It has been said that there is no such thing as a good tweet. While that remains up for debate, no one would deny the existence of those that are unfathomably bad. This is the Input Bad Tweet Hall of Fame.
ENTRY #009: The United States Marine Corps
Pride Month is officially here, and you know what that means: Time for Woke Capitalism to do its thing, y’all! As we gird ourselves for the coming onslaught of hollow vows from Uber, ExxonMobil, and Amazon in support of vaguely defined “equality” while they actively usher us into a dystopian hellscape, one group has made sure to put itself out there and pull for LGBTQ+ rights — I’m talking, of course, about the United States Marine Corps.
Earlier today, the official USMC Twitter account posted, “Throughout June, the USMC takes #Pride in recognizing and honoring the contributions of our LGBTQ service members,” and were sure to remind everyone that they are “committed to fostering an environment free from discrimination, and defend the values of treating all equally, with dignity and respect.” Accompanying the simultaneously bland and violently hypocritical sentiment: A Photoshopped army helmet emblazoned with “Proud to Serve” alongside rifle rounds dyed the colors of a Pride rainbow.
Attention, Marines! You have been officially drafted into the Bad Tweet Hall of Fame.
Devoid of its author, the USMC’s tweet reads like pretty much any other empty corporate Pride Month sentiment. But unlike those other empty corporate sentiments, this one surreally implies it is celebrating LGBTQ individuals’ ability to kill other human beings. You know, just like the Straights do! The added rainbow palate of ammunition is just the perfect accoutrement for this instant classic of a Bad Tweet. The imagery, the bland messaging, the complete erasure of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’s abject failure. Truly, a tweet that came here to both literally and metaphorically slay.
There is so much wordplay right there for the taking, but they couldn’t be bothered to utilize any of it. Look:
- Marines: Proud to serve... looks!
- Call in the Marines? Don’t threaten us with a good time!
- USMC: BORN TO
KILLSLAY - Marines: Boot Camp? Try Stilettos
See? That took me two minutes. Meanwhile, the Marines have roughly a $50 billion annual budget comprised of taxpayer money and what do we get for it? Precision-grade Photoshop work and the crushing reminder that “progress” in this country is our military finally deciding anyone can kill for them, regardless of gender preference or sexual orientation.
