I highly recommend owning a Vitamix, which sounds like an asshole thing to say because they can run you around $500 bucks. For those who don't know, Vitamix is like the Rolls Royce of blenders: they’ve got super strong blades that can blend anything, even your forearm — so be careful — and they never (or at least rarely) break. I'm kind of a clumsy guy, and I've dropped mine a few times, but it still works like a charm.
Full transparency: I did not buy my Vitamix from their website or a fancy department store. I actually got it from a guy named Trash Boy. We called him Trash Boy because that is precisely what he smelled like back when we played Little League. The dude smelled so bad that the first word in your mind when he came around was "Stink,” but we couldn't call him Stink because there were three other kids that already had that nickname in our neighborhood. Strangely, those guys didn't stink, and I felt like Trash Boy earned the name way more than they did, but that's what happens when you're young. You miss out on things like appropriate nicknames.
