The kindness of strangers: when I found out my cancer had spread, the woman in the next bed reached out

‘We talked all night – about our childhoods, our foibles, our mistakes, our mutual past as surfer chicks, her time as a party girl, my kid, her not having kids.’ Illustration: Victoria Hart/Getty Images/Guardian Design

I’ve had more good sex than most people have had hot dinners, so when I found a lump in my breast and knew straight away it was cancer, I thought this is fine. I’ve had my fun. I’ll have a mastectomy, get it done and get on with my life.

But when I came out of surgery, I was wheeled into a hospital room shared with one other woman. The doctors closed the curtain around us, sat down and told me the cancer had spread to my lymph nodes and my other breast. I would need a second mastectomy and an extensive course of chemo. I felt as if I’d been hit by a truck. I couldn’t believe it.