Next time it is Pastry Week! With two bakers leaving too (thoughts and prayers to Saku and Rowan.) And remember we’re back on Tuesday too.
Thanks for your lovely comments and feedback on this liveblog, as always. At a dark time, this place is a 75 minute ray of sunshine.
See you on Tuesday babes.
And nobody is leaving the tent this week.
This is because Tasha is ill, so they decided to roll over to week, with two bakers leaving. No baker leaving is perfectly understandable, but the constant threat of double departures always feels a bit too high stakes for Bake Off.
I said it at the start and I’ll say it again… some traditions never change!
Star Baker is… Matty.
Phenomenal. I thought that Matty was going to make an early exit, especially after an underwhelming Cake Week. But he’s improved each and every week, and has gained so much confidence too. It is such a delight to see.
what. a. response.
This is not Cristy’s week at all, but I think she’s safe for this week.
Same with Saku. Her textures and flavours have come through intact.
Saku’s reaction? “I’m done with chocolate. No more chocolate. In my life. Ever.”
Nicky’s bake, while perhaps overpowered with her flavours, has got rave reviews. Rowan looks rather exposed this week, if any baker is going home that is.
Nicky’s ‘This is No Ordinary Chocolate Box’ Cake Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/z5NODemKAT
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 18, 2023
Josh’s piping has been criticised, even though they only had four hours to bake the whole thing.
“I would complain that I have too many nuts in my mouth,” says Paul, who is seemingly being paid per innuendo these days.
Josh’s ‘Chemistry Centenary’ Chocolate Box Cake Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/LGZM66O5oe
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 18, 2023
Rowan, in his own words, has had a bit of a mare. Usually when this happens, he receives compliments for his flavours, but this week they haven’t come through.
Rowan’s ‘Grandpa’s Paints’ Chocolate Box Cake Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/jNYv7xd2VE
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 18, 2023
Prue: “I think it is really impressive. It is more impressive from a distance.”
Not sure that’s as much of a compliment as you think it is, Prue.
Her legs fell off her horse so it looks like they’re sitting down.
“They’ve just had a long day,” she said. Gosh, I love her eternal optimism.
Dan must be counting his lucky stars that he didn’t go home last week. His showstopper has great flavours, even though it is technically a pudding. He’s safely through to next week.
Dan’s ‘A Treasure Chest of Delight’ Chocolate Box Cake Showstopper. #GBBO pic.twitter.com/JQDXvVivhT
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 18, 2023
Prue to Matty: “Let’s get your top off.”
THE BOX everyone THE BOX. Calm down.
And now it is time for the showstopper judging
Starting with Matty, whose bake has lost its shine but has been complimented for its flavours. He’s really done himself proud this week.
So who do we think is going home … if anyone is going home?
we stan our positive queen
All the bakers seem to have struggled there, but Dana remains such a positive force despite every setback.
She couldn’t get her horse’s legs out of the mould, so as a result she presented them without legs saying “they’re all sitting down.”
Always with a smile on her face.
Dan is helping Saku complete her bake as she’s completely behind.
And Rowan. Rowan’s showstopper looks like a coffin.
“This is the worst thing I have ever baked.”
However much Love Productions are paying the staff who are cleaning up after the bakers each challenge, it isn’t enough after this week.
While Saku and Matty are having to remake their chocolate sponges, Rowan and Nicky are having to scale back their attempts due to timing.
And Dana’s bake is not coming out of the mould. If I was her I would just present the bowl.
Cristy is talking about her bake: “This is dedicated to my husband.” DING DING DING!
Tension that you only find on Bake Off #1,000,475:
Dana cannot successfully remove her chocolate horse legs from the moulds.
Paul is shocked to hear that Rowan has not practised his chocolate box showstopper, until he hears that Rowan has just finished university this week.
Yes, Paul. There are things more important than Bake Off. Who would have thought?
I don’t know about you, but Paul and Prue could save a lot of time by just saying “It has to taste nice and look nice” in their individual interviews at the start of each challenge.
The showstopper has to be an edible chocolate box.
Why? Because life is like one, probably.
Every time the hosts ask Paul and Prue about how well the bakers are doing.
Paul: “I’m a little disappointed.”
Well, I’m a bit disappointed Paul. The bakers didn’t have enough time in that technical.
The showstopper is filmed on a separate day to the signature and technical, but Tasha is still unwell so won’t be participating in the showstopper.
She has been allowed to compete next week, though. But a baker may still leave the competition this week. So with a baker possibly leaving and not leaving it is very much now Schrodinger’s tent.
Health first. Always.
— British Bake Off (@BritishBakeOff) October 18, 2023
We can confirm that Tasha has had to withdraw from Chocolate Week on Bake Off for medical reasons and will return in next week’s show. We can’t wait to see her back in the Tent and feeling much better. ❤️ #GBBO pic.twitter.com/lkvW9o3jeb
Saku laughing, then comes out with the line of the series so far:
“There’s a little hope for tomorrow. It’s a new day. A new bake. Still, old me.”
So … that technical challenge in a nutshell:
“They were rushed for time,” says Paul in a challenge that was too rushed for time.
Here’s a review of the baker’s attempts: Josh’s are overbaked and too caramelised. Cristy’s is messy as she piled on the topping while the cheesecake was still hot. Matty’s gets rave reviews (his face throughout looks traumatised.) Saku’s was rushed. Dan’s is good. Dana’s jelly was not smoothed. Rowan’s needed more time. And Nicky’s was deemed to be not that bad at all.
Ranking: 8. Saku (“it looked terrible,” says Paul. ) 7. Cristy (“It’s a bit of a mess, but tasted good.”) 6. Josh. 5. Dana. 4. Nicky 3. Rowan. 2. Matty. 1. Dan is back on top!
everyone calm down
It’s time for the technical judging
Starting with Josh, whose attempt is a little overbaked. Reader, I’m not used to this!
That was quite a challenge. Also a Bake Off first, where you end up thinking more about events outside the tent than within it.
Must be surreal for Paul and Prue to walk into a tent with one of the bakes not placed next to their corresponding photograph. I wonder if they were told and if they’ll draw attention to it.
While all of this has been taking place, the drama inside the tent appears to be Saku sounding like she’s from the Wizard of Oz, saying “it’s melllltttttinnngggg” while placing her cheesecakes in front of the gingham altar.
Tasha hasn’t recovered enough to finish the challenge, so she’s decided to withdraw from the day’s competition.
Gosh. Bakers have been unwell and have not participated before, but a baker has never withdrawn midway through a challenge. How gutting for her.
Oh no. A concerning development. Tasha is feeling dizzy and needs some air and has been advised to leave the tent while she recovers.
Is this an appropriate time to mention that the medic looks hot? No? OK.
The bakers are struggling in the heat. So is Alison, who accidentally drops her tray while fanning Matty.
Also, while I’m on this topic … when was there a hot day during the summer holidays?
Is this the first time we’ve ever seen a microwave in a technical? I believe it is.
And let’s all agree on the same thing: Prue not telling them how long to blast the white chocolate in the microwave is mean! What’s the point?
Goodness the person who writes the technical instructions on Bake Off really has their work cut out this week:
Bake the biscuit.
Bake filling.
Prue before the technical challenge: “You need perseverance and patience.”
Dana: “I don’t think there’s enough time to make a set of baked cheesecakes.”
Well done everyone. Stellar work.
The technical challenge is … six individual cheesecakes.
Yes, cheesecake doesn’t feel like it is suitable for chocolate week but they mentioned the word chocolate twice in the ingredients, so I think they’re fine.
Tasha’s torte needed a better finish and the amaretto drowned the flavour.
Saku’s writing on her torte has been criticised, but I think it is a stroke of genius.
And finally, Rowan’s chocolate torte is deemed “beautiful” by Paul.
So a mixed bag. Rave reviews for Nicky, Rowan and Dana.
Not such rave reviews for Dan (poor Dan) and Cristy.
But things are far worse for Cristy. Her leaf chocolates were never able to leave the moulds and her bake had “no real flavour.” Yikes.
It is still not going that well for Dan either, with his alcohol deemed to be “a little overwhelming.” And that was coming from Prue.
“It tastes amazing, but it is almost a pudding,” Paul says about Josh’s torte.
Wait. This is a criticism of Josh’s bake? Someone check my temperature.
Matty’s chocolate torte does look like a barbed wire fence, but his flavours have been complimented.
Dana’s also gets rave reviews, but would have been perfect if she had set it overnight. It’s a frankly weird criticism because, as we all well know, the bakers don’t have that as an option.
Now it is the signature judging …
Starting with Nicky, who says “the proof is in the pudding.” A chocolate torte is a pudding, so she’s on the right track.
Her almond torte looks stunning too.
“It’s elegant, classy and cool and the shine is amazing,” says Prue.
Totally agree. Saku is clearly a star of this series.
There does seem to be some genuine tension, though. Some of the bakers are having real difficulty cooling the glazing on their torte. Dan is also behind, so he’s whacked his bake into the freezer. Cristy’s moulds won’t come off properly, so it looks like she might present her bake without them.
“I’m so embarrassed,” she says.
Tension that you only find on Bake Off #576868:
Noel drops a bowl after hugging Dan like a baby, after Dan experiences a nozzle issue.
Tension that you only find on Bake Off #27475:
Dan put his torte on an uneven oven rack and now his torte has A TILT.
Alison has now invented a new catchphrase, yelling “KEEP BAKING!” midway through a challenge. Hilarious.
Wee Nicky: “It’s going to have a chocolate almond torte on the top.”
Paul Hollywood: “On the top? That’s brave.”
Paul is doing phenomenal things for the baker’s anxiety this week.
Narrator: “Once assembled, the tortes will slump and sag.”
Me watching this at home: same.
What’s that? Cristy mentioning a family member as an inspiration for her bake? My ears are burning!
Meanwhile, Matty has mentioned that he’s making a mousse, a praline, a glaze and a chocolate cremeux.
“Hopefully I haven’t done too much,” he says, while now doing a fifth thing – talking to Alison Hammond about the other four.
I love Dana’s constant optimism each week, especially when everything goes wrong.
She just admitted that the last time she attempted this signature it didn’t go well, with a smile on her face. She also admitted that she doesn’t even like chocolate torte.
Dana has real “This Is Fine” dog energy. Eternal optimism, regardless of the scenario.
$fine is pumping as we speak. This is $fine. We'll be #fine. pic.twitter.com/sXdmkdvSfR
— Aimee (@Aimee_2960) October 15, 2023
Paul to Tasha: “Twice Star Baker. I mean, that’s a big thing!”
Tasha’s thoughts: “Oh errrr thanks. OK.”
Paul: “To put ginger and chocolate is clever, a little bit risky as well.”
Tasha’s thoughts: “OH ERRRRRRR THANKS. OK.”
I’m sure there’s another reason for Paul and Prue visiting each workstation than just dishing out anxiety, but I’m unsure what it is.
Dan is doing a Mexican torte, throwing in a wheelbarrow of alcohol.
Prue: “I think it is too early. Even for me.”
Rowan always comes out with an unpredictable anecdote, such as the time he said that one of his favourite things, as a student, was to invite friends round for wine and charcuterie.
This week it is this: “I’m a coffee fiend. I can’t function without my four espressos.”
Phenomenal. And also, unrelated, worried!
Prue to Josh: “If you’re grinding your own nuts it is always difficult.”
No, I’m not taking any of this out of context.
Josh’s baking so far has been practically faultless, so I don’t doubt any of his ideas.
I enjoy that Saku has named her torte “Saku’s Saku Torte.”
And is just writing Saku on the edge, in the style of El Barto graffiti.
“They can show off a bit this week” says Prue, in a show where last week someone baked a plaited tiger and another baked a freestanding plaited tree.
The signature challenge is a chocolate torte … without wheat flour.
It isn’t ‘free from’ week by the way, but not sure they got the memo.
Can someone explain why they are not allowed to use wheat flour? Paul Hollywood mentioned alternatives the bakers could use, such as chestnut or almond flour, but they haven’t really explained why they don’t want wheat.
I said that chocolate week always takes place on the hottest day of the year. And so it is!
Although, I am starting to wonder when we had a hot day during the summer.
I do remember wearing shorts in October, mind. But in summer?!
Narrator: “Last time on Bake Off …”
CUE DANA’S GLASS BOWL EXPLODING INTO A MILLION PIECES.
That dodgy opening skit was entirely worth it for Alison Hammond’s uncontrollable laughter at the end.
It is also reality television armageddon tonight.
Bake Off is on at 8pm. Then at 9pm, in the final 15 minutes of the show, there’s Big Brother, Married at First Sight and Celebrity Race Across The World on the other channels. Madness!
In case you were loafing around last week and not paying attention to Bake Off’s bread week [I told you last week to stop it with all the bread puns - Ed], here is your knead-to-know guide [oh, for God’s sake]. I’m sorry, but I can baguette away with it.
Cristy, 33: Has dedicated nearly every one of her bakes to a family member or personal anecdote. It’s delightful, but I am starting to worry that she’s going to run out of family members or anecdotes.
Dan, 42: He owns 300 cookbooks, brews his own beer, grows his own rhubarb and last week revealed he forages his own garlic. He also barely made it through to this week, with nearly every one of his bakes going awry.
Dana, 25: She named her signature last week ‘Bread-ley Cooper.’ For that alone, she should be in the final.
Josh, 27: He baked a plaited tiger last week. It won’t come close to Paul’s fantastical bread lion, of course, but it was a bold attempt nonetheless.
Matty, 28: “I’m baking a West Ham badge,” Matty said during the bread showstopper. “And how are they doing?,” responded Alison. Matty did not reply.
Nicky, 52: She has so far said ‘wee’ seven times this series. Yes, I’ve counted. And then baked for her showstopper a bread Highland cow called Angus.
Rowan, 21: Made a cottage loaf inspired by a trip he took to Amalfi, then followed it up with “it’s a place I would never go back to.” 🥲
Saku, 50: Worried for her because even though she won last week’s technical, she then presented a showstopper that was underproved, bland and dry. She also played a game of impromptu cricket that resulted in a ball hitting Alison’s thigh.
Tasha, 27: Has won Star Baker twice, with a showstopper that resulted in Paul Hollywood saying “you understand bread, and I like that.” A clear frontrunner.
And we said goodbye to … Abbi! Delightful forager Abbi: “It has given me such a massive confidence boost and I have met such amazing people. I am going to remember it every day for the rest of my life.”
Hello babes and welcome back to Bake Off Guardian liveblog. I’m Scott Bryan.
The England v Italy game yesterday meant that we’ll be seeing action in the Bake Off tent a day later than usual. Eagle-eyed viewers among you will also notice that episodes of Bake Off from this week onwards are slightly shorter, reverting to 75 minutes rather than 90. This means fewer relentless ad breaks! Rejoice.
This week is chocolate week, back for the first time in three years. And of course, being chocolate week, it is inevitable that it will be the hottest day of the entire year so far, making it impossible for anything in the tent to set in time.
Some traditions never change.
