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Jasmine Norden

The Leeds man who started drinking at 5am and how he and his friend have battled their alcohol addiction

Two Leeds men have spoken out about their battles with alcoholism and how they've since turned their lives around.

Dean Smith, 51, and Jamie Heselden, 44, struggled with alcoholism and drug addiction in the past that left them suicidal and 'cost them everything'.

Since then, they've both worked hard on recovery - and are now giving back to others in similar situations.

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Dean, from Farnley, told LeedsLive: "Whenever I wasn't able to deal with situations, emotions or anything - I drank. It stopped the thoughts and feelings but then they'd all come back when I sobered up so I'd drink more. And before long I was addicted. I'd wake up on a morning shaking and just put it down to bad nerves and depression.

"I didn't think there was anything wrong with drinking at 5am and going to work. I'd drink at work at lunchtime. It sends you insane. I couldn't tell right from wrong and real from surreal. It cost me my marriage, it cost me everything at the time.

"I ended up homeless, incontinent, just 7 and a half stone in 2006 and I tried to commit suicide three times in that year because I couldn't cope anymore.

"Eventually after my third suicide attempt of that year in October I went to a 12 step meeting and worked from there. And now I haven't physically taken a drink or a drug for 15 years."

Dean, a landscape gardener, said his drinking became heavier in his early 20s, when it started to increase from the weekend into his weeks.

After his third attempt to take his own life, Dean decided to go to rehab. With support, he found things started to improve very quickly.

"Asking for help is the most important thing. being an alcoholic back then it felt like ' no one else feels like this, no one else drinks like I do or does things like me' but in actual fact there are lots of people who do. Once I started going to meetings things changed straight away and I just didn't want to die anymore," he said.

"I started wanting to not be in pain rather than wanting to turn off the lights entirely. I went through the 12 steps, began looking at myself, making amends where I can for all the things I've done wrong in my life - and that meant helping others."

Dean and Jamie met in recovery years ago, and have been friends ever since.

Dean and Jamie both said they lost everything to alcohol (Recovery Runners/Leeds Run Routes)

Jamie, who lives in Oulton, recalls the day of his last drink vividly; September 29, 2015.

He told LeedsLive: "I was told if I didn't stop I'd have 6 months left to live. My eyes were yellow, my teeth were yellow. I was about 8 or 8 and half stone. I wasn't eating, I was just drinking."

Jamie also remembers finding his drinking was getting out of control in his early 20s as he enjoyed being life of the party.

"Basically it got a grip of me. It just got worse. It cost me my marriage and my family. I went into rehab at 30 and I came out thinking 'this is great'. I did 9 months without a drink and I felt brilliant, but it didn't last," he said.

"I was doing it to get my wife back, and that was all the wrong reasons. I went on a double date and felt like I needed to drink and before I knew it again it had a grip of me again for the next seven years."

Jamie, a property developer, met his current partner 10 years ago, who he credits with supporting him through his recovery, but still continued drinking for two years.

He said: "All of a sudden I'm at the doctors throwing up blood and they tell me I have 6 months.

A Recovery Runners session (Recovery Runners)

"They didn't make me stop at first. I was still being selfish even though my family were pleading with me to stop. I'd go out to the petrol station near where I lived in Colton and I'd get 8 cans every morning and try hide them around the house. And then I'd phone someone and ask them to pick me more up.

"I was so sick and wasn't eating. And then one Wednesday night I just surrendered to myself. I was in the ensuite next to my bedroom, crying, throwing up blood and and I realised I needed help. I was in bed for 3 days hallucinating as I came off it.

"My partner and my son really helped. I didn't know who or where I was for 3 days. On October 4, I went to a meeting and someone told me if I kept going back I would be okay. I floated out of the meeting and I've never had the desire to drink again."

Dean and Jamie have both worked hard on their recoveries since, and both found a passion in common; running.

Both of them remembered how the positive feeling and feedback they got from completing runs was addictive in its own way, but made them feel much more positive.

Dean joined South Leeds Lakers and Jamie joined Rothwell Harriers, and eventually decided they could do something more with their new passion as well as running marathons across Europe.

Completely separately, Dean began volunteering taking recovering addicts running at Growing Rooms, part of St George's Crypt, while Jamie began doing the same at Spacious Places.

After struggling to keep the initiatives going during the pandemic, they met for a walk at Temple Newsam in January 2021, and came up with the idea of Recovery Runners - a running group for people struggling with addiction or alcoholism.

Both Dean and Jamie enjoy getting to help people (Recovery Runners)

They thought it would be small, but after Dean put the group on social media it grew very quickly, and expanded to include "anyone whose life has been rocked by something", as Dean put it, from people struggling with their mental health, cancer survivors, those affected by Covid, and many more.

They let people run at whatever pace they can, and focus on building them up slowly in a way that makes them feel good.

They decided to apply for grants, and have ended up with their own hub for the Recovery Runners at The Glas Box on Leeds Dock, where the group meets every Sunday and has done since August 1, 2021.

For Dean and Jamie, the group means the world.

Dean said: "For me now it's about doing the right thing and helping other people.

"I try and do the right thing. Sometimes I fail drastically and dramatically but I'm nowhere near the person I used to be. I'm not sure what person I'm striving to be but I'm no longer that person that wet the bed, went out and caused havoc and always blacked out. I just want to be there for other people.

"It means everything to me because I had nothing to give anybody. All I did was take, I just want to try and give back and help other people. you have to give away what you have freely to be able to benefit from it. I now feel compelled to help people. I love seeing the process of when people start to the progression."

Jamie added: "It's amazing being able to give back and help even one person. I'm a good listener and I'm always here for people to offload to me and point people to more help, take them to a meeting if they want to.

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"I love helping people. I wouldn't wish I used to be on anyone, it's like a big spiral staircase - every time you try to climb up you slip down. If I can give what I learned to just one person that's great."

Research from Leeds Run Routes and Leeds Mind alongside the Recovery Runners investigated how running could help people recover from addiction and aid mental health.

It found that running can help bust stress, aid emotional processing and better sleeping habits - all of which are linked to better mental health.

Dean and Jamie have since won a Community Champion award for their efforts.

Jamie said: "I couldn't function without a drink towards the end, I couldn't shower. In my future I've built now I do stuff I used to say I was going to do in the pub pissed. I've been skydiving, which is something I always wanted to do.

"My life now is 10 times better than it was."

You can follow the Recovery Runners here on Instagram and here on Facebook to find out how to get involved.

To get the latest email updates from LeedsLive, click here.

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