A few months ago, I posted a viral video online highlighting the flirting differences between American and Australian men.
Prompted by a recent trip to New York, I’d observed that the American man was rather forward and proactive in his advances; he was much more likely to stop you – a stranger – on the street, at a bar, or literally at any public location for that matter, to compliment you or enquire about your relationship status.
Hey, I like your outfit! Hey, you have nice eyes! Hey, you’re not from around here, are you?
It’s enough to make one’s day, or to send shivers down one’s spine, depending on how you generally feel about human interaction.
At this point, I must note, I’m not talking about creepy, boundary-crossing advances (yuck); I mean flirting in a genuine, putting-oneself-out-there kind of way. Let’s say you’re at a cafe and you’re sitting near a guy that you find attractive. After exchanging some glances, he comes over to you to spark a friendly conversation. Respectable, flattering, fun – the good kind of flirting!
Despite the fun, I still found the forwardness quite shocking; I wasn’t used to it. The mere presence of flirting over in the States illuminated the sheer absence of flirting back here in Australia.
Sure, the Australian man may bless you with the occasional glance in your direction. He may deliver you a little upwards nod from across the bar, while looking you up and down. He may even chuck you a wink, if you’re lucky. But compared with American men, the Australian does not flirt at all.
“You forgot the low-key insulting banter,” one TikTok user noted.
Call it tall poppy syndrome or the nonchalant olympics, we’ve become accustomed to an insidious, almost nonexistent form of flirting from the Australian male species.
My video’s comment section echoed this sentiment, agreeing that American flirting is forward and Australian flirting is, uh, rather absent.
“I’d be crossing the street in NYC, minding my own business,” said one user, “and suddenly Romeo can’t believe how beautiful my eyes are and how well put together my outfit is, and wants my number immediately.”
“Australian men don’t have a single romantic bone in their bodies,” another chimed in.
Reading these experiences in the comment section – from girls and gays alike – left me with several questions to ponder (in a very Carrie Bradshaw poised at her laptop, staring pensively out the window way). Why do Australian men refuse to put themselves out there? What happened to a little flirtin’ and romancin’? Is the American way of flirting too over the top?
The one thing that did surprise me, though, was the number of people in the comment section supporting the Aussie way of flirting (or lack thereof) – for every comment that recoiled in disgust at the Australian man’s feeble courting attempts, there was also a comment along the lines of “give me the Australian method of flirting any day”.
“Maybe this is why, as an Australian woman, American men freak me out,” one commented. “They’re so complimentary, it gives me the heebie jeebies, like why are you being so nice? What’s wrong with you?”
“The bar is so low in Australia,” another added, “I’d probably freak out if [I was] approached like the American man.”
Sure, it may seem over the top, but it does beg the question: have we – the girls and the gays – become so used to the bar being so low in Australia, that anything above the bare minimum seems weird? Or maybe I’m reading into it too much, and some people just prefer the nondescript, low-key, Aussie way of flirting.
Personally, I prefer to be showered in praise every moment of every day (the US approach), but each to their own.
Louis Hanson is a writer, comedian and presenter
