Pathé’s elegantly-acted, French-language romp, a not-so-faithful adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ 1844 novel is – quite literally – not the whole story. Part Two, which has already been shot, will be released later in the year.
In case you haven’t read the book – or seen any of the many other films already inspired by it – Porthos, Aramis (Romain Duris) and Athos (Vincent Cassel) are the titular swashbuckling musketeers. And the trio, with the help of whippersnapper and wannabe musketeer D’Artagnan (François Civil), do their best to protect King Louis XIII (Louis Garrel).
Their task is complicated by the fact that his most trusted adviser, the ruthlessly anti-Protestant Cardinal Richelieu (Éric Ruf), has employed a cunning spy, Milady (Eva Green, divine as ever), to stir-up trouble with England and dishonour the King’s Austrian wife, Anne (Vicky Krieps).
In this version, Richelieu and Milady hatch a plan to destroy the queen and Athos, via an invented character, the fetchingly aristocratic Isabelle (Charlotte Ranson). We soon learn that she’s been passing messages between the queen and the queen’s lover, the Duke of Buckingham (Jacob Fortune-Lloyd).
Meanwhile, a disabled grave-digger who’s tortured, shot and mocked feels like a slightly sadistic addition, presumably in the mix because scriptwriters Matthieu Delaporte and Alexandere de La Patelliere thought his pain would be good for a laugh.
What’s actually funny is that we’re meant to invest in the comings and goings of anguished Anne. Director Martin Bourboulon keeps the camera on Krieps’ expressive face as if hoping the Phantom Thread actress can plaster over the gaping hole where the character’s personality should be.
Is this woman in love with Buckingham or just lonely? She shrieks at her paramour that she will never betray the King, (“Leave and never come back, I beseech you!) Buckingham’s lines are just as hysterical (having allowed himself to betray Anne, the duke refers to himself in the third person, crying: ‘You fool, George!”)
The romance between D’Artagnan and Anne’s linen maid Constance (Lyna Khoudri) is less insipid, though Civil can’t redeem a hero who’s mostly bland to the bone.
A film’s is always in trouble when the mansions are more exciting than the men. The chateaux and abbeys – beautifully lit, magnificently austere, damn near throbbing with atmosphere – make the piles in the Downton movies look like prefab huts.
As a slice of heritage porn, The Three Musketeers is suitably juicy. As a take on monarchs and their hangers-on, it can’t match Yorgos Lanthimos’ provocative masterpiece, The Favourite. The central characters risk life and limb to protect Anne and Louis. If blind loyalty is your thing, you’ll be entranced. More cynical viewers may find themselves thinking: what a right royal fuss about nothing.
