It seems there is no depth to which the current crop of Conservatives will not sink, monetising every aspect of modern life in an attempt to create backdoor pathways to funnel any available wealth into their own pockets and those of their donors and cronies, the rivers and seas fouled with excrement, the bodies piled high on gurneys. Brexit Britain resembles nothing more than Russia in the dying days of the Soviet Union, with politicians and their friends in business trying to make off with as much money as they can before the edifice crumbles behind them. But even after the unravelling financial scandals that have enriched everyone from Michelle Mone to Matt Handcock’s pub landlord, the Tories have surely reached a new low with the revelation of plans to asset-strip the very concept of Christmas itself. And, as an investigation by the Guardian revealed, they are nothing new.
Unable to sleep on Christmas Eve 1983, after eating an entire and excessively rich duck confit at one sitting, the disarrayed chancellor of the exchequer, Nigel Lawson, was exiting the toilet in his vast Gascony mansion when he encountered what he assumed was one of his servants in a Father Christmas costume in a tapestried hall. The chancellor simply pantomimed the act of holding his nose and declared: “I’d leave that one a while if I were you.” Then Lawson realised – he was addressing the actual Father Christmas.
