Venturing into a department store or supermarket at the moment is, with Jingle Bell Rock blaring out of loudspeakers, aisles stacked to the ceiling with overpriced tubs of Quality Street and checkout assistants completely devoid of festive cheer wearing sparkly Santa hats, a harrowing experience.
Do we really have to endure this vulgar orgy of rampant consumerism for endless weeks, for months even, every year? Could rapacious retailers not leave it until December at least until they hang up the tinsel and fill their shelves with Yuletide logs? Or Christmas Eve possibly?
It always pays, of course, to look ahead. Leaving your shopping until the last minute, something your Grinch-like correspondent is very guilty of, puts you at risk of not getting exactly what you are after. It is far better to move early and ensure you snap up the gifts your nearest and dearest desire.
The same rule applies in football. Is it too soon to start thinking about what areas clubs need to strengthen in during the January transfer window? Not at all.
Recruitment gurus around the country have already identified numerous targets they believe can increase their prospects of success this season and beyond. Fans, too, are flooding social media with the names they want their heroes to go for. Some of them are even realistic.
Top of Rangers supporters’ wish list just now – and for some considerable time in fact – is a new right-back.
The dip in form that James Tavernier suffered towards the tail end of the 2023/24 campaign as the Ibrox club’s Scottish title challenge unravelled prompted many fans to call for him to be offloaded during the summer. His subdued performances this term have done little if anything to silence his detractors.
There were certainly no angry protests in the stands when the Englishman was left on the bench in the William Hill Premiership match against St Mirren in Govan last month or in the Europa League league phase game against Olympiacos in Greece earlier this month. Quite the opposite.
Yet, there appears to be no obvious deputy for the Rangers captain. Neraysho Kasanwirjo, the young Feyenoord loanee, slotted in on the right side of defence in the 2-1 win over St Mirren and Dujon Sterling did so in the 1-1 draw with Olympiacos. Both men were perfectly decent.
But neither of them really suggested they were significant upgrades on Tavernier in those outings. They certainly failed to contribute as much going forward as their much-criticised and often unfairly-maligned skipper has done on so many occasions in the past.
Plus, Kasanwirjo is set to be unavailable for some time after suffering an injury in the Netherlands Under-21 game against England Under-21 in Almere on Monday night. So bringing in another specialist right-back in January is necessary, not just desirable.
Rangers have to address the issue now and must start making enquiries about prospective replacements to ensure they get in top-quality cover next month once the window has opened.
Fortunately for them, there is a ready-made stand-in out there, a player who has proven himself at the highest level with both club and country, an individual whose attacking prowess and physical attributes are renowned, a defender who has a strong affinity with the Glasgow giants and understands their expectations.
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Bringing back Nathan Patterson on loan from Everton is a no brainer for them on so many different levels.
The 23-year-old, who moved to Goodison Park in a £11 million transfer back in 2022, has not been sighted since coming off with a tendon injury in a 6-0 defeat to Chelsea in April. He has, though, returned to training in recent weeks and has played, and by all accounts played well, for their Under-23 side on more than one occasion.
But will he be a regular starter in the first team on Merseyside when he is fully fit? There is no guarantee. His time down south has been disappointing. Rumours about his relationship with manager Sean Dyche persist. He has, as his poor displays for Scotland against the Netherlands and Northern Ireland in March highlighted, regressed rather than pushed on and fulfilled his vast potential.
A return to the club where he launched his career may well, then, be appealing to both him and his parent club. He desperately requires regular game time to force his way back into the national set-up before the World Cup qualifiers get underway next year and he would get that at Ibrox.
Patterson is the only right-sided defender currently available to Dyche with Seamus Coleman also out just now and there is speculation he could make his comeback in the Premier League meeting with Brentford today. But even if he does, and it is a big if, it is debatable that he has a long-term future at Everton?
Going for a footballer who has been plagued with injuries for the past couple of years would perhaps be something of a gamble. Rangers can ill-afford to have another highly-paid player who spends more time on the treatment table than the pitch. They have quite enough of them.
But signing Nathan Patterson, even just until the end of the season, could be the best Christmas present their supporters, and their manager Philippe Clement, could hope for.
