Michelle Harley and her mother Jasmina Pandevski laugh as they face the photographer. With matching light brown hair and wide smiles, they resemble a typical mother-daughter pairing, sharing a familial ease as they pose for the camera.
There's just one extraordinary exception: Jasmina, 52, is pregnant with Michelle and partner Jono's baby. "There's a lot of feelings that go along with this surrogacy journey," Michelle tells Australian Story. "Number one, it is so weird watching your mum pregnant with your own child."
"I certainly didn't expect that at 52 I'd be carrying my grandchild," Jasmina admits. "It's just, they need an oven and I have to cook it."
In addition to Jasmina defying the biological odds by acting as the couple's surrogate, Jono's sister Sophie Falzon, 34, stepped in to become their second surrogate, with the two women incredibly falling pregnant within seven weeks of each other.
"There's been, how is your sister pregnant with your baby," Jono laughs. "How does that work?"
As they've had to explain many times, Michelle and Jono are the genetic parents to both children, who were conceived via IVF.
"Our embryos were made from my eggs and Jono's sperm, so Mum and Sophie are just carrying and growing babies that are genetically ours," says Michelle, 31.
Yet, before the remarkable success of the surrogacies, Michelle and Jono's path to parenthood was one of immense pain, perseverance and unwavering love. The couple endured a challenging fertility battle in which they tragically lost their baby at 19 weeks — Michelle almost losing her own life in the process.
"Infertility sucks. It is just all consuming," Michelle says. "It's all you think about. It is all you want. You will do anything in order to become pregnant and have a child."
As the photographer directs the foursome into frame, the parents-to-be chat about the significance of the snaps. "We just thought it would be really nice to hang up a photo in their nursery so that they will always know where they came from," Michelle says.
"There will never be a moment where we sit them down and tell them, it will just always be, 'Oh, that's you in aunty Sophie's belly and that's you in grandma's belly'."
Jasmina adds: "The children will know from a very young age that this is their story. I think it's important for them to know how very much loved and wanted they are. And how their parents just did everything they possibly could to make that happen."
A painful journey begins
Even as a teenager, Michelle knew fertility issues would cloud her future. From the day she got her first period, she suffered excruciating levels of pain.
Anticipating a challenging road to motherhood, she had the foresight to begin saving money for what might lie ahead, starting an "IVF fund".
Sure enough, when she was in her mid-20s, a series of medical scans revealed she had a unicornuate uterus — a congenital disorder which means she has only half a uterus, with one ovary and fallopian tube instead of two.
Doctors explained this wouldn't prevent Michelle from carrying a baby, but it could complicate the pregnancy. "All the studies show there is an increased risk of obstetrical complication, like pre-term delivery," says obstetrician and gynaecologist Lionel Reyftmann.
The confronting discovery was somewhat tempered by the happiness she was experiencing in her personal life.
Michelle had started dating Jono Harley, who she had known since high school. While the pair had previously only been friends, a spark between them ignited. "I ran into him and I was like, 'Oh, you got attractive," Michelle laughs.
After a few years of dating, the pair were married in March 2019, throwing a "big European wedding" that paid tribute to Michelle's Macedonian heritage.
Michelle made it clear to Jono from an early stage that she might have trouble falling pregnant. "We started trying to conceive almost straight after we got engaged," Jono explains. "We didn't want babies there and then, but we knew it was going to be tricky, and we didn't want to be trying to get pregnant in our mid 30s when it would be harder."
After failing to conceive naturally, they turned to IVF in 2020, drawing on the funds Michelle had saved — but it was unsuccessful.
Watching their struggle from the sidelines, Michelle's mother Jasmina and Jono's sister Sophie both made silent, separate vows that they would offer to help if the time came.
"I knew Michelle really wanted to be a mother; she's a school teacher, she loves kids," says Jasmina, who has always had a very close relationship with her only daughter.
She recalls watching a program about an American woman in her 50s who had been a surrogate for her son. "I just thought, wow, that's amazing, and I filed it away in the back of mind," Jasmina says.
As a mother-of-three, Sophie, now 34, knew she could "step up" for her brother and his wife. "I remember thinking, well, I can carry a child, I could do that for them if it was necessary," she says.
'I don't think I have ever cried so uncontrollably'
In June 2021, Michelle and Jono fell pregnant following a much more successful IVF process of egg collection and embryo transfer. "I was overwhelmed with relief and gratitude that it had worked," Michelle says.
Yet, her instincts to self-protect kicked in immediately. "I was already onto baby names but Michelle was quite guarded," Jono says. "She'd say,' Why are you doing that?' Michelle would go to sleep and I'd whip out the phone on the other side of the bed and start writing down names in secrecy."
Michelle's fears were founded when she started haemorrhaging at seven weeks and was rushed to hospital. Incredibly, she didn't miscarry.
Doctors ordered bed rest, and the couple spent the subsequent months in a heightened state of anxiety. "I didn't let myself enjoy a single second of the pregnancy because I was petrified the entire time," says Michelle.
While desperate to reach her goal of 24 weeks — when the pregnancy would be considered viable — Michelle's waters broke after 18.
While the baby was able to survive for a few days, rising infection levels meant the couple were faced with the heart-wrenching reality of saying goodbye to the child they had so longed for.
"There were probably five other birthing suites there all with women screaming, giving birth, babies crying. And we're just stuck down the end, about to give birth to a baby that won't make it," Jono recalls.
Their tiny baby was born, and the devastated parents named their son Ralph. "I don't think I have ever cried so uncontrollably in my life," Michelle says. "I just felt like my body had failed my child and that I couldn't keep him safe for long enough."
Yet, their nightmare continued. When it was time for Michelle to push out the placenta, her body began haemorrhaging, and she was rushed into emergency. "I remember at that moment just thinking, 'Oh my god, I'm going to lose her'," Jono says. "I was thinking, 'What if she doesn't make it? I've got nothing left to live for'."
Fortunately, Michelle stabilised quickly, and the parents were able to spend some precious time with Ralph. "We're just so proud of him, he'll always be our son and a part of our family," Jono says.
For the couple's family, watching them confront such immense tragedy and trauma was "absolutely horrendous", Sophie says. "It was the worst time of our lives," adds Jasmina. "And for them, there was a deep sense of despair, because the doctors then told Michelle that it was too risky for her to fall pregnant again."
The surrogacy plan takes shape
Determined that they should have the family they so desperately wanted, Jasmina and Sophie knew it was time to action the backup plan they had both silently committed to.
In Australia, commercial surrogacy is illegal, meaning the only way it is possible is if someone volunteers to act as the altruistic surrogate.
"I knew nothing about surrogacy, but I knew that I would do it," says Sophie, who, having already had three children with husband Michael, had finished building her family. For Jasmina, there was the added drive to protect her daughter from the life-threatening situation she had narrowly escaped.
While the family had discussed surrogacy before, Michelle says "they weren't serious conversations". But things had changed. "My sister just said, 'No, I'm not allowing Michelle to fall pregnant again. I will be a surrogate for you'," Jono says. "And the same thing happened with Michelle's mum." Adds Jasmina: "We offered it to them without being asked, and I think they were really touched by that gesture."
For Michelle, the offer relieved the grief she was feeling around the prospect of never being able to have another child. "We were just so grateful that we had two people who wanted to do this for us."
The family took their ambitious plan to Dr Reyftmann, who was cautious but optimistic, advising extensive testing and psychological counselling.
"The surrogate is going to expose herself to all sorts of potential medical problems related to the pregnancy," Dr Reyftmann says. "For example, pregnant women after the age of 38 to 40 have a higher rate of gestational diabetes and hypertension."
While she was fit and healthy, Jasmina was close to being considered too old to carry a child, so the process had to progress as quickly as possible amid the many sessions of counselling. "A lot of the questions that they asked in counselling I didn't really feel applied to me," Jasmina says.
"They asked how would I feel about attachment to this child afterwards? It's not like I have to give it up and never see it again, I'll always be its grandma."
Sophie, who also wanted to fall pregnant quickly so she could resume her career, was similarly level-headed. "I never had any reservations about the emotional side of it," she says. "I prepared myself from the very beginning that at D-Day, bubs is out and straight into their arms."
Jasmina was first to go through the process, with doctors implanting one of the several embryos left from Jono and Michelle's previous IVF attempts.
She fell pregnant straight away. Remarkably, so did Sophie, just seven weeks later.
"I've never had a case like this in my career … and I was surprised that it worked that well, but I was very happy for them," Dr Reyftmann says.
With the exception of Jasmina contracting gestational diabetes — a common occurrence for older women — both surrogates experienced healthy and happy pregnancies.
While obviously incredibly grateful, the pregnancies were emotionally testing at times for Michelle, who had always longed to carry her own child.
"We'd go to Michelle's parents house for dinner and there would be tears in the car on the way home," Jono says.
Explains Michelle: "My feeling is 99 per cent gratitude, and 1 per cent jealousy. I also feel incredibly guilty, like I'm making them do this. But what is my other option? It is what it is."
'Without Sophie and Jasmina, we wouldn't have a family'
All the challenge and complexity that had dogged the couple for so long dissolved on December 12, when Hugo Jay Harley — the Jay for Jasmina — was born via caesarean.
The birth was "intense and emotional," says Jono. "All we wanted was a baby that was alive, to be honest."
Michelle struggled with the enormity of finally having the child she had longed for. "I was so excited, but I was in so much disbelief," she says.
"It took a while for me to realise it was real, and that I didn't have to be scared anymore."
As the new parents settled into life with a newborn, Jasmina was soon by their side helping them to adjust.
"It took me a few weeks to recover from the caesarean, but it was so worth it," she says
"Hugo was the best gift I could give my daughter and son-in-law."
Less than six weeks later, Sophie gave birth in a natural delivery that was particularly poignant for Michelle, who was able to assist.
"The midwife said to me, 'Do you want to pull the baby out?'," Michelle explains.
"I had never thought of that as an option, but I just loved it, it was so exciting and surreal."
While a sense of disconnect had permeated Hugo's birth, "I was able to let go of a lot of my anxiety and fears, so I was a lot more emotionally present for Spencer's birth," Michelle says.
The arrival of Spencer Louis Harley — a tribute to Sophie, whose middle name is Louise — was the final piece of the family puzzle Jono and Michelle had been trying to complete for almost five years.
"Hugo was born in 2022, in December, and Spencer was born in 2023, in January," Jono says.
"They're not twins. So I'm sure we'll always get the questions."
With both surrogates fully recovered and immersed in their own lives, the extended families have been able to revel in the wonder of their two newest members.
"It's amazing to watch Jono and Michelle become parents to their beautiful boys," Sophie says. "We've all been here for that entire roller-coaster ride and now they've got their dream family, and you can just see all the joy that they have."
Michelle admits to sometimes feeling overwhelmed with gratitude for what has transpired.
"Without Sophie and Jasmina, we wouldn't have a family," Michelle says.
"So is there an emotion big enough to explain how you feel, how thankful you are for people like that?"
By sharing their story, the couple hope to open up a conversation about infertility, and the challenge and trauma that can come with it.
"It's important to talk about … not only the good that's come from the story, but the loss that we had as well," Jono says.
"I think we owe that to Ralph. And just to let people know that these things happen to people. There's no point just sweeping it under the rug or just not talking about it."
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