completely cover their bodies in skin-tight garments. Originating in Japan, zentai is most commonly done using nylon or spandex suits that go from head to toe.
Some people love the feeling of being completely covered by material including their face and mouth. Others like the second-skin aspect of zentai.
While zentai can be a fetish, for many people the power lies in the freedom to be able to express themselves in a completely anonymous way.
69. 24/7
A rare and fairly extreme fetish is when people take their desired submissive and dominant relationships on a full-time basis. In these relationships, the power dynamics are not limited to particular scenarios and scenes but rather are never-ending and extend throughout all facets of the participant’s life.
Wow wow wow, we’ve reached the end! I hope you’ve all learnt something today.
How do you safely explore kinks and fetishes?
Exploring your kinks and fetishes can be a little bit daunting but it’s also incredibly exciting! However, it’s important to make sure that you keep things safe, sane and consensual.
Consent is imperative so make sure the lines of communication between you and your partners are always open and that everyone involved feels comfortable and supported before engaging in any kink activities.
Sane refers to being in a sound state of mind when playing so all partners need to be sober so they can effectively consent.
For kinks and fetish play that involve risk, make sure to do your research effectively to keep everyone safe.
If all of those needs are met, have fun and enjoy bringing your fantasies to life!
FAQ about kinks & fetishes
Are kinks and fetishes bad?
Absolutely not! Having kinks and fetishes that are a little bit different from what mainstream considers “normal” is completely common. In many cases, having kinks and fetishes isn’t something you can control. Although kinks and fetishes can still have an element of stigma, for many people engaging in kink play can be a wonderful way to enjoy a fulfilling sex life.
Are fetishes healthy?
Fetishes are healthy. According to a 2016 study in the Journal Of Sex, one in three people in the United States has taken part in fetish play at least once in their life. It’s incredibly common and there are fetishes for literally everything you can think of.
If a fetish is taking over your life and making it hard to continue with your day-to-day activities — that’s when a fetish crosses the line from a sexual interest to paraphilia. By definition, paraphilia is “a persistent and recurrent sexual interest, urges, fantasies, or behaviours of marked intensity involving objects, activities, or even situations that are atypical in nature.”
Are fetishes genetic?
In a straightforward biological sense, no.
Truth be told, there’s still a lot to learn about human sexuality, kinks and fetishes. While there’s no exact evidence to prove that kinks or fetishes are hereditary, there is growing evidence that our genetics have some impact on our spicy interests. Some researchers hypothesise that body-related fetishes might be genetic whilst others have a connection with things that happen early on in our lives. However, others believe that certain kinks are more common for people with particular traits.
Some research by Dr. Justin Lehmiller indicates that there is a slight pattern for people who seek out kink or BDSM and this could be. be genetic.
“With people who are high sensation seekers, in some of the research that’s been connected, we see that their dopamine receptors aren’t quite as sensitive as other people,” he told Glamour.
“So they just sort of require this higher level or higher threshold of excitement to get the same sexual thrills that other people do.”
If you’re keen to start exploring a fetish or two, read our guide to the best sex toys around.
Lead photo: PEDESTRIAN.TV.
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