In the winter of 2019 everything seemed okay. A good group of friends around me, I was coming to the end of my time at university and outwardly nothing seemed to be wrong. But as is often the case, what was seen on the outside did not match the internal reality.
I was struggling silently, anxious about university, stressed about what was going on around me and falling into a spiral of depression. It had probably been going on for months, but a lack of understanding about what I was experiencing, combined with a fear of talking openly, meant I continued to keep it to myself.
Then one day I just broke down following a panic attack. It felt like a real turning point. I spoke to my parents who urged me to call the GP and try to get some professional help. That first appointment was easy enough. I managed to see a GP relatively quickly, and they were nice and kind, but that’s as far is it went.
In that first appointment I was told I would have to wait at least two years to receive any form of talking therapy, and that the best they could do was offer some form of anti-depressant. I had expected this but was not prepared for a wait of over two years. I took the anti-depressants, but really wished that I could speak to someone sooner.
The next six months were tough. I didn’t take to the anti-depressants well, gaining weight and not feeling myself, and without any professional support I found it hard to see the benefits that they were bringing me. I ended up coming off of them and trying to find alternative therapies.
My mood began to change unpredictably and it started to take its toll on those around me. Eventually, I had enough of waiting and I decided to pay to see someone privately online. This changed everything. I was finally able to explore the reasons why I was feeling the way I was and it has made a marked improvement on my mental wellbeing.
The whole experience of receiving treatment for depression was tough. The lack of certainty combined with long waits made my depression worse, eventually resulting in me having to pay for help. I was lucky I could do this, but this is not possible for the vast majority of people.
This must change. The Scottish Government and NHS Scotland have to recognise that long delays for treatment damages lives. We need to train, recruit and retain more mental health professionals. We need to invest in the infrastructure needed to provide services.
There also needs to be a greater focus on non-clinical treatments. Using sport and art-based treatments has been shown to work, especially as a preventative measure. The solutions are obvious but the Scottish Government doesn’t seem interested in exploring them.
Without any reform or change, we will see more people continue to struggle with their mental health. We already have the start of a two-tiered health system based on who can pay and who can’t. The Scottish Government must act before it is too late.
Elliot Grant-Conlin is a researcher in the Scottish Parliament.
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