Ali v Inoki (1976)
Promoted as “The War of the Worlds”, Muhammad Ali taking on Japan’s biggest pro-wrestling star Antonio Inoki was a contest that helped inspire modern mixed martial arts and ended with the world heavyweight champion in hospital. Unfortunately, the in-ring action was a total flop. Originally planned as a staged contest, Ali reportedly got cold feet beforehand about engaging in a “fixed” fight and a baffling set of crossover rules were hastily cobbled together. Ali fought in boxing gloves, Inoki did not but was prohibited from grappling, throwing or kicking, unless he had one knee on the canvas. Wisely, Inoki chose to lie down, away from Ali’s fists and land a series of leg kicks while the boxer tried to goad him into standing up. This lasted 15 interminable rounds. By the end Ali had blood clots in his swollen right leg, the bout was declared a draw and the crowd in Tokyo pelted the ring with rubbish while chanting “money back!” There really was no winner here.
Mayweather v McGregor (2017)
An eye-wateringly successful event, generating $600m in worldwide revenue, all to answer the eternal question: can a non-boxer beat the world’s best boxer … at boxing? Floyd Mayweather was 40 years old and semi-retired when he chose to fight the UFC’s biggest name, Conor McGregor, in a Las Vegas heist. McGregor actually gave a good account of himself in the early rounds. But it soon became clear that his MMA striking power had not translated from the octagon to the boxing ring and Mayweather took over then stopped the tiring Irishman in round 10. Unsurprisingly the pugilist with a 49-0 record beforehand had beaten the fighter with a 0-0 slate. Yet both made so much money – over $100m each – that Mayweather continued cashing in with a series of exhibitions against kickboxers, YouTubers and Geordie Shore “stars”. The sweet science indeed.
Foreman v five (1975)
“George Foreman versus five guys” is not the old grill salesman promoting a fast food chain. Instead, it was the highly unusual way promoter Don King chose to bring the brooding heavyweight back after his epochal defeat by Ali in Zaire. The concept: Foreman would fight five journeymen, in three-round contests, one after another, in Toronto. The first blow to Foreman’s psyche was the presence of Ali as a ringside TV pundit and the two regularly exchanged jibes and glares. “Muhammad Ali and his antics brought on the atmosphere of a circus,” Foreman later griped (though perhaps, in an event where the headline act is crushing five tomato cans, the circus-ship had already sailed). Foreman seemed confused about how to approach it all, sometimes bludgeoning opponents with his vaunted power, at other times showboating and winding up comedy haymakers. He stopped his first three foes but, as he tired, the last two survived the distance. Each bout had all the trappings of a pro fight but none ended up on Foreman’s official record. Thanks for nothing, Don.
Berbick v Takada (1991)
Trevor Berbick is probably best known for being violently separated from his WBC heavyweight world title by a 20-year-old Mike Tyson, the Jamaican left flopping around the ring on rubbery legs. But that is not the most humiliating defeat on his record. In 1991, Berbick travelled to Tokyo for a bout imaginatively titled “Boxer v Wrestler” against Japan’s Nobuhiko Takada. Berbick, wearing boxing gloves with Takada in wrestling attire, had either misunderstood the rules or expected a WWE-style staged fight. Because when Takada began with a vicious kick to the legs, a shocked Berbick complained bitterly to the referee. He gestured angrily that Takada should keep his kicks above the waist but his opponent stuck to his plan. Berbick grabbed the referee, held the top rope and eventually, after one hefty kick too many, clambered between the ropes and marched into the crowd never to return. The fight had lasted less than one round and Berbick did not throw a single punch.
Flintoff v Dawson (2012)
Cricketer v boxer. At last! In a more innocent time, before celebrity and influencer boxing became a tedious cash cow for the untalented, there was something quite wholesome about Ashes hero Andrew Flintoff getting himself in terrific nick to fight a real heavyweight boxer. Albeit not a very good one. Still, Freddie did it the right way, joining up with a top trainer in Shane McGuigan and getting a British licence in order to fight American Richard Dawson in Manchester.
Flintoff was game, pawing forward with admittedly less accuracy than he once displayed when targeting a batsman’s stumps. Though Dawson, in notably flabbier shape than Flintoff, landed the fight’s best punch – a chopping left hook that sent the home favourite down. In true Rocky style, however, Flintoff got up and outworked Dawson to earn a close four-round decision win. “As a personal achievement I think this is the best,” said Flintoff afterwards, a two-time Ashes winner and the 2005 ICC cricketer of the year, which may have caused a few raised eyebrows in the Long Room. Smartly, the all-rounder never fought again, his unbeaten record for ever intact.
Galento v octopus (1946)
“Two-Ton” Tony Galento was a colourful, cigar-chomping, hard-punching, hard-drinking heavyweight contender best known for losing to Joe Louis in a 1939 world title fight. What he was next-best known for was his willingness to fight anyone or anything including, alas, a kangaroo, a bear and an octopus in PR stunts. Clearly animal protection had a long way to go. Reports of his tussle with the giant mollusc vary wildly, with one contending that by the time the stocky heavyweight lowered himself into the tank, the octopus was already dead (giving Galento a distinct edge). Another account contends that after the boxer poked out a tentative jab, the octopus squirted him with ink causing an alarmed Galento to leap out of the water – a clear TKO victory for the eight-limbed oceanic champ.
Thankfully, for all the sport’s myriad faults, such a contest is not something considered acceptable in the 21st century. Though, unless Francis Ngannou really can shock the sporting world, Tyson Fury against a colossal cephalopod might make for a more competitive bout than a debutant from MMA taking on the world’s best heavyweight in Saudi Arabia.
