When 26-year-old Minana moved to London in August last year, like many young single people in the capital, she decided to enter the world of dating apps.
“I went on a lot of dates, and I actually started seeing a guy for a while,” she says. “We were doing all this relationship stuff – we even took a trip to Wales together – and then he turned around one day and said he wasn’t looking for anything serious.
“It was like, what do you mean? After that I decided to stop going on apps and try something different.”
Sick of wasting time with men who didn’t want to commit, Minana made it her New Year’s resolution to ditch the apps. She instead decided on a different approach, and one that is quickly gaining popularity in the capital – speed dating.
“The first time I went it was in a bar in Shoreditch. There were about 15 to 20 men and women, and you got five minutes with every guy. Afterwards you submitted a form online where you put ‘yes, no, or just friends’ next to everyone you dated, and then the next day you found out if you’d had any matches.”
“I’ve been three times now, and it’s a way better use of my time than apps,” she says. “On apps there’s so much low effort, but with speed dating you have to buy a ticket, dress up – it takes effort on everyone’s part so it weeds out time-wasters and it’s easier to see if there’s a genuine spark there.”
Minana is certainly not alone. Last year in London, events platform Eventbrite listed three times as many speed dating events as in 2021, and saw a 200 per cent increase in attendance. From naked speed dating and drunk Jenga to a game where singles team up to chase a chicken across London, whatever your niche, there’s something for you.
Despite its rapid growth in popularity, for some speed dating might still conjure images of a grimy bar full of socially awkward, gel-haired corporate men. It’s this misconception that 28-year-old Philomena Obasi-Adams wanted to dispel when she set up south London-based Love Lockdown with her friend in 2017.
“We noticed there was a gap in the market for fun speed dating nights – everything we were seeing was all bankers, very serious, corporate vibes,” she says. “We wanted something that was similar to who we are – young creatives in south London.
“We run both queer and heterosexual events. You can bring friends – even if they’re not dating they can just hang out in the bar. We always have like a DJ after so it can turn into a night out.”
In May last year, when 27-year-old Siobhan Doyle had just come out of a four-year long relationship, she jokingly brought up the idea of speed dating with her friends one evening.
“It was a bit of a spontaneous thing really,” she says. “We looked up some events, found one in Shoreditch and went the same night.
“I’d just come out of a relationship, so I really didn’t want anything too serious. It was just a fun way to spend time with friends and do something a bit different.”
“There’s only so much that you can get out of someone messaging you online, you can’t convey tone or see if you really have chemistry, she says. “Someone could have good chat on a screen but when you meet them in person, there’s no spark.”
A recent study from the Pew Research Center found that 45 per cent of people who used dating apps recently said they left them feeling more frustrated than hopeful.
Sensing this post-Covid dating app fatigue, dating astrologer Lucy Porter started running speed dating events in the capital in 2021. “The number one thing that people say when I ask why they’re here is: ‘I hate the apps’”, she says. “People are seeking connection – Covid has meant that we’ve had this huge separation between each other.”
Lucy has also noticed a huge growth in attendance to her events, with speed dating site True Dating, over the last year. “When I first started we were getting 30 people if we were lucky. Now we’re having to do two a week because we have so many people interested.
“We’ve even had a marriage and a baby in the space of just two years!”
Dating expert and vice president of Dating.com Maria Sullivan explains that, post-Covid, in-person dating events are here to stay. “Like early nineties fashion and flip phones, speed dating is cool again,” she says. “Single people are looking for a cool or unique experience, and today’s experiential speed dating events are reflecting that.”
“Coming out of the height of the pandemic, there has been an increase in the desire for physical, in-person interaction because many felt pent up and lonely, and these events are exciting ways to interact with groups of other singles and to better gauge a potential match.”
Minana agrees. “I finished university, and then six months later it was lockdown. I’ve pretty much been isolated for years. It’s just a good way to expand your social circle and get over that Covid awkwardness. What is there to lose?”
Five coolest speed dating events in London
- Love Lockdown — Peckham-based Love Lockdown runs both queer and heterosexual speed dating events for young singles with a relaxed and creative vibe. Next event in April.
- Chicken Rush — singles arrive at a pub in Soho and mingle, before being put into groups of four (double-blind dates) and being let lose in a race to try and find a mysterious chicken somewhere in the capital (as weird and wonderful as it sounds).
- Link ting —launching with a sold-out event at Homerton’s Castle Cinema at the end of 2021, sexy queer speed dating Link ting is back this March to help match up the city’s LGBTQ+ hotties.
- Jenga speed dating — if you’re looking for something a bit different, why not try 15 fast dates at a fun Jenga-themed speed dating event in Soho at hidden speakeasy bar Zoku?
- True Dating —if true love is what you’re looking for, True Dating run events in London almost every day of the week for those in search of their soulmate.
Tips for a successful speed dating session
- Bring your depth —because each date is timed, focus on asking questions about your speed date’s values. Think of five unusual questions that you think indicate something about your date’s personality.
- Go with friends —particularly if it’s your first time, going with friends can help shake off the nerves. And you can turn it into a fun night out afterwards.
- Open the notes app —it’s a fast-paced event, so it doesn’t hurt to jot down some quick notes on each date on your phone so that you can keep track of who you clicked with and who you didn’t feel a spark with.
- Lower the pressure —most speed dating events only have around 20 potential partners, so it’s unlikely you’ll meet your match instantly. Take the pressure and don’t feel disheartened if you don’t find a connection.
- Enjoy yourself —speed dating is a great way to meet new people, both romantic and platonic, so above all make sure to have fun.
