Friends are something we all need, but how do you go about making them once you've left school? As a twenty-something living through a pandemic, I've found it hard to make new, genuine connections with people but I decided to change that this week... or at least try!
When you’re young, you meet friends at school, in clubs, at sports matches - it’s generally just a lot easier. As you get older, you start going to work or university and meet new people there. But when a global pandemic hits, your regular social interaction is taken away and you’re left spending all your time at home and fearful to get closer than two metres from anyone, especially strangers.
Even now, when the pandemic feels like less of a threat, many of us are still finding it hard to meet new people. Many others are still working from home. Since March 2020, I have not met a single colleague. There’s been no ‘hanging out round the water cooler’ like in every office-based sitcom, nor has there been a single opportunity to get a little too tipsy at a work-do and decide you can tackle Whitney Houston on the karaoke machine.
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So, if you’ve read my column before, you can probably see where this is going and if you haven’t, here’s the down low: I’m spending a year trying things that sit outside my comfort zone as a single woman and this week I’ve been trying to make a new friend.
Since meeting someone new at work was out of the picture, I looked to the internet for a dating app… but for friends. It turns out there’s a few around, such as Yubo, LMK, Wink, and Hey Vina. After downloading a few and trying them on for size, I opted for Bumble BFF.
Once downloaded, you’re asked to set up a profile which consists of a few photos, a short bio and a few ‘prompts’ to get the conversation started. My bio mentioned that I was exploring the idea of making friends in your twenties and documenting the experience on Bristol Live.
After completing my profile, I then got to start the slightly addictive bit - the swipe. It all felt a bit strange. It didn’t feel natural to judge mine and these women’s compatibility simply from a few photographs. But in for a penny, in for a pound - the matches started rolling in (not to toot my own trumpet), and I ended up chatting with a few women.
I was overwhelmed with how many of the women had also recently moved to Bristol and had been struggling to find friends. Unlike dating apps, these people just wanted some sort of companionship - someone to go for coffee with, enjoy a night out, or have a little adventure with.
I wanted to really push myself out of my comfort zone and meet a stranger in person. After speaking with a fashion graduate, let's call her Sophie*, for a few weeks, we made the mutual decision to meet up. We sat outside in a crowded bar, chewed the fat and enjoyed the music that was blaring inside.
Like me, Sophie had been struggling to get out and socialise, especially as her and her partner had different work schedules. But, the most interesting aspect of the night was that we’d grown up relatively close to each other in Cornwall, had hangout in the same Plymouth clubs as teenagers and had now found ourselves living in Bristol and trying to make new friends… and people say fate doesn’t exist!
It was a fun night (although I did wake up the next morning with a rum-induced headache) and at time of writing it still stands as to whether I’ll ever see Sophie again. Even if I don’t, it was lovely to chat to someone who'd had similar experiences and found being 20-something during a pandemic means making friends is difficult.
If you’re someone who feels lost, needs someone to chat to over instant messenger, or wants people to go on nights out with, I’d highly recommend setting up a profile on a friendship app - who knows, you might meet someone who’ll become your best friend forever!
[*Sophie's name has been changed to respect privacy.]
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