In 1986, the England cricketer Ian Botham was suspended for 63 days after admitting to smoking marijuana. It might not sound like much now, but back then the story was huge: Botham, or “Beefy” as he was known, was England’s most high-profile sports star, and we were a lot more puritanical about pot in those days.
Some newspapers had called for a lifetime ban. So it felt like everyone was watching when Botham made his return against New Zealand. The day started quietly enough, but after half an hour, Botham was brought on to bowl. He charged in, his lion’s mane flapping, and his first delivery caught the edge of the Kiwi opener’s bat. It was caught! Botham had tied the world record for all-time Test wickets. “Blimey Beef,” said his teammate Graham Gooch. “Who writes your scripts?” Gooch was right: it was a ridiculously stagey comeback. Had that scene featured in a work of fiction, it would have looked unearned. We expect our protagonists to struggle and suffer a little more than that. And the truth is that sport routinely creates drama that could never translate to the page or the screen. That’s why sports movies are often so terrible and cliched: films either end with the underdog winning or losing pluckily (while learning an important life lesson). Dramatised re-enactments of sport just can’t compete with the real thing.
