My friend’s small daughter was in a state of utter devastation. She desperately wanted to take her toy car into the bath with her. But – and this is key – she equally desperately did not want her toy car to get wet. There was no way to get what she wanted and she was forced to accept the unflinching reality: water is not dry. It hurt, and she wailed.
I can relate. There have been times, mostly when realising that my husband will not do or say or feel the thing that I want him to do or say or feel, when I have wanted to wail, just like that little girl. I have had to acknowledge – again and again – that he is who he is and not who I want him to be.
