The brand new issue of Metal Hammer is no ordinary magazine. We’ve stepped aside to let Jack Black and Kyle Gass guest edit the issue - a full-on Tenacious D takeover!
And they’ve gone to town, rocking up to Ozzy Osbourne’s LA home to interview the great man himself, persuading Rob Halford and Amy Lee to sit down for interviews and running through their own personal rock’n’roll Hall Of Fame. Believe us, it’s epic stuff!
But then Jack and Kyle were always rock stars trapped in comedians’ bodies. Even before they came to worldwide prominence via their 2002 video for Tribute and an ongoing bromance with Dave Grohl (who also played the demon in said vid), Jack Black and Kyle Gass were busy writing songs and recording the Tenacious D TV show alongside their work in experimental theatre group The Actors’ Gang.
More than two decades on, they’ve played Download Festival, headlined Wembley Arena and Madison Square Garden and released their a self-mythologising movie featuring appearances by Ronnie James Dio, Meat Loaf and (naturally) Dave Grohl. Comedy has remained the cornerstone of their appeal but if you don’t think the duo possess some genuine musical talent, or that their entire routine is based on a genuine love and understanding of rock and heavy metal, you haven’t been paying attention.
Here, then, are the finest moments from the self-professed Greatest Band on Earth…
20. History (The Pick of Destiny, 2006)
If there’s one thing Jack Black (aka Jables) and Kyle Gass (aka Kage) like to sing about, it’s themselves. Like Sabaton’s obsession with war or Ice Nine Kills’ horror preoccupation, Tenacious D’s probing tongue always comes back to… the story of Tenacious D. And here it is dislodging a preposterous list of achievements over the hardest of acoustic riffs.
19. Classico (The Pick of Destiny, 2006)
Rocking up Messrs Bach, Mozart and Beethoven, this features a bunch of motifs you’ll be familiar with if you ever listened to a Now That’s What I Call Classical album – or indeed attended any European football game. It’s also the song that cements Jack and Kyle’s meeting in The Pick Of Destiny movie.
18. Rock Is Dead (Rize of the Fenix, 2012)
Wanting something to feel sad about for their defining blues song on Rize of the Phenix, the duo could only think of the apparent demise of rock music. “And I think you will agree that [Rock Is Dead] will go down in history as perhaps the greatest blues song since Robert Johnson plucked his fucking six-string down at Devil’s Lane, The Crossroads,” Jack told The Hollywood Reporter at the time. All good then.
17. Rock Your Socks (Tenacious D, 2001)
Before Classico brought Bach back, Rock Your Socks had already borrowed the composer’s loot-hero favourite Bourrée in E minor and embedded it somewhere between the 6-6-6 count-in and the scatological reference to a Cleveland Steamer. Look it up - if you must.
16. Hope (Post-Apocalypto, 2018)
The songs accompanying the animated YouTube series Tenacious D in Post-Apocalypto might have been patchier than all the battle jackets at Bloodstock, but there were still some partially hidden gems. Cue this upbeat and resilient little charmer about dogs, love and hope in the wake of a nuclear holocaust.
15. Rize of the Fenix (Rize of the Fenix, 2012)
‘When the pick of destiny was released it was a bomb/ And all the critics said that the D was done’. Get your own hatchet job in first and you’ll win every argument. Especially when you back it up with some of your best metallic riffing and anthemry.
14. The Last In Line (Ronnie James Dio – This Is Your Life, 2014)
Okay so this isn’t a Tenacious D song per se but given their genuine love for Ronnie James Dio and the influence he had on the band, we have to include this charity cover. They play it relatively straight (albeit with a sick recorder solo) and won a Grammy for their efforts – beating Anthrax who were nominated for their own cover of Black Sabbath’s Neon Knights from the same tribute album.
13. Making Love (Post-Apocalypto, 2018)
An entry (oo-er!) in the subcategory of Tenacious D songs that masquerade as tender ballads while actually being sordid piles of filth. It comes on like Fuck Her Gently’s more sophisticated older cousin but you might need to scrub your mind’s eye after hearing the exhortations involving Kyle.
12. Dude (I Totally Miss You) (The Pick of Destiny, 2006)
Another favoured Tenacious D theme is that of ‘Kyle left the band’. This works as a set-piece for the film but is also a surprisingly tender and seemingly heartfelt piece that goes straight for the feels. Fans have talked of playing it at memorials for loved ones and, well, it’s at least more appropriate than Daddy Ding Dong.
11. Don’t Blow It, Kage (Single, 2019)
Jack Black and The White Stripes’ Jack White finally came together for this standalone single and the result was far from grey. To be fair, the White Stripes frontman was only involved in the production side (with the single coming out on his Third Man Records label) and a cameo voiceover but Black and Gass do a reasonable job of showing him what a power duo should sound like.
10. City Hall/I Believe/Malibu Nights Medley (Tenacious D, 2001)
It might be strung together with the not overly funny skit I Believe and the hidden-track hair-metal fluff of Malibu Nights at the end of their debut but City Hall itself is a massive slice of revolutionary zeal, triumph and betrayal. This is the D at their most epic.
9. Roadie (Rize of the Fenix, 2012)
‘I'm standing at the threshold of your dreams/ Without me there'd be no sound from those amps/ Without me there'd be no lights on the stage/ But you don't applaud for me’. Sheer poetry really and the best song about the warriors of the flight case this side of Motörhead’s We Are The Road Crew.
8. Fuck Her Gently (Tenacious D, 2001)
Long before Steel Panther were staining the power ballad format with their potty mouths, Tenacious D were offering their own invaluable romantic advice. It also came with a decidedly NSFW animated video from John Kricfalusi, the creator of The Ren & Stimpy Show.
7. Master Exploder (The Pick of Destiny, 2006)
The masters of tongue-in-cheek self-aggrandisement outdo themselves here as Jack Black declares, ‘I don’t need a microphone/ My voice is fuckin powerful!’ Thing is, he’s not entirely wrong. There’s some incredible screaming on this and Kage is no slouch on the six-string. The ludicrous escalation of bad-assery in the movie is also a delight to behold.
6. The Metal (The Pick of Destiny, 2006)
As you might expect, this is one of the D’s most gleamingly metallic songs, with a simple drilling riff and some ball-bursting classic metal screams from J.B. And, with a list of all the musical genres and eras that have tried and failed to kill The Metal, it’s message lives on as strong as ever.
5. Wonderboy (Tenacious D, 2001)
Wonderboy was the band’s first single and hence the first real taste of the ever-building legend of Tenacious D. They don’t hold back either, portraying themselves as literal hydra-slaying superheroes - the Wonderboy of the title and young Nastyman, who has the power to kill a yak from 200 yards away. It’s all set to a sweeping sense of musical grandeur that boosts the silliness to absolutely epic levels.
4. The Ballad of Hollywood Jack and the Rage Kage (Rize of the Fenix, 2012)
This, though, is perhaps the finest of Tenacious D’s personal mythology treatments, detailing Kage’s mental dissolution as Hollywood Jack abandons him for the movie big-time. There’s a kernel of truth that makes it both funny and affecting and the music rides a tight acoustic groove to a huge emotional crescendo. Marvelous.
3. Kickapoo (The Pick of Destiny, 2006)
This is Jack Black’s origin story as a rock-loving youngster escapes smalltown attitudes and disapproving parents to chase his dreams and a partner to rock out with. It also features sterling guest appearances from Meat Loaf as the young JB’s restrictive father and Ronnie James Dio as his sagacious self.
2. Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown) (The Pick of Destiny, 2006)
You can’t really go wrong when you have Dave Grohl as Satan declaring, ‘I'm the Devil, I love metal/ Check this riff, it's fucking tasty’. And he’s right, it’s delicious. The demonic rock-off of Beelzeboss is the set-piece finale of the film and also an absolute banger of a song in its own right.
1. Tribute (Tenacious D, 2001)
This might not be the greatest song in the world – only a tribute – but this retelling of the ‘Devil at the crossroads’ myth remains Tenacious D’s finest hour. Apart from the one referenced in Tribute itself of course, when they really did write the greatest song in the world before subsequently forgetting how it went. Beelzeboss is essentially an extended remix of the same idea but the execution of Tribute was already perfect. It’s catchy as hell, with an amazing vocal performance and its very own selection fucking tasty riffs. Proof that the Devil doesn’t always have the best tunes.
The brand new issue of Metal Hammer, guest edited by Tenacious D, is on sale now. Buy it here and have it delivered straight to your door.
