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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Scott Bryan

The Great British Bake Off 2022: episode five – as it happened

Matt, Noel, Paul and Prue on The Great British Bake Off.
Matt, Noel, Paul and Prue on The Great British Bake Off. Photograph: Channel 4 / Love Productions

Next week is Halloween Week! Cos why not.

During this week’s episode the sad news broke that Angela Lansbury died. Many of you have been discussing her great life in the comments, so thought that it was only right for her to have the final word this week.

Thank you so much for reading. See you next week.

And Carole is leaving the tent.

It felt like the right time, to be honest. But she was one of the most memorable contestants for such a long time.

She was always on the verge of chaos, but had such charm and warmth that you couldn’t just help fall in love with her.

We will always cherish the way she pronounced things too.

Star Baker is... Sandro!

His first win. And properly deserved.

That globe was absolutely splended.

Dawn looks dejected this week. She seems to have a proper wobble (no pun on her bake intended) but gets good marks for the texture of the mousse.

I reckon she’s through to next week.

Still Dawn is making light of the situation: “The surprise is that there’s nothing there.”

Carole gets compliments for her flavours but the bake is considered a bit too tough. If Dawn receives terrible reviews then she might be through to next week, but I think this also might be her last.

Sandro’s globe bake is astonishing. The fact that it has managed to hold its shape, even though it has been made with mousse, and it does not tough either. A real feat.

Paul and Prue have failed to see the positives on Syabira’s bake, saying that it lacked flavour.

She is not having a good week, but despite the criticism, I reckon she’s safely through to next week.

Janusz’s showstopper bake is absolutely stunning. Inside and out. Simply glorious.

Bake of the season so far I think.

Kevin’s dog design looks like Gromit from Wallace and Gromit.

It‘s enough to make Aardman proud.

Maxy’s sticky toffee pudding cake looks stunning, but has too much gelatine.

I don’t think she’ll get Star Baker but she’s safely through to next week.

Now it is time for the showstopper judging.

Starting with Abdul … that mirror glaze bake looks spectacular.

The mini planets looked like they’ve held their shape too.

Too much gelatine in some of the layers, according to Paul, but to be honest I don’t really care.

Some of the bakes in this challenge are the best of the series yet.

The mirror glaze on Abdul’s bake looks remarkable, Janusz’s rainbow cake is perfect and Sandro’s bake is truly out of this world.

“My mirror glaze is a bit lumpy,” says Carole.

Actually, never mind.

Dawn taking a sneak peak at the surprise to then find out that it messed up was just tempting fate. Surprising to think that Carole could be through to next week if she manages to pull this showstopper out of the bag. If Carole can get through it, there’s hope for us all.

Syabira has just decapitated a bee, while Kevin is being taught how to insert eyes into his dog.

I don’t know about you, but this Channel 4 series has taken a dark turn.

Sandro 400 times this challenge: “I am just going to check on my bake.”

*checks it*

Sandro: makes a little cackle to himself.

Maxy is making a sunset surprise revealing the sun, but this is the first time she has ever baked a mousse.

Goodness. Bold.

Dawn really appears to be having a wobbly week (this pun was not intended) with the flowers for her jelly bake completely disintegrating out of the moulds.

Abdul: “I am baking the entire galaxy.”

OK, stand down.

Sandro: “I am baking the entire planet.”

Starting to think Sandro is becoming a bit too ambitious.

Meanwhile Kevin’s bake consists of a bone buried in a garden. In practice he used a gingerbread man cutter as he didn’t have a bone one, so his bake looked like he was burying a man in the garden.

Noel is obviously thrilled by the whole thing.

Syabira’s bake is a “bee positive” mousse cake, which is her approach to this challenge after the knocks of yesterday.

Carole is doing a strawberry surprise with a gelatine strawberry in the middle. She’s also adding THIRTY leaves of gelatine to the mousse, which risks it having a consistency of a brick.

Is anyone finding it a bit ironic that a moment ago they were all being asked to bake a surprise and now they’re revealing what their surprises will be?

Anyway, in this week’s showstopper they have to create a mousse-based dessert, with a surprise inside.

Perhaps the surprise could be a showstopper that is not completely bonkers.

Right, on to the showstopper. And Paul Hollywood is bizarrely now being critical about some of the baker’s abilities before they have even had the chance to prove themselves.

“It’s a difficult one,” says Paul. “I’m not sure that the bottom bakers have got the skills to produce something that good.”

Matt Lucas plays devil’s advocate. “Maybe it is your fault for setting such a hard challenge,” he quips.

I know this is one of Matt’s jokes but to many people (including myself) it feels like a justified response.

Anyway, in last place is 8. Syabira (“too thick and too raw”), 7. Dawn (not enough filling.) 6. Carole. 5. Kevin. 4. Sandro. 3. Maxy. 2. Abdul (pretty good) and 1. Janusz!

Janusz is on his way to becoming Star Baker for a third time. And Abdul is having a really decent week so far. I’m thrilled for him.

Sandro is a bit leaky, Abdul has a cracked base, Dawn needs a good filling, Janusz has a proper crust, Carole is soggy all the way around, Kevin has holes all over the place, Syabira is raw and Maxy has a lovely crisp bottom.

Flusters sorry couldn’t resist.

And now it is time for the lemon meringue technical judging.

“You can see none of you needed a recipe” says Prue, before criticising every element of their bakes for not fitting her exact specifications that would have been evident in a recipe.

It is becoming quite evident that Syabira’s base is not baked properly, but then again she’s never had one before. I’m feeling for her.

Carole every 30 seconds: “It’s a bit rough and ready.”

Dawn every 30 seconds: “I bake a lemon meringue pie for my friends every Sunday.”

Syabira is frozen as a statue as she tries to work out whether or not to overly cook her base, while all the other bakers are confused about how long to cook their meringue.

Janusz: “You have to bake it for half an hour to make sure that it is crunchy on top and gooey inside.”

How does he do it?

I’m in two minds about this challenge … all of the bakers appear relatively upbeat about baking this technical with no instructions, yet it does feel unfair that Syabira is being tested on this when she hasn’t even baked one of these before.

Janusz is just reading aloud the recipe for a lemon meringue pie, as if he is telepathic.

Still, at least it isn’t the tacos from last week. So why on Earth have they done this?

Well, according to Prue, they should already know how to bake the constituent parts from their baking experience: “There’s the pastry shells, the lemon filling and there’s the meringue. Why do they need a recipe?”

Still, it feels pretty brutal.

This week’s technical challenge is to bake a lemon meringue pie.

And with a really harsh twist … there’s no method!

*nervous laughter*

WHAT’S THE POINT?

So Kevin and Carole at the bottom, Maxy and Janusz at the top I reckon.

Sandro, like Maxy, receives a load of compliments but no handshake. Weird.

Anyway James’ clootie dumplings are too stodgy and all of the viewers have a collective sense of dread as we head towards Carole.

Yet Carole’s bake tastes delicious, according to Prue. They just look like someone sat on them.

Meanwhile Janusz has criticism of overkill while he talks about his fake tan for some reason.

And Paul Hollywood uses a tanning solution? I can’t believe it!

Maxy doesn’t receive a single criticism, but fails to get a handshake! Ridiculous.

Dawn’s bake seems to have more topping than others. I can only sympathise.

Abdul has clearly been listening to the feedback from Paul and Prue, with his fig and date puddings judged to be “moist and delicious”.

I think he has the potential to be the underdog of the series.

Now it is time for the signature challenge steamed pudding judgments.

If Syabira doesn’t get compliments I’ll be steaming.

The watermelon tree looks so creative. She receives a “truly sensational” comment from Prue, but then criticism for using too much watermelon essence from Paul.

And, as always, she completely agrees with whatever comment Paul and Prue gives. At this rate I reckon she will be right up there in the final.

A. Christmas. Advert. In. October. Help.

Quickly becoming Catastrophe Carole, she still decides to decorate her bakes while they gloop on the table.

True polishing a turd energy. I love it.

Now it is time for the mould to reveal itself! And now Bake Off is becoming suddenly stressful.

Sandro, Dawn, Maxy and Janusz’s moulds seem to have held up OK.

Kevin’s looks a little dishevelled (a bit like when I’m personally steaming) but overall OK.

Now, we cross over to Carole – and they have all instantly fallen apart.

“Whatever happens, they’re coming out” – me to myself when I was 14.

In news that will surprise nobody, Carole is currently making the sound of a horse.

Abdul is trying to up his decorative skills after some negative feedback last week, and just said “everything is under control” in the least convincing way possible.

Janusz is making a piña colada steamed pudding and the illustrations look like a fancy Dalek.

Meanwhile Paul Hollywood: “I’ve had a piña colada on most continents actually.”

Matt: “It is important to make sure that the water for the steamed pudding is incredibly hot.”

Camera shows us Carole tipping lukewarm water into her tray.

I don’t know about you all but to me this feels like AN OMEN.

Syabira’s watermelon steamed puddings will crack open after being presented to Paul and Prue because of course they will. She’s such a genius.

Noel Fielding: “Kevin is paying homage to his Scottish roots.”

NO WAY. IS HE SCOTTISH??

Absolutely incredible.

Carole is burning her plums and calls chantilly “chin chilly,” as if she is a Dorset Mary Poppins.

The fact that Carole is still in this competition is a real inspiration to us all. The idea that if you mess up you can still stay around for far longer than you anticipate.

Paul repeatedly referring to Dawn as his Mum when Dawn is only a few years older than him is 100% awkward.

Sandro is baking a delightful looking apple and cherry crumble pudding, with a star on top.

The signature challenge is eight steamed puddings

They must be “served with an accompaniment of your choice” but never mind that –

SYABIRA HAS BROUGHT HER OWN STEAMER.

It is absolutely colossal. I hope the logistics of getting it to the tent were not too frightful.

Syabira says she reckons the judges are going to be more critical from now on.

Syabira! Where have you been?

Noel: “Last Week was Mexico week!”

Me: And let us never speak of Mexico week again.

Anyone want to fill them in?

We said goodbye to both James and Rebs last week. And we should note that the current standings are rather interesting at the moment. Maxy won Star Baker last week, bringing her total to two (biscuit week and Mexican week.) The only other person who has won twice is Janusz (cake week and bread week.)

It is remarkable that two of the other best bakers in the tent, Sandro and Syabira, both known for inspiring flavour combinations and exquisite-looking showstoppers, don’t currently have a Star Baker to their name.

Anyway before we get cracking, here is my COMMENT OF THE WEEK (which is reflecting on the challenges so far this series) and for any mango watchers out there, there have been three mangoes used so far.

Hello and welcome to the Guardian’s Bake Off liveblog. And … it’s dessert week!

Doesn’t that cover half of all baking? Yes!

Last week was the first ever Mexican week on Bake Off! And judging by the negative reaction and accusations of cultural appropriation (especially after the episode dropped internationally on Netflix), I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the last ever Mexican week.

Still, who could forget Carole deciding to cut open an avocado like a potato?

Updated

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