Roy Keane wasn't the only Irishman whose mind was churning as he entered Saipan International Airport on this date exactly 20 years ago.
Looking back at the video now, Keane looked cool and collected as he was quizzed by the BBC's Stephen Watson and as photographers jostled for position to get the perfect shot before the Corkman walked through the departure gates and left the 2002 World Cup in his slipstream.
Keane felt different on the inside, surely.
At 30 years of age and at the peak of his powers, for him to want to exit the world stage before the action had even started felt like an unnatural act to those present in the south Pacific - and to the many more who watched events unfold with increasing horror back home.
It felt like an act of self-sabotage, no matter what his supporters argued in his favour, no matter that the training pitch on the Northern Mariana island - an old baseball diamond - was in bits and that the training gear had not arrived in time.
The Saipan stop-off was ill-judged and not organised properly. But mostly it was about some R and R after a long club season before getting down to the serious stuff in Japan.
For whatever reason, Keane failed to see it that way. How much better it would have been for all concerned had an arrangement been made that he simply missed the craic and met his team-mates in Japan.
How much further could Ireland have gone in the tournament.
Keane had been in self-sabotage mode from the moment he failed to appear at Niall Quinn's testimonial before the Ireland team left for Saipan.
It was evident in his sour mood in what turned into a bit of a chaotic circus at Dublin Airport before the team left.
He was cranky as he took on some reporters in Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport en route to Japan over their coverage of his no-show in Sunderland - and no-one was surprised that his appearance at the barbeque arranged for the players and journalists when they reached Saipan was painfully brief.
The barbeque was a well-meaning gesture from Mick McCarthy but a bit of a cringe-fest, though later that night the mixing of the two groups in the local pub made for some interesting discussions.
It was brilliant to be there in the midst of it.
This was my first World Cup and the prospect of a few days on the beach and by the pool had felt like hitting the jackpot with the finals to come after...you just felt so lucky to be there.
I had never been anywhere like Saipan. Walk out the door of the hotel, just a couple of throws of a stone from the players' five star lodging, and the heat and humidity assailed you.
Move for a minute and you'd be drenched in sweat. Weird. We strolled along a beautiful beach that compensated for a less than picturesque townscape, bumping into players along the way.
Venture out further and you could view the remnants of the doomed defence made during the Second World War by Japanese soldiers. Some of us visited the cliffs where many of the vanquished chose to fall to their deaths rather than surrender.
And then, all of a sudden, the island was famous on a global scale as the site of Irish football's civil war.
Everyone was still dealing with jet-lag as the situation deteriorated. One night early in the trip, in the middle of the night Saipan time, I got a call from a colleague back home who was tipped off that a player was leaving the squad.
Head spinning, I worked through the options and knew there was nothing I could do until the morning. When it came, all the players at the team hotel trooped out and onto the bus to go training - Roy Keane included.
Later it emerged that he had threatened to walk out but pulled back from the brink, but of course that was only the start of it.
The point of no return came soon after, with Keane's Irish Times interview and Irish football's JFK moment - the showdown at the Hyatt Regency with McCarthy and the hastily arranged press conference in the hotel's Chinese Restaurant that followed, confirming Keane was leaving.
Bedlam ensued, on the island and back at home. In the hours that followed, the journalists in Saipan were still reeling, trying to make sense of the rapidly developing story - THE story of their careers.
And there was a big decision to make but very little time to make it in.
The choice was this: go on to Japan with McCarthy and the remaining members of his squad as preparations for their opening pool game against Cameroon began in earnest, or hold on and camp out at the Hyatt in the hope of getting some reaction from Keane before he left for home.
It was the middle of the night back home and so a decision that had to be made alone.
My gut told me to stay with Keane as he was the story but the prospect of being absent from Ireland camp as the tournament was only days away felt like the wrong call, especially as there was no guarantee that Keane would talk - either in the team hotel or at the airport.
Abandoning the booked flight for a costly replacement was another big consideration and so the majority left with the team, and all on the flight were in a state of shell-shock even before the heavy turbulence kicked in during the flight to Izumo.
Those that stayed behind got some great Keane colour as they knocked on his hotel door and Watson got the scoop.
Those of us who had quickly left Saipan behind tried to keep up with the story where we were in Izumo and back home, as Keane's potential return kept the flame of controversy burning.
In the end, Ireland reached the last 16 and went out to Spain on penalties. A lifetime's worth of memories were still made, the most vivid being Robbie Keane's late equaliser against Germany that kept the ball rolling on to South Korea.
The pity was Keane wasn't there for the big show. Looking back now, it just feels like one way or another he wasn't going to be part of it, that the pin was ready to be pulled at any stage of Ireland's great Far East adventure.
But what might have been....
