By now, most major fast food outlets will have launched their festive special. There is no established framework for what “festive” means, and no recognised metrics of Christmassyness. It could be indicated by a lurid green/angry red colour in a place you’re not expecting it (McDonald’s Grumble Pie, I’m looking at you); or an existing thing, made into a more seasonal shape, or the introduction of a quintessential Christmas ingredient, such as a brussels sprout (though seriously, food giants, get over yourself if you think it’s cinnamon – this is an autumn spice).
I am not here to critique the essentials of fast food (I love it). If you want someone who will come over like the critic in Ratatouille, you’re just going to have to go and rewatch Ratatouille. I am merely here to eat six festive specials, and ask myself: do I feel Christmassy, punk?
