Today, we might chuckle and scoff at older means of communication: the fax, the pager, the answering machine, or the town crier. Not me, though. In fact, I’m getting increasingly jealous of a more inefficient, pre-digital era – a time when you were not absolutely, definitely certain that you were being ignored. Nothing seems to be a bigger source of angst in the modern world than being “left on read”. It’s a term that expresses the sadness that comes from knowing someone has read your message but not replied. It happens on WhatsApp, where two blue ticks mean it’s been seen, but the concept applies on most other platforms, such as Facebook Messenger, Snapchat, iMessage, Twitter, Instagram and more. A jokey TikTok video illustrates the pain, showing a young person going from denial to tears to drinking bleach in the space of around 20 seconds after being left on read.
Of course, it’s not nice to be ignored, not replied to or straight-up ghosted – especially by someone you are currently in a romantic or sexual place with (or want to be). It’s happened to me many times before. Even scrolling through messages from around four months ago, I can see notes from significant people whose last words to me were “Right” or “I’ll check, one sec”. I’m just as guilty, which is why I’d never weigh in with a sarcastic “Still checking then are we?!” In fact, it’s fair to say I’ve been called out for leaving people hanging more than most. And yet, allow me to suggest that we blame the game, not the player. Yes, it’s a craven defence of my own shortcomings – but maybe the fault lies beyond individuals and instead in the always-on culture of the digital age? Walk with me a little...
