OH OH ANTONIO
Unless Fulham, Brighton or Brentford get a wriggle on, this season’s Premier League top four is beginning to look like a done deal already. A gap has emerged, and we’d like to wish everyone else the best of luck in closing it. Who could bridge that gap? Not Chelsea, who have taken themselves off the gameboard to wait for Potterball to percolate, which it should do by 2029. Not Liverpool, once so entertaining but now such a grind to watch that the BBC has to punch up their tedious shenanigans with an uplifting bongo soundtrack. And not Southampton, who have almost certainly left it too late under self-appointed messiah Nathan Jones with their one-in-a-row sequence of result.
All of which leaves Spurs, who are currently closest of the chasing pack, and yet mentally so very far away. A five-point gap between themselves and fourth-placed champions-elect Manchester United (sorry to vocalise your inner fears, Arsenal fans, but there it is) shouldn’t be insurmountable. But it is when the manager is harping on like this! “In England, there is a bad habit that there is only the coach to speak and to explain,” begins Antonio Conte, the rest of his broadside barely audible over gusts generated by his furiously wagging finger. “I have never seen the medical department come here to explain why this player is having difficulty to recover … [WAG WAG WAG] … I have never seen the club or sporting director come here to explain the strategy and vision of the club … [WAG WAG WAG] … If only the coach speaks there are sometimes misunderstandings … [WAG SWISH ADMONISH TUT WAG to fade].”
To the contrary, Antonio, for nobody could misunderstand what you’re really saying here: Tottenham’s travails are not your fault. Spurs have been a hard watch under Conte’s 3-4-2-0-0-0-1 yoke this season, so much so that they could really do with the addition of some BBC spank FX to seXXX up the show. Conte however has put the anti-Blanchflowerian lack of glory, glory football down to “the characteristics of your players, of your defenders” rather than his conservative tactics. None of his patter seems particularly conducive to geeing up the troops before a crunch game at Manchester City that offers an opportunity to eat into some of that aforementioned gap, does it? Then again, maybe that’s not the point of loudly calling out just about everyone else at the club including your notoriously stern boss. But whatever could the point be?
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“The discriminatory language outlined is simply shocking. Given the seriousness of the incidents detailed, it is very hard to understand how the panel have concluded [this]. We do not share that viewpoint. The behaviour outlined in the report must be called out for exactly what it is: racism and Islamophobia. Furthermore, to reduce his prolonged string of offensive, Islamophobic and racist remarks to simply being ‘misplaced jocularity’ shows a total lack of understanding about the damage that this language can cause or the power dynamics that exist in the game” – Kick It Out condemns an FA independent panel for concluding that former Crawley manager John Yems is “not a conscious racist” in its written reasons for his 15-month ban. The FA has also stressed it “fundamentally disagreed” with the findings.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
“I’m having a hard week, so if you’re planning anything else along the lines of Wanderers 5-4 Wanderers (yesterday’s Football Daily), could you include some diagrams and encouraging captions? I’m really not coping with the concept of Multiverse Wolves. God help us all if Wolverine somehow gets written into the sequel. Yours (tired and emotionally)” – Richard Brind.
“I would like to bring to your attention that Wanderers – and, by that, we mean the original Wanderers – are very much in existence, and have been since 2009. I reformed the club for charity, with the support of the descendants of the Alcock family who both founded Wanderers (originally Forest Club) in 1859, who sat on the committee of the FA since its first meeting in 1863, and proposed the creation of the FA Cup in 1871. We launched a men’s XI in 2011 and a women’s XI in 2012. We restaged the first FA Cup final at The Oval against the Royal Engineers in 2012, covered by the excellent Barney Ronay. Have toured nine times throughout Europe. I was honoured to be able to walk the oldest FA Cup, owned by the late David Gold, on to the Wembley pitch before last season’s FA Cup final. We currently run four teams, training sessions, and matches, aiming to be accessible and affordable for south Londoners, while raising money for mental health charities. Potential fans are welcome to follow us on Twitter or Instagram too” – Mark Wilson.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’ the day is … Mark Wilson.
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