I think it’s fair to say that you know you’re going to have a decent lunch when a man approaches your table wearing fireproof gauntlets and carrying a metal bucket full of flaming hot bricks. This is what happens at Emoji, a slightly ridiculous, but also ridiculously brilliant place tucked away among the halls of residences, sandwiched between Man Met and Man Uni.
The other week, after rolling out of the Peace Garden - where Peking roast duck reached new heights - this place appeared like a shining beacon of silliness on the other side of the road. It was yellow and black, and covered in cartoon emojis.
It’s a bold theme choice, certainly. Interest was piqued further on peering through the window, upon which you realise that each table has a barbecue pit sunk into it, and a retractable extractor snaking up into the ceiling, and everyone’s cooking their own food over it.
Indulge in more of Ben Arnold's food writing covering Greater Manchester...
-
One of Stockport's best takeaways is run by an ex-footballer and tucked away by Cash Converters
-
The takeaway inside an ex-council house in Blackley serves the 'best curry you'll ever have'
-
A guide to enjoying life in one of Manchester's favourite suburbs
You don’t pass something as novel as that and then continue on with your life as if you’ve never seen it. You go back and you try it out, so here I am a week or so later looking at a big open fridge groaning with skewers of lamb, beef and pork belly, chicken wings, peppers, mushrooms, tofu, all kinds of wonders.
Next to it, there are condiments, seasonings, spices, herbs, oils, vinegars and sauces, just waiting to be rubbed onto your chosen ingredients before being grilled, or slathered on liberally afterwards. There are also digital temperature probes to use too, and brushes to paint your food with glistening chilli oil and minced garlic.
Rewind a few minutes, and a lady is telling me off for not knowing what I’m doing, which is fair enough really. “What are you doing, you cook your own food! Go!” she says, because I’m just sitting there.
To be fair, it’s a lot to take in - the red hot coals, the fire extinguishers fixed to the side of each table. After I’ve come back to my personal barbecue, she tells me off - she’s quite stern, but nice and polite, and probably just thinks I’m an idiot, which is fair - a couple more times for doing things wrong, but I’ve soon got the hang of things.
There’s a regular menu of noodles and rice dishes, but the USP here is the all you can eat barbecue situation. It’s £24.99 for the ‘classic’ and £29.99 for the ‘premier’, which comes with seafood thrown in - scallops, oysters, squid and octopus, all ready to be grilled. A plate of vermicelli noodles or fried rice comes with the BBQ price.
I start off timidly with a scallop on the grill. I give it a few minutes, flip it once it’s got a bit of char on it, and then cover it in minced garlic and chilli oil. Plucking it off, I find I’m congratulating myself on its expert cooking, it’s just right, and then the oyster goes on to cook in its shell.
Soon enough I’ve got a barbecue loaded up with skewers upon skewers, and they’re fizzing and spitting away; lamb that I’ve rubbed with salt and cumin and a special ‘Emoji’ spice blend, king prawns, cubes of steak with garlic and sesame, strips of spicy, Korean style pork belly, and I’ve rarely been happier.
The skewers have little gear wheels which slot into a track which moves back and forth, meaning the turning is all done for you. All you have to do is wait, which is the hardest bit.
It appears how many times you can burn your mouth during a meal here is potentially unlimited, because once those skewers are off the coals and dragged through a variety of condiments, not shoving them straight into your mouth is close to impossible. After I remove a piece of belly pork from the grill and glaze it all over with chilli oil and satay, I feel like a proud toddler at a painting class. I want to show the lady to show I’m not an idiot anymore.
And indeed kids - perhaps not toddlers, what with the proximity to open fire and all - will love it here, and there’s even marshmallows and Chinese buns to grill at the end of the meal, though the former will slide off the skewers and into the coals if you’re not careful. Even if you are careful, actually.
Sure, you can cook your own dinner at home. But who wants to do that? This is loads more fun.
28 Higher Cambridge St, Manchester M15 6AA
Get the latest What's On news - from food and drink to music and nightlife - straight to your inbox with our daily newsletter.
Read more of today's top stories here
READ NEXT:
-
'I found Manchester's best sandwich down a very dodgy looking backstreet'
-
Why the Jewish Museum's award-winning Cheetham Hill café is 'good for the soul'
-
Family, faith and 'the best' doughnuts: Life in Manchester's oldest kosher bakery
-
The takeaway inside an ex-council house in Blackley serves the 'best curry you'll ever have'
-
One of Stockport's best takeaways is run by an ex-footballer and tucked away by Cash Converters
